Quarterlife Mocha Girl

NEW BLOG HOME---->Moving to Wordpress: Because I Said

2009-11-25T11:07:00.000-08:00

Ladies and Gents, I officially have a new blog home. I'm leaving Blogger (tear)! It's been great, but now I need something more, something to help me grow. A new look. A new feel. You get the idea. So here it is:

Alisha Tillery: Because I Said So (www.alishawritinglife.wordpress.com)

Stop by and link me!

Standing On My Soapbox: The Downside of Technology

2009-11-20T07:56:00.000-08:00

Unless you've been living under a rock (or you're my friend, E, who refuses to succumb to social media and she's in the IT field. She's had Gmail since 2004!), you're probably on Facebook or Twitter. Maybe both (like me). I love social media and what it's done for our world. Even better, I love what it's done for me. Without blogs, Facebook and Twitter, I wouldn't have connected with such great writers, editors and bloggers. These blogs and articles make me think in a different way and they also help pass time at work on a boring day.

Now, on to the bad stuff.

For every intelligent, rational, understanding, respectful person who has a blog, FB or Twitter profile, there are atleast 100 dumb, irrational, disrespectful people who have them, too. In other words, social media has only made it even clearer than before that the country is running rampant with idiots. I meant that in the most loving way possible.

I won't talk about how some "celebrities" are passing their ignorance and foolishness on to their young and impressionalbe followers. That's a post for another day. Let's start at the bottom and work our way up. This is going to sound harsh and maybe intellectually snobbish. Well, dammit, it is. The misspellings are out of control. The incorrect grammar is out of control. The incorrect use of words is out of control. It's killing me softly.

By your profile, you're a successful attorney or business tycoon, but your posts make it obvious that you skipped out on the weekly spelling tests in second and third grade. Yeah, I hear you--spelling is not and never was one of your strong suits. Math isn't mine (I hate it), so I make sure I don't have to do anything before a large audience that requires a quadratic equation. And I KEEP a calculator with me.

Here's another excuse I hear often: Why do I need to spellcheck? Don't call me out. It's only Facebook/Twitter. It's not that serious.

That may be true, but suppose a prospective client, mentor or suitor read your profile? It could be a major turn-off for them. Unfortunately, the only things that get us through the door are our appearance, speech and writing abilities (for the most part). If you write the way you speak, Houston, we have a problem.

These are some common mistakes I see:

Using "there", instead of "their"
Using "where", instead of "we're" (this is a contraction for we are)
Using "tooken", instead of "taken"
Using "you're", instead of "your"
Using text language in anything other than a text message.

While I'm thinking about it, somebody, please tell me what the hell this is!

Miss XYZ feels like im n dis all along.

This status update is from a 19-year-old. This is not a text message, nor a Tweet where the characters are limited. Can you believe that kids really don't know that "what" is spelled with an "h"? When I read status update from some 21 and unders, I feel like I'm reading a chapter from Push. Why don't they know better?

Check out some tweets from the other day:

Abelleinbk: reading some of the responses to my Bey post makes me scared for the youth. the education system in this country really is a joke

@abelleinbk Don't even get me started! I'm convinced that our youth are just plain dumb. Harsh, but real. I blame tech, parents & schools

That's the way I feel. What's even worse is adults have fallen into the trap, too. Here's a link posted on Facebook by a friend: Shouldn't Have Given You Twitter: Mary J. Blige

So sad...My girl is getting clowned. Okay, okay, her job is to sing, not write, right? Yes, but when we do things in a public setting, we're open to any and all criticisms. This further proves my point that we must learn to stick to our gifts and talents. I know Twitter has given artists more authority to handle their own PR, but these practitioners and consultants need to step in immediately.

Yet another classic example: As if we didn't already know, R. Kelly is illiterate. Taken from NBCChicago.com . Try not to laugh at the title--just wrong!

"When I was trying to make it out here, I already knew, and I was stubborn about it,” he said. “I don’t even read really and I’m not afraid to say that. My cousins and brothers used to tease me ‘you can’t even read right. How you think you’re going to come up?’ The only reason I graduated from grammar school is because I had a great jump shot. I went to high school and [my teacher] told me ‘you will one of the greatest writers of all time.’ I believed. You [have to] believe it. You can’t believe [anything] if you’re hating. You can’t achieve [anything] if you’re hating.”

The issue is not him being illiterate. There are millions of functioning illiterates walking around. It's not even him admitting it without shame. It is what is is. However, it doesn't have to be. Dude is settling for being illiterate based on the fact that he's a talented (gifted) writer and producer. I guarantee if he was reduced to flipping burgers and dropping fries, he'd be in somebody's school then. Regardless of the money and fame, he needs to get a GED. Learn how to read and spell because his lyrics are a dead giveaway that something ain't right. It's equivalent to a star athlete skipping school and tests because his jumpshot will carry him. With one injury, he's back in the real world with regular folks and dumb as hell. There's nothing worse than an old fool.

The moral of the story is this: Read, don't settle for mediocrity and get help if you think (know) you need it.

***Stepping off my soapbox, but I will return

Taking Care of Me

2009-11-18T10:24:00.000-08:00

I need to get it together. Yesterday, it hit that I'm so living so subpar and mediocre. Well, not living. I am blessed, have a great relationship with God, employed, in decent health and have real family and friends. Those things are in order.

My existence, however, is another story. I look and feel like a bum. I need to take better care of myself. After watching "Heart of the City: Dying to Eat in Jackson," I was inspired. If those women made changes in their lives--exercising and eating right--to lose hundreds of pounds collectively, surely I can take my ass somewhere and walk a few days out of the week. It's not that hard.

My daddy has heart disease and my mama has hypertension. They're both hereditary. Yay me. So clearly a full physical in is order. I don't want to be the skinny girl who died of a heart attack at 35. I'm ready (I think) to take the plunge and get braces (again). I thought I was pretty cute with braces, but I was 14, not 28. I want my old smile back. How about getting these eyes checked out? Sitting at this computer and staring at the Blackberry can wreak havoc on the eyes.

Okay, enough of the venting. My biggest goal and resolution for 2010 is to take better care of myself. Period. Physically, mentally and emotionally.

Writing Chronicles: Happiness & Disappointment

2009-11-15T20:12:00.000-08:00

The Happiness

Last week, I accepted a writing assignment to interview an actor. He's quite possibly the sexiest, hottest man on the planet to me. Wait, let me scratch that. I didn't accept the assignment. I volunteered and the magazine accepted. Either way I was ecstatic because of the writing slump. The editor even showed interest in a pitch I sent. I felt like God had immediately answered my prayer. And he did, but I do know that I need to write for GP (general purposes), not just because I have an assignment. I've been doing that (eventually, I'll post the stories here).

Anyway, I finally stepped into the new millennium and bought this:

It's the Olympus Mini Tele-Recording Device from Radio Shack. I used it record my phone interview. I used my cell and even though the reviews suggest that it can be used for landlines, I don't buy it. I had to put my cell on speaker.

The interview went well until I realized 20 minutes into it that the mic was on the floor. I had the cell next to the mic on the voice recorder, but the mini-was plugged in. Oh God, the horror! I'd been taking notes, but I'd missed a large chunk of the dialogue.

After I came down from my high from the interview (are any other writers star struck even over the phone??), I immediately played the tape back, praying that it was audible. It was! I listed to about one minute and turned it off.

The Disappointment

I sat down this evening to transcribe the interview (about 40 minutes). It was a great interview because he did most of the talking. In general conversation, he answered a lot of my questions before I asked them. BUT, I turned the recorder on and was mortified. (Disclaimer: I was extremely close the mic so my voice was a bit altered.)

I sound terrible!!

Ugh. Just ugh. Have you heard my rant about my "accent"? When I visited DC and New York, I was constantly in mini-arguments about my "accent". I walked into a Subway on 29th street in NYC. I spoke (because that's what Southerners do). I belted out a big, "Hey, how you doing?" Before I could ask if they had any double chocolate chip cookies, the only guy in there asked me if I was from Alabama. WTF? I have since learned that Alabama is New Yorker's "go-to" state in reference to the South.

In DC for the Inauguration, sitting in the back of the police car with my girls (don't ask--read this), the male officer clowned my accent for atleast an hour. The guy we rode around Club Love with got a kick out of anything that came out of my mouth. Again, don't ask.

I have a twang. I know this. Check the blog profile and you will see that I'm from Memphis. I can't get away from it. I'm an oral communications instructor and from the sounds of that tape, I should be a student. I talk. That's what I do for a living. Why in the hell do I sound like I need to be in Harpo's Juke Joint?

I will say that I didn't totally have my "speaking" voice on. I was a little comfortable during that interview. I'm trying to find my interviewer style. I want to walk the fine line between formal (out of respect for the interviewee and the publication) and downright right real. The subject is more likely to talk openly if they think the journalist is genuine and makes them feel comfortable.

The bottom line is I'm definitely looking for voice coaches. I think I'm going to have nightmares about this.

My Problem With "Regret"

2009-11-12T09:29:00.000-08:00

Clutch posted the the new video for LeToya's Luckett's single, "Regret." I've already seen the video. That's not the issue. The lyrics are what strike a cord with me.

About two months ago, a local deejay premiered the song, saying it was a "banger" and the "ladies are already feeling this one." I listened and simply wasn't impressed...with the words. Here are a few:

I made you cool
You wasn't that dude
Until i started fuckin with you
Gave you swag, and a duffel bag
You left the best you had now you gotta act like that
I got you right
I changed your life
Suicide doors I cosigned
Gucci rags, Louis travel bags
You left the best you had, baby don't look so mad

You must regret the day that you left me
You still tryin to get back
Still tryin to get back

VIP was all on me
Now you're at the bar with 1 or 2 drinks
Poppin game, you look so lame
Without me your pimpin aint the same
First class flights
Dipped in ice
I had your neck and wrist oh so bright
Poppin tags, is a thing of the past
You lost the things you had chasin those scallywags

You get the point. In layman's terms, how dare you drop me for that chick after everything I've given you and done for you? She's a "scallywag." She doesn't keep you in the hottest clothes and rides like I do. Now, you're back to scrub status. Don't even try to come back.

I know its' "just a song," but in the words of Savannah on Waiting to Exhale, "Somebody had to go through this stuff, ya know?"

First, the materialism in the lyrics is mind-blowing, but that's another post for another time. Besides, nothing gets airplay like spouting off designer names who don't want to see us in their shit anyway. But I digress. On to my question.

In terms of giving in a relationship, are we putting value in the right things?
There was a post on A Belle In Brooklyn a while back (No link; I refuse to look for it) where a young professional woman wanted to know why her boyfriend left her for a woman who had a mediocre job and no education. Belle made a point that's stuck with me since reading: Men don't require degrees, baller-status jobs and flashy cars. Women do. At the very least, a man requires respect, love and the need to feel needed.

With that being said, keep the LV totes and Gucci rags (although I'm not against nice gifts for those love). Who cares if you drip him in ice? Hell, why are you doing that in the first place? Is there any reciprocity?

What else do you have to offer besides material things? *This is a question for men and women.

Disclaimer: The writer's thoughts and opinions on LeToya Luckett's "Regret" is not a reflection of the writer's views on the actual artist. The writer is a fan of Luckett's work and has been since the days of Beyonce & 'Nem.

Shocking!!

2009-11-11T14:06:00.000-08:00

"And it came to me like an epiphany."

-Chrisette Michelle

I know what you're thinking. I'm always having a damn epiphany. Stay with me. If you've been reading long enough, you know that this blog is hella boring now. I'd like to get back to telling stories rather than regurgitating my feelings about how my day's been going and what I don't like. It's starting to cross over from a blog to a negativity fest. Me no likey that!

Every day, as a morning ritual, I read all of my favorite blogs. In no particular order. Some thought-provoking, some hilarious, some completely pointless. But I like each and every one of them because the writers all have something to say. They even took the time to write it down, post it on the World Wide Web and go so far as to include pics and videos (gasp!). With every entry I read the same question runs across my mind: Why didn't I think of that?

The simplest things from who should pay for a date to issues in race and skin color (think: Sammy Sosa's "skin rejuvenation") are written about every second. Every second I'm feeling inspired by these folks. When I sit down, laptop in lap, reading (typing) glasses on, ready to bless the Word document with some deep ish, NOTHING comes out.

I've finally figured out why (because I'm so smart).

I'll start writing when I stop reading everyone else's blogs. Atleast temporarily. Yes, I know a good writer is also an avid reader (read Aliya S. King's latest blog for must-have books for writers), but by the time I read two million blogs and comment on a million, I'm drained. I know that's a terrible excuse, but I swear it makes perfect sense to me.

So for the next few days, I'm going to find a quiet space (my sofa) and write...whatever. This is the catch though. I'm going to write without the Internet. It's a huge damn distraction if I've ever seen one. Nevermind that I needed the Internet to even get into Blogger. I'm going old school this time around. Just Word 2007 and me.

Wish me luck!

Another One Bites The Dust

2009-10-26T10:06:00.000-07:00

I was reading Belle today, as I often do. Her latest post is in reference to a story in Essence, "Dating Like A White Girl." I totally agree with going out on dates with all kinds of men---even those who aren't in your "circle". The valet guy, the one who works a regular 9-5, the guy who didn't attend college to get into the habit of dating (because it is an art). It's a date, a few hours (if you're lucky, several hours) of your time to get to know a person in a public setting. A date--not an instant relationship. I've looked at dates as the latter for a long time. Foolish, indeed. How ironic that recently I decided to step out of my comfort zone and try to get something going with two different guys. Both showed interest.

Here's the issue: Both guys showed interest, but interest in what exactly? I finally get past critiquing every little thing about a man, from misspellings in text messages to his speech and then he hits me with the non-date date: Let's kick it at the house. My answer: Hell no.

I have principles and while I know principles will sometimes leave you alone and miserable, I can't let this one go. First dates will never be at my or his house. This is not college, so the freshmen approach is over. Let's do better. If I've only had one brief conversation with you and a few midday texts, what makes you think I want to be alone with you? Why do you want to be alone with me? I've got an answer! Maybe to see how far you can go?

That's it. The male BFF told me (as if it were a shock to me) that men will only take as far it as they want to go with a woman. If he wants to get to know you, he'll propose a real date (which doesn't have to be a ritzy, expensive outing, btw). If he wants sex, he'll propose kicking it at the house.

So that leaves me back at Square 1--nowhere. Maybe I'm just jaded. It could be that some guys really do have intentions to hang out and just chill. BUT, I know what my gut tells me and I've finally become mature enough to listen. So, as it stands the score is Men: 2 Me: 0. It just has to get better than this.

A Sweet Dream Or A Beautiful Nightmare

2009-10-15T10:58:00.000-07:00

When I woke up this morning, I was overjoyed to find myself in my bed, in my bedroom, in my house---back to reality. If you didn't know, I can sometimes have VERY vivid dreams. This dream? Vivid and scary all at the same time, but I have a couple of theories about why this happened.

The Dream: I had a baby. Calm down. I know this is a common dream. Every woman in her lifetime has probably had a dream about having a baby or being pregnant. Me, included! This time, I could really feel emotions though. I was holding this little bitty girl, wrapped up in blankets. I was just gazing at her. I was in love. I'd asked a friend of mine to hold her, only to go get another baby. A little boy. A small toddler. What the hell? I had two kids???

The icing on the cake was this: once the "afterglow" passed, I became frantic. I was screaming, "I have two kids! How did this happen?" I didn't know either. It was if someone had dropped them off to me, but yet I still had them. It's was definitely a weird one.

Two reasons for this sweet dream/nightmare: (1) A dream about a baby is supposed to represent new beginnings. Remember my theory about getting some communications duties at the job? I'm having a meeting with my supervisor in about an hour. Maybe that's it! Hopefully. (2) I had a phone conversation with a new guy last night and he kept asking me if I had children. I told him no and he still asked me. It was as if I was lying to him. Then he asked me did I want kids. As if I don't plan on having one just because I'm 28 and childless. When I told him I would like to be married first, he just made this funny noise like, "Humph." That's saying a lot about our society (no disrespect for single/unwed mothers--I come from one!) or either about his ways of thinking.

So, I'd given all of reasons for not having children and maybe that's why that dream showcased itself last night. I'll let you know how this other theory checks out in a minute.

Random Thoughts

2009-10-13T08:28:00.000-07:00

So, I'm sitting here. That's it. Just sitting here. I've had many, many days where I've been bored to tears at my job, but this right here---this ish right here--takes the cake. My supervisor is gone and I guess I should be grateful (who really likes when their boss is at work?), but I have nothing to do. Literally. Nothing. I've uploaded all of my pics onto Facebook, checked all of my daily blogs, read the local newspaper and still....nothing.

I just know my life has more purpose than this. I know it. There's something I should be doing, but of course, my clueless ass is coming up with nothing. I want to write--something. It doesn't even have to be for publication. But what about? This is a time where people who have drive are making ways for themselves. Knocking down doors that were never meant to be open. What the hell am I doing? Am I still considered as having a "Quarterlife Crisis" at 28? *If not, remind me to change the name of this blog.

The light at the end of the tunnel is one of my co-workers put her two-week notice in. I have a feeling since my sups know I'm over here skating for my check, they're going to give me some of her communications responsibilities. They can keep that development stuff. I don't fundraise, I write.

In other news, I attended my 10-year high school reunion. I had a blast! I'm so thankful that I had a great high school experience because I realize that everyone did not. I will say this though: It's a shame that 10 years later, when you bring a group of people together, it's like high school all over again. The "in" crowd versus the "other" people. It's not a good look. Just proof that adults really never grow up. Could it be that we as tax-paying, homeowning folks are really just teenagers playing "dress-up"?

Drop Your Thoughts in the Box

2009-09-27T20:13:00.000-07:00

Hi-yah! Pretty full weekend. Friends, sushi, wine, birthday party and shopping (just for one dress). Can't complain about it at all. If I didn't say so before, the housewarming went well. I still have food left over. After a second gathering at the house, my fridge is still full. Moving right along.

Weekend lesson: Wine and salsa dancing do not mix well. Remember that.

Moving right along. I'm a social media junkie. Well, I won't go that far, but I'm into every major social media site. I haven't even deleted my Myspace page yet, even though I never check it. I still have pics up from 2007. Facebook has an application called the Honesty Box. You ask a question and your friends anonymously answer. The most information you receive is the gender of that friend.

I'd set one up over a year ago and recently check it last week. A total random move. I've never responded to anyone else's questions, so I guess I didn't expect them to respond to mine. I had responses though. Quite a few. Surprise surprise! The latest response asks me, "Do you want a jumpoff?"

Wow.

Um. No.

I could go on about that, but the even bigger question to ask is this: Isn't it crazy that we have to have Internet applications to find out what people really think about us? Shouldn't there be an Honest Box for life? But it not be anonymous? Why do we have to fight so hard for the truth?

How ironic that I'm one of those people who has a hard time being honest with some folks. Honest as in "I don't think you're the one for me because I'm repulsed by you," not "I didn't go to bank, I stopped at the mall, instead" honest.

Either way, honesty is something that should be practiced more often than not. I'm looking at honesty like the Golden Rule. Do unto others, as you have them do unto you.
Nighty night.

You're Making It Too Easy

2009-09-25T12:24:00.000-07:00

Last night I was supposed to be sprawled out on my couch getting some much needed rest, but I was taken over by the Idiot Box. Yes, it's true. I can't stop watching television. Every year, I ask myself what it is that I going (to try) to fast. I now have my answer: television.

After crying myself into a tizzy over George being dead on Grey's Anatomy for the full two hours, I watched RHOA. I'll spare you all the messy details and skip to something that caught my attention. Just as NeNe and Khandi were about to verbally attack each other, Khandi does the mature thing and walks away. NeNe (with her messy a$$) continues talking crazy, then some woman tells her, "NeNe, no, you're writing a book. You have a book coming out." You know, as if to say she's about to release a New York Times Bestseller that will take her to the stages of Oprah and Good Morning America, alike. GTHOH!

I've seen the book and besides publicity on the celebrity blogs, I've heard nothing about it. It's chilling on the side bookshelves at Wal-Mart. I just saw it the other day. It pains me to know that someone will make this the reading for their monthly book club.

That brings me to my point, finally. My homie, E. and I were talking last night and she mentioned that now you don't have to be a writer to become an "author." She's right. Look at Toya (Carter). She's coming out with a book. Celebs, left and right, are selling books, but they aren't writing them. They're simply telling their stories to someone else who writes and edits them.

Now, I'm all for telling your story, inspiring others and getting paid while doing so. As I'm writing this I'm thinking of the other side of the coin, too. Who am I or anyone else, to say that someone who has not had formal training or education can't put a powerful story out for others to read? If you can't do something well enough, get someone else to do it, right? For example: Aliyah S. King's (my mentor in my head when I act right) work on a memoir for Faith Evans. Maybe she didn't have the skill or nerve to write it herself, but her story is still a great one. So, there it is. A memoir written by a seasoned, published author is born.

However, the market is TOO flooded with everything. Everybody wants a book, clothing line, television show, music career. It ain't for everybody. For a chosen few, it's an art, a way of life, a career that provides shelter, clothing and food to eat. For everyone else, it's just a way to get paid and it's fleeting. I can only imagine how real authors who were trained and perfected their crafts and gifts feel. Kinda like a published journalist to a blogger (I'm working on it!), an award-winning singer to a Kim, an Oscar winner to a rapper (except Queen Latifah/Ice Cube).

It's just too damn easy. Look out for my new clothing line and book combo in Spring 2010. I might throw in a wig line, too, even though I don't wear one.

Sigh

2009-09-24T14:23:00.000-07:00

"He smelled so good! You know, it's that kind of thing where when you hug a guy, the smell is buried in him."
-Oprah on Shawn Corey Carter

Sigh.

You know, lately, I've been on this kick about guys. I just read a wonderful post by a writer/blogger/friend in my head, Jozen about liking people, crushes and things of that nature. It's been so long since I've had a real crush. Hell, it's been so long since I've been around a guy that makes me go......siiiiigggghhhhh.

Here are a few things about men that make me go "sigh."

1. Cologne: Please, refer to previous quote. There is nothing like a man who smells good. Now, don't get me wrong, seems like just this weekend, I leaned in for a hug from a guy and almost passed out because his strong-ass cologne was invading my nostrils. The right smell and just the right amount is "sighable." Yes, I just made that up. Don't judge me!You just inhale, go to Heaven and never want to come back down.

2. Hugs: Who doesn't like a big, strong, lingering hug? If you don't, kill yo'self! It's so lovely! I've yet to decide if a slim guy or a big guy gives the best hugs. It doesn't matter as long as I am wrapped up and engulfed in it.

3. Fresh haircuts: Sorry, bald-headed dudes. This doesn't apply to you, unless your hair is growing back. A fresh haircut with the perfect line and fade-out/taper (whatever!) is awesome. I guess that's the way guys feel about our hair. I can't explain what it is about them. Maybe it's proof that you take care of yourself? Maintenance is what's up.

What else do you think is "sighable"? I could go on, but I didn't want to be so specific. Your turn.

No Words=?**&?!

2009-09-23T10:55:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking (as usual) how crazy it is for two people to have two totally different ways of thinking about a situation. Listening to a guy friend last week, he metioned a girl in a situation who is his "friend" and has been for almost 20 years, but she is "kinda in love" with him. Wow. I guess that situation is slightly different because he knows how she feels about him.

What about when the woman sees a guy as a friend only. Let's even say an associate. The guy thinks they have been in something synonymous to a relationship for some time. How does that happen? And while we're asking questions, what does "dealing with" mean? As in, "we've been dealing with each other for a minute." And takers?

Yeah, I don't know either, but it has prompted me to take a look at how I communicate and "deal" with other folks. It's obvious, more than ever before, that lack of communication only causes confusion. Why did it take so long for that to sink in.

Smh.

Bye

Don't Be Tardy Fah Da Partay!

2009-09-18T09:19:00.000-07:00

It's raining. Again. It's been raining since Sunday and will probably continue until later next week. I can't question God and His work. We must need all this rain. Sometimes it makes me feel good and sometimes it just depresses me. What's a day without a peak of sunshine?

Tomorrow's the housewarming. I don't know how I feel about it. I'm excited to see my friends and family. That's really what matters most, I guess. I'm wondering did I overdo it though. You know? Too much food? Not enough? Do I have enough space? Hell, will anyone come? Regardless, the important people will be there, so it's all good.

Let's take a step back and talk about how extra these Housewives are. Kim, you are certified crazy and even though Kandi flipped the hell out of "Don't Be Tardy For the Party," it's still wack! And I can't get that damn hook out of my head!! Someone please help me understand how you claim you want to be a singer, even go so far as to have a professional writer/producer work on your track and then you confess that you have a fear of singing. I mean, who does that???

Ugh. Just ugh.

What's Wrong With This Picture?

2009-09-11T08:37:00.000-07:00

If you read blogs, you've probably seen this dude on the scene in Atlanta. Hair shows, fashion shows, album release parties, etc. It wasn't until I saw him last night on RHOA (you know what that is!) that I found out his name.

The one and only (thank heavens), Derek J.

Again, I ask you, what's wrong with this picture?

Could it be a grown-ass man in a kimono and mini-skirt? Or the fact that he squeezed his fat feet in some stilettos? Maybe it's the fact that he has a full-grown goatee and a choker on?

Take your pick!

I consider myself a liberal. Do you what you do because it's not taking money out of my pocket or whatever, but when I saw him show up to Kim's door with grey skinny jeans, studded stilettos and an off-the-shoulder shirt, chaneling the chick from Flashdance, I just couldn't take it anymore. This ish is out of control.

I have a close childhood friend who lives his life as a woman. It doesn't bother me. Hell, we even showed up in church with the same shoes on! Maybe it's because he doesn't don a beard and fade! I'm so confused.

I wonder what his mother thinks....sheesh!

So Happy God Doesn't Think Like Us and Other Random Stuff

2009-09-03T12:10:00.000-07:00

This may come as a complete shock, but I just comtemplated what I call "disconnect and reconnect." As of right, social media and the internet as a whole is WAYYYY too much for me. Case and point:

1. Chris Brown (and his bowtie): Thank heavens I missed C. Breezy's interview on Larry King Live. I didn't know it was coming on anyway because I felt like he deserved another chance. He's clearly a kid in a (almost) grown man's body. Why did I go to bed and wake up to Twitterland ripping this boy to shreds?

Apparently, he's not that articulate and his PR team needs to be fired asap. We already knew this. The interview on Larry King, of all places sent the issue, which was almost dead, to another level. No one was really caring. Too much Michael Jackson, Ted Kennedy and healthcare reform stuff going on.

Terrible, awful mistake to go hard on Rihanna. Even bigger mistake to kick up dust about it almost five months later. What I don't understand is how you have grown ass people nitpicking at this young man. Get over it. Yes, I saw the bowtie and I will say that if he was gonna rock it, powder blue should have never been a color option. But we always knew CB needed a stylist, right? So, as of right now, #ChrisBrownsbowtie is #2 trending topic on Twitter. I'm all for laughs, but I need not for 75 percent of the people on my list to have nonstop commentary about him and his faults.

I know what you're thinking: Well, damn, just don't get on the Internet. DUH! (Hence my idea to disconnect.) Also, this is not so much about CB as it is the lack of sensitivity towards people. Let the boy serve his time or hard labor, get extensive counseling and grow up. Hopefully, that will solve it.

2. Maia Campbell: I refuse to post the video because I know you have seen it by now. Evidently, she's bipolar and her deceased mother, BeBe Moore Campbell's last novel, 72 Hour Hold was based on her. She's been out there for a minute now, but this video shows us what's going on. She needs help badly. Where are her family members? Father? Aunts or cousins? After this was posted, Twitter, FB and the blogs blew up about it, some even calling her a "crack whore" and "slut." It's not funny. She needs immediate help, but all we--Black folk---know how to do is hate and kick people when they're down. I hope this video will do just as much good as bad. Hopefully, she can be found and given what she needs to go on.

3. Whitney Houston: Yes, I missed the performance and I simply didn't want to see the clips of it. She looks fabulous and I like her new single. The burning question from people who didn't see it was, "How did she sound?" I read mixed reviews, but more negative comments than anything. Supposedly, she sounded terrible and is not the "old Whitney." Guess what? You're right! I'm a firm believer that God can preserve his gifts, but after 10+ years of crack and whatever else, I doubt she's blowing like she was in '93. Give her a damn break! It took enough guts to come back in the first place. I say kudos to Whitney!

I'm starting to believe that hate makes the world go 'round, instead of love. Atleast, according to the Internet.

Blah Moments

2009-09-01T12:07:00.000-07:00

Right at this very moment, I could go to sleep. Why? Because I have a bad attitude. Why? Because I don't know. Someone said something to me that I'm sure was harmless and I've been pissed ever since. That was atleast two hours ago. That's okay with me though.

I don't want to do anything today and I have plenty to do. Again, I just want to go to sleep. I was reading a new blog and the blogger gave details about a wack first date she had. That reminded me of one of my dates. Maybe it wasn't a date, just an outing. You know there is a difference. However, he did pick me up and pay for dinner so I reckon it was a date. I really tried to like this dude. (Well, kinda). He was older, had himself together. A real job, home, no children, not in a relationship/married. You get it....Cool guy. We even talked for hours on the phone about regular stuff.

Actually this was our second "date" and I think by that time, I'd realized that the chemistry was not there. But he was cool and getting out is always good. I was trying to test myself to see if I didn't like him because I really didn't like him in that way or if I was being shallow.

First, he didn't come to the door. Okay, no problem. I think we went to the movies (can't remember the movie) and then to dinner. Conversation was regular. We didn't have shit to talk about on the way back, in the car surprisingly. It was that dead, uncomfortable silence. Ugh. So it was time for me to get out of the car. He asked for a hug before I left. Gave me this uncomfortable "car hug". Keep in mind the car was a coupe so it was hella hard trying to accomplish that. Looking back on it now, perhaps he was expecting me to ask him in? Nahhh.

I was in my apartment on the first floor at the time. It only took me 15 seconds to get to my door and unlock it. I'll be damned if before I could get the key in the lock, this dude burned out!! He didn't wait to see if I got in safely. THAT pissed me off. By the time I stepped on my Welcome Home doormat, I turned and saw his damn tail lights. WTF is that about?

I'm smart enough to know that either he was a complete idiot or he just wasn't feeling me. Either option is fine because I wasn't feeling him either. But then he sent a text to check on me for the night. Huh?

Yet another reason why there just wasn't any chemistry.

Moments I'd Like To Forget, But Can't Stop Laughing About

2009-08-27T12:16:00.000-07:00

For past week, I have been feeling a yi yi about life. I haven't really had too many laughs. Tomorrow is Friday and in honor of that, I'm going to start laughing out loud. You do know that's what LOL means even though most times when we type it, we're not actually laughing out loud. So, in my quest to lighten myself up, I'll start with the best comical subject I can find: ME.

Yes, yes, people, believe it not, hilarious things ALWAYS happen to me. So I'll give you three scenarios. One is a throwback, the other two are fairly recent.

Cheers To You

A couple of years ago I was on a first date with a hot guy. It was a lovely first date. Great atmosphere, dim lights, good sushi (finally, a man who likes it just as much as I) and even better conversation. For cocktails, I ordered my signature appletini. He later asked did I want to try some sake. He thought I was new to this, but I was a vet in the sushi/sake game. Of course, I'd like some. I don't care for the taste, but the buzz makes it worth it. To my surprise, they'd started serving mint-flavored sake. Yummy!

Before we took our first shot of the sake, we made a toast "to friendship and new beginnings" or something like that. Way to reel me in, huh? Between the conversation, jokes and crunchy crawfish rolls, I was rotating my martini and sake like a blunt. Talking, laughing and sipping. Everythang was everythang!

Then it was time to get up. As soon as I put my weight on my feet to stand, I felt horrible. I. Was. Drunk. While he turned away to talk to the server, I quickly got myself together. Fast forward to the jazz lounge we stopped by. In mid-sentence, I caught a dizzy spell and told him I needed to go to the ladies room. Twenty seconds later, I was locked in the stall, sick as hell. I had two options: Either throw up or pass out. Neither was acceptable for a first date (or second, third or fourth). I camped out there for a good minute, asking myself and God why did I have to double up on martinis and sake. I was literally praying to get me through the rest of the night. Finally, unlocked myself from the claustrophobic stall, freshened up and went back out to the lobby. Evidently, I was looking as crazy as a box of rocks. My date's expression said it all. As Bernie Mac said, he "looked at me like I was short." Then if that wasn't enough, he asked me if I needed to lay down.

Within two hours I'd gone from Sex in the City to Intervention. I guess I made an impression.

She Got Her Own

When I moved from my apartment to my house, I used a moving crew. The "crew" consisted of two guys. A hella young white guy who told me his life story while they were working and a middle-aged black guy who flirted with me while they were working. I didn't have anything to do so I got out of their way and sat in the corner of my dining room and played with my Blackberry. They were in my bedroom moving my dresser and mattress. The black guy had already asked me if I lived alone, was I married or in relationship. Yes, no and no.

On their way out of the door, I noticed they had these peculiar looks on their faces. The black guy, two ends of the mattress in hand asks, "So, can you cook?"

"I can cook enough." That's a codeword for no.

"Can you cook just a little bit?"

How weird is that? Is this damn 20 Questions?

I walked back to my half-empty room to find an empty condom box laying in the middle of my bed frame.

Hilarious!

Rolling With The Homies
I never wake up on time to get to work early or even on time. Sometimes I don't pick out my clothes for the next day or even tie my hair up. Last week, every day was one of those days. When I have curls, my closest friends know that I will throw 3-5 rollers randomly in my hair while I'm getting dressed to give limp strands a curl (I use rods, btw, not magnetic rollers). I got dressed, gobbled down my Cinnamon Toast Crunch, pulled the trash to the curb and jumped in my car for my 30 minute commute to work.

After I parked, I hopped on the disgusting, dingy elevator. There was a guy already on. I'd seen him before, but I could tell he was new to the area. Worked a few buildings down from mine. Tall, slim, professional looking. Always has a briefcase overflowing with stuff and a laptop bag. (Damn, I told you I'd seen him before!) Fairly young or young enough. As I stepped in the elevator, he greeted me. I replied with a smile, "I'm great. How are you this morning?"

I had my mp3 player in, jammin to Lady in My Life and noticed that he was staring at me. It wasn't that he was checking me out though. It was this look like, "What the hell?" Why though? I had a cute outfit and my toes had a fresh coat of polish. I ignored him. Finally, he says, "Sooooo, is that a new trend with the ladies?"

"Excuse me?"

"That...roller in the top of your head. Is that a something new?"

Well, I'll be damned! I forgot to the take the roller out!

Let me tell you about this roller. It's not your average roller. It's a neon orange Jherri Curl rod. In plain sight, BIG chilling in my head. How did I miss that in rear view.

I'm too cool to be embarrassed though.

"Oh wow. Somebody was in a hurry this morning! I immediately snatched it out and threw it in my work bag."That's a Monday for you. Thank you and have a good day!"

If I'd had Bewitched powers, I'd wiggle my nose to disappear into thin air.

Only me. Only me.

Hump Day Happenings

2009-08-26T13:30:00.000-07:00

So....I'm sitting here about to jump out of my seat because I'm so ready to go. I'm ready to get the hump of Hump Day. Today has been a day of nothingness, filling food and -itis. Somebody remind me to fore go the stuffed crabcakes, salad and three butter rolls the next time we have a farewell luncheon. Almost two hours later, I'm still miserable. But I have been able to do a few things to feel like a productive U.S. citizen. I read atleast two stories on the life of Senator Ted Kennedy. Who knew he helped to implement COBRA and fled the death scene of a fatal car crash?? Rest in peace. Ever since his speech at the Democratic Convention, he's been special to me. He spoke with so much zeal and fire.

I drafted the Evite for my housewarming. It's an Evite, so you might be asking why I'm drafting. All I have to do is fill in the time, place, etc. and import email contacts, right? Yeah, but there is some anxiety about having a party considering I've never had one as an adult. Having my linesisters over and it turning into an apartment overflowing with RAP (random-ass people) does not count. This is a housewarming and I want it to be fun. With a decent male:female ratio.

Hmmmm.....That may be where the problem lies. To quote Darius Lovehall (Shame on you if you don't know who I'm referring to!), "Besides Felicia, I can't stand to be around any of 'em for more than an hour at a time." Replace "Felicia" with a guy's name though. I don't get down like that. So yeah, I could invite a few guys, but how many of them am I on good enough terms with to say, "Hey, why don't you come to my house and celebrate with me. That means that you now have my address to try to drop by unannounced." NONE. Homey don't play dat.

I'm not even going to get into why that may be. I know that if you experience patterns in life, it's not the pattern. It's you. I got that. As usual, I'm over thinking. I'm sure I'll have a fabulous time as long as my friends and family are there. And a bottle of Moscatto, of course.

Happy Hump Day!

Rest In Peace, Baby Girl

2009-08-25T13:17:00.000-07:00

I remember it so clearly. I was in my dorm room unpacking. I had just come back to SU for the start of my junior year. My television was still sitting on the floor, rather than on my "Yaffa Block" stand. I had the TV on mute, but the radio was blasting since my roommate hadn't arrived yet. (I know I have that bad!). Around 9 p.m. or so, I looked at the screen and images of Aaliyah were flashing. I had it on CNN. Around that time, you couldn't find that many of us on, so I immediately turned the volume up. I could feel something pulling at my heart so I'd already begun praying that it wasn't anything catastrophic.

And it was. She was dead. A plane crash. Right after leaving the video shoot for "Rock the Boat." That hurt. Aaliyah? I was so excited to hear on 106 & Park (the Wonder Years) that she was shooting the video for that song. It was THE song on the album. She was so mature now. She'd gone from singing about a "Four Page Letter" to getting it on (who knew it was with Dame Dash though??) and loving it. Every time Aaliyah came out, it was something new and refreshing. She actually danced, instead of shaking her ass. She exuded sex appeal, but in a sweet, innocent way. I just read a Facebook status that said, "Rest in peace, Aaliyah. Beyonce' who?"

I had all off her stuff. Besides the old Jodeci material, Aaliyah was one of the first artists to showcase Timbaland's genius production (think "One In a Million"). She was the first skinny, tall girl I'd seen around my age who could sing and had a quirky sense of style.

When they released the video for "I Miss You", I sat on my parents' bed and cried. Like hard. I've never been the best with death. The same question floats around in my head when someone dies: What if......? I often wonder, if they plane had landed, where would women be in music? How much more could Aaliyah's career and life have flourished? Would Missy and Tim still be making beats together? I wonder.

Rest in peace, Aaliyah.

Because I Can't Stop Thinking

2009-08-25T12:32:00.000-07:00

So, the other night, my male BFF told me I think too much. He probably tells me this atleast once every two weeks, maybe? I start going off on tangents, which I'm known to do about everything from the lack thereof (yeah we talk about that, too) to wanting a new job to whatever. I mentioned to a female friend and her response was, "We're women. We're supposed to think all of the time. Duh."

Precisely.

So here's what I've been thinking about lately. Keep in mind that it only makes sense in my head and sometimes, not even there. It's just random stuff.

My biological clock is ticking. I can't hear it, but I know it's ticking. Yesterday, a co-worker told me she wouldn't "wait too long" to have a baby if she were me. She was about 28 when she got pregnant, but it was accidental. My mother got pregnant at 28 and it was accidental. So what does that say to me? On one hand, I know I want to be young and vibrant enough to enjoy my children and hopefully, grandchildren. On the other hand, why suggest that I have a baby soon when your pregnancies weren't even planned? Get it?

A couple of months ago, I toiled over this same issue when my doctors found a gigantic fibroid in my uterus. What if I couldn't have children at all? Oh, the horror, right? I was depressed for days. Granted, everything turned out fine, but it sent some feelers out that I need to think about having children soon (as in the next 2-5 years).

This is the thing though. A: I have no "real" control over what will happen in that area. Yeah, I could run out to the sperm donor right now, but it's not THAT serious to me. B: I need and want a father for child to be my husband. C: I have no prospects for a husband, baby daddy, hell, even a boyfriend. Women are talking to me like I can just pull a man from the sky, have sex with him and voila'! Behold, a child! Uh-uh. I don't roll like that.

So that thought alone sends me right back to the depressed mode. Just when I think I'm crazy, someone else tells me that they think about the same thing. Well, the baby part, atleast. Tell me, do you think about this? I assume that some men think about having children, too--even though they can make babies until they're 70+. If not, what are some things you think about that you think are uncommon?

The Weekend At A Glance

2009-08-17T09:16:00.000-07:00

Hey folks! This weekend has been nonstop. Right now, I feel like my head is going to explode. Today would be such a great day to take a half-day and jet. But no, I'll be thuggin it out. For once, I got out this weekend. I headed to a SWAC (that's Southwestern Athletic Conference) Alumni Picnic. There were plenty of people from Jackson State University, Alcorn State and a few from other schools. Only three of us were from Southern, but we still had a presence. We had a great time talking about how our school is THE BEST.

Moving on....My godson had a surprise birthday pool party. I've never seen so many little kids. They all played in the pool, and for a minute, I thought I'd atleast put my feet in the water, but I decided not to. I couldn't afford to get the hair wet. Typical, right?

Moving on...I got two free tickets to a Raheem DeVaughn show courtesy of my cousin. *Let me retract that statement. It was showcase for an artist, Phil Ade', hosted by Raheem. I knew this because I read event flyers to prevent bamboozlement (I think I just made that up). I have been to enough music events to know that the "host" isn't going to do much but...host. So it was hillarious to see the venue packed from the front to the back (a friend of mine looked at me like I was crazy when I said I didn't know Raheem DeVaughn had so many fans--my bad!). Couples were boo'd up and dressed to the nines. The little man (that's what I call him) came out in shades and a Polo shirt and eventually did 1.5 songs. The showcase artist did like six! Talk about some pissed people. LOL.

The best part of the night was my glass of Moscatto and the opening act, William Davenport. I could hardly see him, but his voice is amazing. I'd like to think of him as the male India Arie. That is if Eric Roberson or PJ Morton don't already have that title. Check him out @willdavenport.

Sunday was spent with family for my Granny's birthday. I finally hung some pictures on my bare walls at home and ironed some curtains. Ahh, the life of a homeowner. I did all of that while watching True Blood and Mad Men. Mad Men....um yeahhhh. The gay scene? Totally unexpected. I never really watched the show, but I could just sense that Sal was going to get ole boy. And the killing part was, as big as he is, he wasn't even the aggressor! May just have to stick with True Blood only on Sundays.

What did you do this weekend?

Sad State of Affairs

2009-08-14T11:44:00.000-07:00

This is a sad state of affairs right here. I could talk about how even though Micheal Vick did his time, they are STILL going hard on him. I could talk about the fact that white folks are SUPER pissy about this healthcare deal and are cutting up sideways in these townhalls. Or I could even talk about people still coming out of the woodworks claiming to be Michael Jackson's children's bios. But no. Instead, I'm going to talk about me.

During a regular conversation with Moms, she asked if I was going "off" (meaning going out).

I said, "Ummmm...noooo. I am going to the beauty shop though!" I was a littel excited. Maybe too excited, but you haven't seen my head. (Nevermind that I had this bright idea to grow my eyebrows out so they could be thicker. Now I look like Snuffalufacus!) I added that that might be the "highlight" of my day.

"Umph, all you do is go home to your house now, huh?"

She didn't say it like it was a tragedy. There was no pity in her voice. She just asked a question.

I'd been asking myself the very same question. Hell, I think I even mentioned it in a previous blog. I, shamefully, had to answer. "Yeah, pretty much. How wack is that?"

"Nah, it's not. If that's what you wanna do."

"But I don't."

"Oh."

So, the sad state of affairs is when your own mama realizes that you lead a boring life. Sigh. Remember when I always had some hilarious story about going out? Maybe that time has passed. But dammit, I'm only 28. I deserve to ENJOY life. I work too hard (some of the time). Look for some changes in the near future.

Happy Thursday!

Ladies Night Around the World

2009-08-13T07:37:00.000-07:00

Today is Thursday, known as Ladies Night around the world. I got that from a friend/linesister. Ladies Night also means that the following day is Friday. I have a busy weekend. Committed myself to too many things, as usual. I pushed the housewarming back. I need to relax. And I need TIME. I'm clearly obsessed over decorating this house. I was just thinking how I might have OCD. Seriously. Everything I do major, it becomes obsessive. I can only imagine what will happen when I get married and have a child. It's crazy.

Anyway. I'm blogging from work, as usual. Listening to Teedra. I'm talking about Teedra Moses, but I kinda feel like I know her like that, ya know. So we're on a first-name basis (Insert chuckle here). I follow her on Twitter @Teedramoses. Last night, I decided to ask her if she remembered being interviewed for Clutch. It was me who did the interview.

She tweeted back: @Alisha8151 Of course, I remember u, girl. Awww!!!

I believer her, too. When I interviewed her by phone, we talked forever. She's just a real cool chick. Classy.

So today, I'm sitting here, wishing I were sitting somewhere with a glass of Moscatto, vibing to Teedra because this song right here is it:

Or this one

Sigh. Happy Thursday!

Best Friends Forever?

2009-08-10T08:53:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the last Sunday our kids who were high school seniors would be at church. It's a group of them and they are all friends--girls and boys. Throughout the entire service, they were crying and hugging and woo woo woo. It was too emotional.

I thought about the fact that 10 years I was in the exact same place. Though I don't remember being that torn up about it, I did shed some tears. I remember sitting next to my best friend for Class Day (unofficial graduation program) crying as if someone was taking my right arm off. Picture: Celie and Nettie when Mister sent Nettie away. That's how we felt. And then we were at each other's houses the next day!

None of my close friends went to the same college as I did. We were leaving to start a new phase in our lives. And yes, things stayed the same. I still have the same friends I had 10 years ago. But things also change. People find their own identities and reinvent themselves. They become involved in other things that their old friends don't find interesting. And then some friends simply end their friendships for various reasons.

As I looked at those kids holding on to each other, I had a feeling that they were trying to hold on to the past, too. Yet, so ready for the future. I wonder how things will play for each of them. I pray for the best.

This Ish Has Got To Stop

2009-08-07T08:36:00.000-07:00

It's official.

I suck at blogging. What happened? Three years ago it was on and poppin. Remember this or this? I was in my Hey Day (I guess). Now....eh. Do you much how much has gone down or the things I've seen that would have made for hilarious stories? I'm not even talking about events and issues in the media. I mean, just in my life.

Let's see....I've passed up commentary on McNair, Nas/Kelis' drama, Obama's ratings dropping like flies, the he-she on Diddy's Making His Band, MORE Michael Jackson (RIP! Don't stop till you get enough!), Twitter ish and even this fool shooting up the gym. I even had a venting session about Black In America 2. Couldn't even finish it. What is that about?

Ugh.

Sometimes, I just don't have anything to say. I wonder if anybody's out there anymore. Rather, I don't have the energy or time to say it. The house is consuming me. I'm supposed to have a housewarming in a few weeks and the decorating is going nowhere fast. So that's where I am.

And there it is! I'll do better.

Hello Again

2009-07-10T07:41:00.000-07:00

Two weeks later, I'm still not back to 100% over this Michael Jackson thing. I'm at peace with it (I guess I have no choice?) and I'm happy we still have his music and videos (in his words: short films). He will live on through that and hopefully, hundreds of his songs will be released now. It worked for Pac and Big, so why not?

This weekend, I was able to take my mind off of MJ's death at the Essence Music Festival. As usual, it was fun, even though I missed out my Dulce de Leche cheesecake from Cheesecake Bistro. All was well and knowing people in high places always helps. A linesister and bestie worked as the producer's assistant, so thanks to her, I'm good on live music and free drinks atleast until the end of the year. I attended every concert (Bey and Anita Baker were awesome!)and hit up three superlounges, even though I hate I missed Janelle Monae!

I took a couple of pics with celebs including my all-time favorite sisters, Mary Mary! Erica even said she remembered doing the phone interview for Clutch. Took a pic with New Orleans' own, Ledisi. She was sweet as pie and dressed to kill for Bishop TD Jake's tribute.

While sipping on a concoction a college friend made up in VIP, I looked over and spotted Thelma from Good Times. Yes, I was a tad starstruck. Nevermind Lamann Rucker, standing not even two feet away. Thelma was my highlight. She was getting macked on by some young boy probably telling her he used to watch Good Times just to see her bellbottoms.

But THIS was the picture that I was most proud of......

Not the best picture of me, but so what? It's with the editor of Essence, Angela Burt-Murray! If you recall my Essence post from last year, I was thisclose to saying hello, but I punked out. Instead, I settled for a picture of her and the event producers on stage. I captioned the pic with "Angela Burt-Murray, my future boss." I guess you can say I'm moving on up in the world.

I finally had to chance to talk to her and I didn't even say the right things. I didn't tell her that supposedly a pitch had been presented to the editorial team. I just said, "I'm an aspiring writer and I've been pitching..." I don't even remember if I said I was pitching to Essence or not. Such a lamo. Anyway, she was incredibly sweet and said if she had time, she'd write a sequel to Vow.

Overall, the weekend was great and very tiring. Ran into some college who told me they still read this blog to keep up with me. That made me feel great. Can't wait to see what's next.

June 25, 2009

2009-06-26T21:25:00.000-07:00

I just don't know what to say...

I love you, Michael Jackson! The gift God gave you was and is still so awesome. I'm glad you're getting the rest you deserve.

Contributing Writers

2009-06-09T12:47:00.000-07:00

You see this magazine cover? Behind the cover (and almost 70 pages past it) is something that I wrote. About 130 words (65 a piece) with my full name in the byline in the first and my initials in the second one. This week started to be pretty dismal, but when my mom called to tell me my very own copy had come in the mail, it got better. Now all I need is the check. The byline and knowing that I've contributed to such a great magazine (this issue is pretty hot, btw.) are enough.

The blurbs are under UPTOWN Flavor, Smokin' Hot, featuring the best barbecue spots in major cities. You know they couldn't forget about the BBQ Capital, Memphis, Tenn.!

So that's it. My latest contribution to journalism (no matter how small).

Check out Aliya's latest blog and discussion on the fate of journalism and writers-to-be.

By the way, I'm on Twitter @Alisha8151.

Bye!

Random

2009-06-08T10:46:00.000-07:00

I just realized that everytime I decide to blog, I procrastinate because it seems like it takes so much out of me to write about what's going on. Therefore, I have decided to write super-short blogs about...whatever comes to mind. For example, right now I'm wondering why I came in to work today (other than being thankful that I have a job). I could so be chillaxin in my bed right now. Or how about I just left the country for my aunt's funeral yesterday. It was kinda sad, as it was unexpected, but I had fun being around family--no matter how awkward it was (Too much background to be shared).

My hair looks a mess (I blame Louisiana!). I look like I came straight outta the 60s. Eww. Saw the Unsung special on Minnie Riperton last night. It was pretty sad. I downloaded a few songs. I think Teedra Moses should portray her in a move or something. Check this one out: Le Fleur

Les Fleurs - Minnie Riperton

Ahem!

2009-05-28T11:46:00.000-07:00

Like a thief in the night, I appear! I'm back kids. That cliche' was so inappropriate as I am living in a house alone and I REALLY don't want a thief to come in the night. Not even if it's God himself. I ain't ready to go!

Yep, I after days of agonizing, waiting and praying (for patience), I am a homeowner. I'm up in that piece. I'm also still in my apartment. Well, my clothes are. It's a crime and a shame how many clothes and shoes I have. The walk-in closet at the house is already full. Time to go to Goodwill.

The first night I slept in the house, I was so tired, I didn't even bother being scared. I woke up and felt like I was in a hotel. Reality set it that the place was mine, I immediately broke out into a prayer of thanks. A few tears fell. Yeah, I'm just emotional like that.

Next up, tracking down the yard man because the grass needs to be cut badly. (I have good, pretty, green grass, too! Don't be jealous!) I can't let my nosy neighbors think I'm trifling.

Okay, I had to write this down so I can see it and actually do it.

As I'm awaiting a copy of UPTOWN's Summer issue with my little 60 word blurb and byline, I realized that I love to write. It is my passion, but I haven't been serious about it. I have been very successful over just two years in getting great clips from awesome publications, but I need to put some more work in.

I write electronically, but that does not make me tech savvy. I only use the computer for work and downloading music. So the task of creating a website has been last on the list. Yet, it's so necessary. Remember my Pitch Me! post on Aliya's blog? Better yet, remember this comment from an editor?

But the major error is referring clip viewing to MySpace. No, no, no, I can’t take that serious. MySpace is viewed as very juvenile. If you can’t set up a site of your own for clips than provide links or say you can furnish clips upon request, or make a section on your blog specifically for clip viewing. But the MySpace link seems low brow. If I bothered to look, I would be biased to say the least.

This is what I have now and I'm ashamed to say, but it hasn't even been updated in God's knows when. I'm about to delete my personal Myspace account, so surely I can't refer editors to THAT.

So...I'm working on a website. Seriously. A website is so much more, eh, official than a blogspot. I was inspired by Belle's new home and Jeannine Amber's site (Love the homepage pic--so much better than a boring headshot). Check out Danyel Smith's (EIC of Vibe)interactive memoir, Naked Cartwheels. Now that's hot.

It's time for me to step my game up.

Case of the Mondays

2009-05-11T10:48:00.000-07:00

I'm in an uncomfortable mood today. Don't know quite know how to explain it, so I'll just leave it there. My mind is moving at warp speed these days. I feel like I need another vacation, but there's no time for it. Summer is about to be busy, busy. Here's what's been going on:

1. I'm buying a house...like this week. Yes, yes, I stepped out on faith (after pre-approval) and signed a contract to buy a house. I love it! The only problem is it's taking a little longer than I thought to close the deal. Chalk it up to that impatient thing that I'm trying to work on. But also, attribute that to some of my uneasiness. Let's get it over, already! My apartment is a mess, I've been on the phone with the utility/cable/phone people all morning. I swear that I hate automated systems!!!

2. The time of the month (also referred to by my old college roommate as "Keisha") has me down, down, down. I need some relief. ASAP.

3. I went to Jazzfest last month and had a great time with my friends and linesisters. Everyone is so blessed in one way or another. It's like it's contagious.

4. Work is about to get crazy within the next month. I won't even go into details.

5. I'm trying desperately hard to save my money (atleast until I get paid on Friday) and not buy this hot pair of shoes that I saw in Macy's.

6. I had my cholesterol checked at a women's fair this weekend. It's 200. NOT GOOD. Pair that with my family history of heart failure and we've got a problem. I'm trying from this day forward to exercise and eat better. I guess skinny folks can't eat whatever they want.

7. I heart Drake. Maybe it's his connection to Memphis. Or the fact that he raps and sings. Maybe he's just hot. If I listen to So Far Gone one more time!!!

Signing out!

Umm, Yeah...

2009-04-22T08:41:00.000-07:00

I've been wanting to write something random for the longest, but I just haven't had the inspiration. I still don't, really, but here goes.

The Latest Developments

I am insane. You know the clinical definition of insanity, don't you? Doing the same thing over and over, yet expecting different results.

Yep, that was me a couple of weeks ago. Well, I wasn't actually expecting different results. My reaction to the situation was different, which is GREAT. My problem, moreso, is doing the same things over and over. Let's try something new to keep from getting into these situations.

Next week, I will log on to www.blackpeoplemeet.com. And actually pay the $10 to see the people. Yeah, I'll let you know how that turns out.

This weekend I'm off to the Boot finally. A brief stop in BR and then to the N.O. for Jazzfest. How is it possible that I lived there for five years and never attended? Weird. I'm so ready to have some fun and enjoy the warm weather. It's still cold here (to me). Can I wear my maxi dresses and sandals, please???

I'm on Twitter. I guess I'm still a rookie because I have not yet reaped all the benefits that these article suggest as a member. But I'll be damned if Diddy isn't twittering-est, inspirational, energetic dude in the world! He tweets like every minute. Gotta love it.

Damn, That Hurt!

2009-04-13T14:07:00.000-07:00

I'm supposed to be grading papers before I leave work at 5 p.m., but it ain't happening. Instead, I'm reading Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I said that I wouldn't buy it because it's enough literature and interviews and discussion boards out there to give me the whole shebang without ever hitting the bookstore. Well, I'm reading it, but I didn't buy it. My linesister sent it to me in PDF. Shout to the Grab Bag of Alpha Tau, Spring 2003 (We're six years old today.)!

I hate to admit it and I knew it was true, but to an unimportant-important person, I was what Steve calls, the "sports fish." It makes me cringe to know that that's probably how I put myself out there, hence the down-spiraling relationship---ahem, situation. Read this:

Doesn’t have any rules, requirements, respect for herself, or guidelines, and we men can pick up her scent a mile away. She’s the party girl who takes a sip of her Long Island iced tea or a
shot of her Patrón, then announces to her suitor that she just wants to “date and see how it goes,” and she’s the conservatively dressed woman at the office who is a master at networking, but clueless about how to approach men. She has no plans for any
ongoing relationships, is not expecting anything in particular from a man, and sets absolutely not nary one condition or restriction on anyone standing before her—she makes it very clear that she’s just along for whatever is getting ready to happen.

For sure, as soon as she lets a man know through words and action
that he can treat her just any old kind of way, he will do just
that. Men will stand in line to sign up for that, believe me.

I cringe at the thought that for so long, unbeknowst to me, I was giving him the green light to act a fool. Granted, I was young (and dumb), but the real reason a woman says these words is because it's preventing her from saying the real deal, "Hey, dude, I would like to pursue something real; therefore, I'm opening myself up to the possibility of something that works or something that can leave me hurt or disappointed."

Maybe that was just me though.

At this age, though, I have finally figured out that I have to be deliberate with this ish! I have decided to raise my standards and that starts today.

Go SL,It's Ya Birthday!!!

2009-04-10T14:39:00.000-07:00

Today is a good day. It's Good Friday and it's my birthday! Twenty-eight years old. That sounds weird, but here it is, nonetheless and I'm thankful for it. I hope it doesn't rain so I can go somewhere. I have treated myself to a hair appointment, massage and mani/pedi. I'm so relaxed right now. Ahhhhhh....

I hope your day is as blessed as mine is. Remember the sacrifice Jesus made today.

Ciao'

Manny Halley Covers Krave: My First Cover Story (Kinda)

2009-04-09T09:55:00.000-07:00

See that cover story for Manny Halley??? Guess who wrote it? Me! I had been impatiently waiting for this issue to drop, especially since I completed the assignment on New Year's Day. Something told me to check the website again today and lo, and behold, there it was. I've never had a cover story for a regional publication. How exciting! I can't wait to get the print version in my hands. I might frame it.

It's not my best writing, in my opinion, but I did work pretty hard on it. Manny was a trip to talk to. If I had to do this interview now, I'd have an entirely different set of questions for him, which would have made for a better read. It's amazing the difference a few months makes. Anyway the entire story is there, but it's not broken up into paragraphs. I like paragraphs. They flow better. Check it out here.

Saturday Thoughts

2009-03-28T13:59:00.000-07:00

It's Saturday afternoon. I usually don't blog on Saturdays. You know that, right? Well, since I'm under the dryer in the privacy of my own home, I might as well talk, um, type about some things. I skipped out on my standing appointment with LaTrisha, my beautician (did you catch the Dream reference??) to save some moolah. I'm listening to Miss Keri, Baby and watching Unfaithful on mute (I'm wasting energy, but I love that movie).

Topic of discussion: Candy Girls. I will be honest, if I could be in another profession for a day, my second choice to being a professional writer, of course, would be a video girl. I would love to see how "hard" it is to stand on a set in little to no clothing around other catty women and men who might possibly degrade me---then I would write about it and shop to a magazine. I can't hate the game or those who play it, but I'm wondering what will happen when the next stable of pretty, thick girls come around and they're knocked out of the game indefinitely---or forever. Ride the tide while it's high, I guess.

Just now I saw the episode about Brooke, the bombshell hustler of the vixen game, who was dumped by her unofficial/official boyfriend after she was seen out on a date with another guy. Some rapper/producer named Red Cafe'. Never heard of him. Anyway. It was so many things wrong with this scenario. (1) I'm sure the allure of the entertainment world is very exciting, but being that she's in that environment constantly, she was was a little excited to be going out with a "rap-per/pro-duc-er!" He sent flowers the day before or day of the date, which was very sweet. (2) He shows up for the date and she gets all prettied up and he has on a studded cap, a white tee and jeans sagging with his drawers showing. He stands up and says, "What's up? Let's do this." No hug, no walking around to greet her, no kiss on the cheek. Just "what's up??" like she was one of his boys. Ewww. Whatev....maybe it was just a turn off for me.

Terrika mentioned that at this age (not sure how old they are), you don't check the box that has yes or no for boyfriend/girlfriend status. You pretty much fall into a relationship if you begin to answer to someone and tell them your whereabouts. I can't argue with that one, but it's still dumb. That's how wires get crossed and people are hurt. I don't care what she or anyone else says, WE (women) need to know whether or not we're in a relationship.

Because of that very situation, Brooke goes out with Red Cafe ( I hate that name, by the way. It should be the name of the club, not a person)and her boyfriend/friend breaks up with her through a text after hearing about it from someone else. All of the beauty and hot body in the world doesn't make you exempt from getting the ax. Oh well, it happens. What's even crazier is Terrika comes in to console her and they keep going back and forth about "I mean, if I was his bitch and he was my man..." WHAT??? I know a woman in a relationship being called a bitch is old----Biggie rapped about it back in '94, but I will never, EVER refer to myself as anyone's BITCH. You're either a bitch or a woman. Pick one, but if that's what you relate to, then great.

Our women are going to hell in a handbasket.

Tough Love

2009-03-22T19:30:00.000-07:00

Ladies, if you haven't seen the show, watch it. It airs on VH1 on Sunday 10/9 Eastern. The premise of the show: Several women are coached on finding true love by a professional matchmaker who is pretty much cutthroat. I need him in my life, but since I can't afford him, the show will suffice.

From watching only two weeks of the show, I realize that all of my relationships, real and fake, have been completely dysfunctional and some of that is my fault. I'm in a drought more than I like because...I don't know how to date. I think I established that years ago, but now I have something to base it on. Let me bring you up to speed on the tips from "Tough Love."

1. When looking to meet guys, or at any time, look pleasant. SMILE.
2. Don't discuss these five issues on a first date: past relationships, religion, politics, finances and negative stuff. Although I've done it, I agree. I give this advice to my students for presentations. Atleast, if you present those issues, do it with ease.
3. Don't talk about your profession so much.
4. Texting should only on an "as needed" basis, until you are completely close/intimate with that person. Amen!!
5. When wearing slutty clothing, you will be treated as such: a slut. Period.
6. Eye contact is a good thing.
7. Sometimes we will miss our true love because of the tight lid we have on our criteria for a man. Example: If a women is in her mid/late thirties, it might be impossible to find a man who has never been married or doesn't have children. Also, don't expect to find a younger man, as he probably wants a younger woman, also.
8. Try not to give TMI (Too Much Information). Who wants to know immediately anyway?
9. Learn how to take a compliment. Example: If a guy compliments your new haircut, don't say, "Really? I hate it." Just simply say, "Thank you."

I can't remember anything else. These are just things I picked up on while watching. I haven't committed all of these dating crimes, but I most of them, I have. Shame. I was pretty aggravated about the fact that women have to jump through these hoops to "get a man." Didn't I just say that I was gonna stop reading and watching this stuff? We should be ourselves, right? Why follow all these rules. What happened to being real? Well, if being yourself doesn't get you anywhere...it's time for reinvention, I guess.

Thoughts For The Day

2009-03-19T07:31:00.000-07:00

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. Proverbs 3:5-6 (NLT)

My mother once told me (recently) that I was "like a ship without a sail." I thought she was being melodramatic, which she is known to be often. I was offended. I thought, how am I lost? I have a steady job, I don't float from city to city. Whenever I'm at a particular place in my life, I stay put until it has run its course.

Once again, Mama may be right. I dont' know what it is, but lately, I have not been happy with myself. Everything has been getting to me, from men to coworkers to my own thoughts. I'm mad, angry and just aggravated. A couple of days of that behavior is normal, but damn near three weeks. I don't know if I'm coming or going. What will I do with my life? So many people are telling me what they think I should do, but I still don't know. At first I thought it was because I'll be 28 soon. Then something else came to mind.

For the longest I have been thinking about everything I want to do--from simple birthday stuff to vacations and real life career stuff, etc. It's always been about me, me, me. Often I don't stop to ask God what does He want for me? Could that be the problem? Though I am not fasting anything during Lent, I have really tried to take an introspective look at myself---the good and the bad. I think I've found the bad. So, I've been asking for clarity in my life in ALL areas and for a spirit of doing rather just thinking. I want to HAPPY and CONTENT. I want to love and not lockdown, and smile rather than all of this frowning I've been doing lately. It's not me.

Yesterday I asked that He make plain whatever it is that I am missing. So in the meantime, I'm just waiting. Whew, I feel better already.

Have a wonderful day.

The Menstrual Meter

2009-03-12T08:57:00.000-07:00

Today the Menstrual Meter is at a high rate. I'm irritable. Like totally. These days I feel like I'm looking for something to bitch about. That's not good and very out of character for me. Let's start with the workplace, shall we? Everything's going smoothly except some people always want to buck the system, you know? There's a certain way of doing things, so just do it that way. Moving on....

This weekend I was off the charts with the attitude. The cause of my frustration: PMS and men (see a pattern, here?). I called my guy BFF (that's so funny to me!) to vent and you know what he said? "You should go out." That probably made me even madder than what I was. Sometimes this advice can be useful, but I had already been out. On top of that the BFF gives me the same three pieces of advice: (1) You should wild out and get some action, (2) You gotta keep it playa, mane and (3) You gotta shake back--it'll be alright. I established on last night that 35 percent of the time, his advice is irrelevant to my situation and it sucks. He agrees, "True...I never said it would work, but it always works for me." Womp womp!

"You make bad choices in men. You don't know how to pick em."
-Poetic Justice

I'm still getting these cookie-cutter texts from Mr. DC. Why? Does that mean he really wants to talk to me or he really wants to text me? LMAO. I just knew after last week, I wouldn't hear (read)anything from him again. I was clearly wrong. You (as in the reader) know how I feel about text messaging. I thought about calling him and saying, "Hey, this is why I don't respond to you anymore. (Begin rant)." I could atleast do that because men aren't mind-readers, right? He doesn't know I don't do the TMs. I really did think about it and decided against it because even though he doesn't know how I feel about that, he could atleast pick up the phone to speak to me. Hell, we're over 1,000 miles away from each other, not in the same city.

Actually, it doesn't matter either way. I can't teach grown ass men what to do and what not to do. That's what you have your Mama for.

I got a text from Mr. Blue Collar (he actually has phone conversations, so it's a balance). He's very sweet, but I was once again igged by the fact that he's on this, "stop by and holler at you" thing. Not hot. Who am I, your next door neighbor? On two occasions I have mentioned meeting somewhere for drinks or something light. Something always comes up. Get the ___ out of here. I really don't want to find something to complain about, but this would be it. I have GOT to do better. This makes me want to go on hiatus and I was just on one. Hell, I'm always on a hiatus.

But then again, it could be the Menstrual Meter talking.

Man Recipe

2009-02-25T09:43:00.000-08:00

I've gone through my morning ritual of reading my blogs. Not one, not two, but three of regs had something to do with relationships. I'm so sick of this ish! If I read one more email, blog, book, article about how to get, keep, maintain, sex, marry a man, I'll scream!!! Yes, I do this to myself--immersing myself in the internet and media. There's always a story on what to do to please a man: cook, play hard to get, be forthcoming, but not too much, have sex with him if you want, but don't do it too soon. Yadda, yadda, yadda.

Geez, it's ridiculous! We've become afraid to be ourselves. We're so busy wondering if we're wifey material, the jump-off or the peice on the side. We haven't even taken the time to be ourselves. How do I know? Because I've done it. I am the QUEEN of playing hard to get, not calling, getting back at and "keeping it playa" (compliments of my Houstonian BFF). Where has it gotten me? Nowhere fast! While I'm seen as a mystery and guys do have this admiration for The Chase, the shit gets old. Hell, I'm tired of doing it.

Let's note that I'm not in (or anything related to) a relationship, so I'm on chill mode. But reflecting on past situations, I have played MAJOR games. How dumb. The most basic rules of men and women don't and probably won't ever change. I think I'm safe in saying that women even two decades ago were fairing a lot better than us now when there were less self help books and persons who profit off of our guilibility (is that a word?). I don't see literature for men on how to get a woman, etc. Go figure. Maybe it's true that it's a man's world (Damn you, James Brown, but rest in peace!).

The fact is that we will never think or act like men and vice versa. What we should do is use common sense. Unfortunately, it's hard to find when matters of the heart are concerned.

I Miss The Boot!

2009-02-23T11:49:00.000-08:00

Yep, I do! There was a time when I thought I'd never say that (circa 2004, when I was in grad school working a dead-in job).

So, if you have ever lived in Lousiana and went to Southern University, specifically, you might be subconsciously trained to get in a Louisiana state of mind around the following times:

-Homecoming
-Bayou Classic
-Mardi Gras
-Essence Music Festival

Today is Lundi Gras, the day before Mardi Gras. How I took these things for granted while I was there! Being out of school or off of work for Mardi Gras break, being able to run to New Orleans, even for a quick minute to catch a parade or just to hit the streets. King Cake, Ms. Greta's crawfish etoufee. Daiquiri shops. Yummy!

Today, I am officially missing Louisiana. It's a part of me (literally-my daddy's from there). I am wishing I could be there among all of the people, just wanting to have a good time. Catching beads, hoping I get the big pearls!

Carefree.

In the meantime, I'm streaming radio stations in BR and N.O. to catch a little bit of that feeling.

Rebirth Brass Band - Keep That Body Shaking -

Pitch and Bat

2009-02-19T10:18:00.000-08:00

The summer after my sophomore year in college, I interned at a metro newspaper in a nine-week program. The first four weeks, I was a writer's assistant, working on spreadsheets, collecting information for the obituary (deathly boring, no pun intended) and writing two and three-line copy for the weekend dining and gardening events sections.

The last five weeks, I was officially a reporter. I reported and wrote weekly stories that were featured in a special section of the paper. There were several other interns, but I started two weeks after a girl I'll call Tara. Tara was the first one to be at the beck and call of the city editor, Mr. Brown, also known as Jerome. He was stocky black guy with glasses that he wore on the tip of his nose. He was a man of few words. He gave you your assignment and you were off.

Sitting at my desk in the newsroom (still an assistant) I noticed Tara at Mr. Brown's desk. Whatever he was saying was not to Tara's liking. Before I knew it, she had run around the photo editor's desk, made a beeline for the hallway (the interns' refuge). She was in tears. She later told me at lunch that Mr. Brown was cut-throat with his edits. He even told her she might possibly be going into the wrong profession. How could that be? She'd gotten accepted into the program over hundreds others, right? She warned me that he was "terrible" and I should be afraid.

Within the next two weeks, I'd gotten my first assignment, a story about a postman who won some prestigious award for something (damn shame that I can't remember). I drove to the suburbs to meet him on his route. I rushed back to the newsroom to write the story. Within an hour, I was standing behind Mr. Brown at his desk as he pulled my story up. I didn't see a lot of edits at all. A few minor things. He actually liked it. I was in the clear and the next Wednesday, my story (complete with a pic of the postman) was there--in color. Wowww.

What's Tara's deal, I wondered. Ole' Romie Rome wasn't that bad.

Weeks later, another editor (who sat in for Mr. Brown during an illness) ripped my story in two. His writing style was the exact opposite of Mr. Brown's. When I was younger, I despised any criticism of me. Any. Even if it was constructive. But I learned to grow a tougher skin and actually listen to some people because hey, they might be on to something.

In the writing game there are standard rules. I don't know all of them now. Everyone's writing style is different, as are their ways of thinking. Because of that, I'm not afraid of the red pen--or the editor's notes in all caps. How will I get better?

I've been following Aliya S. King's blog since I found it two weeks ago. She has a great section called Pitch Me!. I did. Here's what she and other great editors/writers had to say:

http://aliyasking.wordpress.com/2009/02/19/pitch-me-2/

Shout to you, Aliya and the Secret Society. And the anonymous editor.

Be Careful What You Ask For

2009-02-19T09:04:00.000-08:00

So, I neglected to tell you that last week I cried in the car. Yes, this one of my favorite lines from Friday, but I mean it...literally. Why, you ask? Well, let's just say that what Uncle Sam wants, Uncle Sam gets. I'd just said that I was going to stop taking so many assignments from this magazine editor because I thouht it was sapping my creativity (LOL). I spoke too soon. I'm all for it now, as I need the moolah (not that I didn't before). I used to think she was just piling things on my plate because of lack of staff or just being plain pushy. (Me: "Does she want me to write the entire magazine?") Then I read Aliya's comment on her latest post:

When I was editing at The Source, I did call certain writers over and over for certain sections. But not because we were friends. It was because they were reliable, fast and gave me clean copy. It’s the grunt work: the news stories, the front of the book pieces that pay little, the heavily researched pieces, THOSE stories are not being saved for anyone’s friends. And those pieces are the pieces that help you become a go-to writer for the other stuff.

Maybe that's the deal? I hope so.

Womp Womp Day

2009-02-18T09:29:00.000-08:00

Today is a Womp Womp Day. Maybe it's the fact that I practiced for an annual Black History program which consisted of 2.5 hours of African dance and step, with little to no breaks in between. Maybe it's the fact that the weather here is crazy. Hot, then bone-chilling cold like yesterday. Maybe it's because I trekked through that cold and rain yesterday for a class of mentally-exhausting students. Whatever the case, today is...Womp Womp.

I have a few things to do, yet my body and my mind is tired. There's so much I should/could be thinking about. Right now, I'd rather just sit here. An idle mind is never good, so I decided...to write.

But, I need to read more. When can I find the time? For someone who wants so desperately to in a magazine, I sure do have a hard time buying one if I'm not already subscribed. A mag can hit you up for a good $4-$5. Just cheap.

I've just gotten word that I have tix to see Mary Mary perform at the Grizzlies game this Friday. I love them. I wish I could meet them so I can tell them, "Hey, I'm the one you talked to for that phone interview for Clutch." Like they care. Oh well. Off to try to actually DO something today.

Speaking of Love Day

2009-02-12T11:30:00.001-08:00

I'm officially off of my soapbox (for now) about Black History Month. Let's focus on Love Day. This is not a male-bashing post. Nor is it a self-empowerment, independent woman post either. This year, I have no choice but to face Valentine's Day head-on. Last year, I was at All-Star about to be knocked off my game again on the 14th. I was more concerned with the weather and what I was going to wear to go out than I was Valentine's Day. This year, however, I'm here. On Saturday, I'll be working, practicing for a Black History production and maybe even doing some social work on the side. I am single and so far, no one's hinted at a date.

Nevertheless, I'm so good. I've planned to get a pedicure. Not because that's my way of pampering myself because I don't have a man to do it. Simply put, my feet are a fool. Straight flour-kicking all day, ya heard me? I'm sticking with that plan. Maybe grab a bottle of wine. I honestly don't have anything planned and despite guys' terrible attempts to inquire my plans with other guys, I'm going on as I would any other Saturday.

BUT, if someone wanted to show me their love or care, I would suggest the following:

A deep-dish pepperoni piza from Gino's East in Chicago (it has to be ordered and shipped)
A dulce de leche cheesecake with pralines from Cheesecake Bistro in New Orleans
A GREAT chilled bottle of Riesling
A concert featuring chill artists
A massage (at Massage Envy)

Funny how most of those have to do with food. Hey, the way to my heart is through my stomach. I hope that anyone reading this has a WONDERFUL holiday. If you're still out of ideas to try, whether you're single or booed up, use these tips...written by me!

http://clutchmagonline.com/lifeculture/feature/something-new-the-valentine%e2%80%99s-day-edition/

Valentine's Day vs. Black History

2009-02-12T10:53:00.000-08:00

Last week, my status on Facebook said something like this: "Southern_Lady thinks the man uses Valentine's Day to overshadow Black History Month." It got a lot of "interesting", "never thought about it that way" "So true!" and "You ain't never lied!"

I was serious when I wrote that. I also added that yes, I know V-Day has been in existence lonnnggg before BHM. I also know that LOVE is universal. It applies to all people, not just black folks. Maybe that's why I was drowned in a sea of pink and red when I walked into Wal-Mart the other day, but couldn't FIND anything pertaining to Black history besides the thousands of specially-published Obama magazines and posters (I'm all for this, of course!). But still.....

When I was a little girl, you always knew it was Black History Month. Granted, I attended an all-black elementary and junior high school (well, we were the majority there), there were always programs, posters, little unknown facts about us. Now, I gets nothing. Of course, my supervisors aren't going to quote Malcolm X and Marcus Garvey before they open or conclude the weekly staff meeting, but can I atleast get a showing of "Eyes on the Prize" on PBS?

Nope.

As an adult, it's my responsiblity to educate myself. I can no longer depend on my teachers or the Black History Month Committte to tell me the inventions by Black folks, or the importance of HBCUs. It's up to me, especially if I have children. I attended a Kwanzaa event for teens in December and they barely knew the Black National Anthem. I couldn't believe it. By now, a lot of people are thinking that our work as a race is done. President Obama has taken us to the mountaintop, right? WRONG. As great of a feat as it is, it doesn't overshadow all of the other things we've achieved. Not by far.

I think that's the end of my vent.

Wait, read this comment from a reader and tell me how you feel. It's taken from this story: http://www.commercialappeal.com/news/2009/feb/08/debating-future-of-history/

'No some races do not have a month to celebrate their history but they got a better start to improve their lives.'

What BS...There are multitudes upon multitudes of immigrants who have come to America's shores seeking opportunity and gaining riches. They had no government help, no media lovefest over their 'victim' status, no one at all to help them.

Instead, they took fair advantage of the opportunities this country has historically offered to everyone who comes to its shores.
No it wasn't always easy or fair. Outsiders always have to fight harder to succeed. Just the same as if I went to another country and decided to live there and work there and build a business.
No one would give a rat's rear end who I was or where I came from.

But somehow blacks who have not had to go anywhere but home from the hospital seek special treatment because of 'history'.

They are not outsiders, not foreigners, not aliens from another planet and yet many blacks have been unable and unwillingly to assimiliate and become 'Americans'.

They refuse to take adavantage of free education, free healthcare, (available to othe very poor only) and the other amenities of life paid for by those who WORK. They see these as not stepping stones meant to provide help and relief until they can better their lives by working hard and taking adavantage of the American system that works very well for others, regardless of skin color or ethnic background. Instead, they view these helps as the foundation upon which they can live their lives. Always in need, dependant, victims, etc..

Black history month is an insult to the many people groups who never get honored and don't need honoring to achieve. I've had it with calling up Kroger's pharmacy and having to listen to some poor pitiful racist story about some black who merely worked hard for what they got. Others do this all day long and there's no pat on the back, much less a month dedicated to their group's achievements.

Proof blacks have arrived is that the most stupid, unqualified, unprepared, inexperienced presidential candidate in history was elected President all because of his skin color.
And he's well on the way to destroying the American way of life that gave him the very opportunity in the first place and will without a doubt go down as the worst President, the worst Black President in history.

It has truly been black history year. Enough is enough. Start your own country if you still aren't happy!

I Don't Usually Do This, But....

2009-02-09T12:53:00.000-08:00

I wrote this awhile back. Who carries jealousy better?...

New Year’s Eve is supposed to be the pathway that leads you into a new space in time, hopefully with new things just around the corner. For some it is a time to reflect on the past 364 days and look ahead to the next 365. It is a chance to find crooked places and lay them straight.

Others take another approach though: Keep the party going because nothing needs to be changed.

Back in high school, as a lowly sophomore (our high schools were only 10th-12th grade then), I bonded with several seniors whom I took electives with. Looking back on it, there was no real difference between us sophomores, who were affectionately called “Slops” and them. Maybe a driver’s license, college recruiter or two, but that’s it. Honestly, we did the same things: mock our teachers, rush to finish homework before class started and complain about extensive project assignments.

One of the seniors I absolutely adored was a guy named Terrell who I took World Geography with. I never liked him in a romantic way. What I loved about him was he had the same silly sense of humor as I did (and still have). Our class time was spent cracking on our teacher and discussing my favorite subject: Martin (before Tisha Campbell left the show). We could always count on each other for laughs and answers to blank take-home quizzes.

By the end of the year, I was sad to see him and select few graduate and leave. I think I even signed his senior book even though I wasn’t a senior. The Christmas break during my freshman year in college, I ran into Terrell at a party. Like old times, we chatted each other up laughed until tears welled in our eyes. He’d dropped his meanie girlfriend he’d had since high school, but was in yet another relationship. We exchanged numbers to keep in touch. Cell phones weren’t the norm then, so of course, I lost the paper it was written on. Needless to say, we never kept contact and as they say, life goes on.

Fast forward to New Year’s Eve of 2008, nearly ten years later. My bestie and I were doing it up for the holiday and her birthday at a party in Miami (a long way from home). Just after the clock struck 12, I felt someone staring at me. I turned, and lo and behold, who did I see? It was none other than my long-lost schoolmate, Terrell. It was as random as could be, so I’m sure the look on my face mirrored his. Shock.

He immediately walked over and gave me a hug. “Oh.My.God. It’s been like….forever since I’ve seen you,” he said.

“I know! Oh wow. I can’t believe it either,” I say. I’m a sucker for nostalgia, so I know I was beaming.

“I live here now. Are you here, too?”

“I’m living at home now, “I said. We were still in awe of the random meeting, clearly.

What college did you end up going to?” he asked.

It was hella noisy, so he leaned in to hear me. “So—“

Before I could finish my reply, I was cut off by a woman reaching through the small crowd of people standing next to us. She pushed through them, grabbed Terrell’s arm and pulled him away, causing him to stumble and almost spill his cocktail on my friend. The look on her face said one of two of things: “My man knows you, but I’m sorry, I don’t, so beat it!” or “Terrell, bring your ass on NOW!” Either way, it wasn’t flattering for any party involved. In fact, it was downright embarrassing.

I immediately thought of Martin’s joke about the “crazy-deranged” woman in his first stand-up movie, U So Crazy (my all-time favorite!). “Miss Thank You, Have a Nice Day, your job is to check coats…Check ‘em, bitch!”

Everything happened so fast, I didn’t even realize he was with a woman.I kind of just stood there in disbelief for a minute over the mini-fiasco. I’m non-confrontational, I wasn’t so sure of the dynamic or history of their relationship and refused keep the drama that she created going because of her immaturity, so I backed off. They immediately got into a heated argument. I couldn’t hear it, but I definitely saw hand gestures, rolling necks and eyes and intense looks. Terrell was not a happy camper. He never came back over to say goodbye or even apologize for his girl’s behavior. I can’t say I expected him to either. He was obviously used to her antics, and it just wasn’t worth it. As I remember, his girlfriend in high school held a tight rein, as well. I guess that’s what he likes, so I love it.

Later that night, Terrell walked into the second ballroom for drinks and he still had this melancholy look on his face. My initial attitude about the girlfriend’s “snatch-up” had gone from disgust to pity. How sorry I felt for Terrell and her. If that show was a result of her insecurity or mistrust in him, they both had a long road of ahead of them.

What a way to bring in the New Year. Keep the party going, I guess.

Editor's Note: I told an old mutual friend of ours (myself and Terrell) about the incident and she had all reason to believe that the girlfriend was suspicious of him because he was the "Infidelity King" in high school and college. Who knew??

3:45 Inspiration

2009-02-03T13:39:00.001-08:00

I'm inspired all over again.

I read blogs. Like tons of them. It's possible that I come across atleast two new ones every week that are of note and value to me. Or maybe they're just plain entertaining. I lurk. Yep, sure do! Some bloggers don't like, but until you have make yours invitiation only, I'm lurking. I don't consider it that. I see it as seeing what your opinions and thoughts are.

Today, I found Aliya S. King's blog. It may not mean much to you, but as an aspiring writer, I think it's second nature to have a mental rolodex of great writers who have great stories in great magazines. Ms. King is one of those writers. I remember seeing her name on stories in all of the hot publications: Vibe, The Source, Upscale, etc.

There's nothing better than reading a regular blog from an established writer. She has great posts on her journey in journalism. Like this one. If this isn't inspiration to writers, I don't know what is.

Gotta keep on pushin'!

Random Stuff

2009-01-29T14:26:00.000-08:00

So many things have been going through my mind lately. For example:

Sometimes watching Alexyss Tylor videos is a gift and a curse. After watching one last night, I pondering whether or not I had ever been a "trick-ass bitch" before. You know 'Lexyss is raw to the core! LMAO

I often think about what I want my wedding dance song to be. Right now it's LTD's Love Ballad. Whatchu know bout that old school?

It's about to get really, really hectic for me for the next two months. I refuse to be stressed out like I was last year.

My 52-year-old second cousin, who's like my uncle, sent me a bangin' playlist today! EWF, Maze, Lauryn, Anita and Silk. Who gave him that?

I need to call my brother back. But he's so dry on the phone.....BORING

I'm excited about Essence Music Festival this year. I just realized that I didn't Maze on the artist lineup. Don't play with my emotions.

Still trying to get to the beach though.

I'm proud of all of the successful, determined friends who I surround myself with.

My granny has pneumonia. I hope and PRAY she gets well soon.

I'm ready to go home and relax, but I have class!

I think I'm a little too anxious to do my taxes this year. I don't know why...I never get a major refund. I hope I don't end up owing Uncle Sam. If I get anything back, I'll be grateful.

I'm thinking of story ideas to pitch to editors.

What makes you a better writer? Reading! So, I'm going to attempt to buy more magazines of all genres to get my juices flowing. (Glamour, Essence, Marie Claire, GQ)

I still need to be applying to jobs. And saving. That last one is not a problem really.

It's time for me to move my care my extended stay at work.

Bye

That Walk

2009-01-26T12:24:00.000-08:00

Before I even knew I was going to Washington, DC to witness the swearing-in of our new President, I knew I would be an emotional basket case wherever I was. Seeing as how I cried a trail of tears from my living room to my bathroom to my kitchen, back to my living room on November 4, 2008, I could pretty much guess that I'd be a mess when it became official.

Standing outside among millions of people for the Inauguration, I can't deny that I was more fixated on the guy's elbow in my back and the woman with the distracting pon-pom hat than I was the ceremony itself. Every two minutes or so, I caught an excellent view of the jumbo tron, but the audio wasn't working on my side. My fingers and toes were numb and I kept fooling with my scarf because it kept falling from my face. It wasn't a comfortable situation. Not at all like laying on my sofa with a glass of Riesling and a slice of cheesecake. (That was my initial plan.)

From the Pre-Inaugural Concert on Sunday to the screen hanging in China Town, every time anyone in the Obama family was shown on camera, the crowd went wild. I was no exception either. Leading up the ceremony cameras were on Diddy, Bey and Jay and countless others as they walked to their seats to get a glimpse of history. After awhile, I'd grown tired of the screaming (except for Malia and Sasha). My throat was hurting and the scarf covering my mouth and nose muffled my cheers anyway.

Then it happened.

Barack Obama was walking down the hallway of the Lincoln Memorial.

Did you see That Walk??????

Maybe I can paint the picture for you. He was walking. Straight ahead. A certain stride in his step. Shoulders back. Head up. Full of pride. Full of accomplishment. A Black man. Yeah, I said it.

Damn. Did you see it?

Even more than that, did you feel it? I felt like I was about to be President.

The look on his face was pleasant. Yet unstoppable. Unbeatable. As my Mama would always say, "Some people, you can just see the God in them." No, I am not saying he is God. He is a man. Only God is the Messiah. But I do believe He uses people to do things and inspire people. Perhaps, Mr. President is one wise enough to know when he is being used for a higher purpose. Just maybe that's what that walk was about.

At that moment, I knew that all of the fanfare and star-studded hoopla wasn't for nothing. It was for something real.

In the cold, at that one specific moment...not when he placed his hand on Lincoln's Bible, not when he said, 'So, help me, God', but with that walk....a stream of tears rolled from my eyes. I didn't even wipe them away.

I will never forget that walk.

Finally Posting

2009-01-26T09:18:00.000-08:00

I'm backkkkk!! Yeah, so since I actually have folks who follow this blog, I guess it would be nice if I actually posted every once and a while. So here goes....

I have been to the District of Columbia for what else? The Inauguration of the 44th President of the United States, Barack Hussein (I'm not afraid to type it!) Obama. I'm sure you're still being bombarded with pics on Facebook, so I'll spare you. Instead, I'll give you a run-down of my trip with a couple of my besties/LS's to the DMV.

Things I Learned While In D.C.

1. We are too damned old to be getting in the car with strangers. Yes, we took a joyride with two guys who we didn't even know, that consisted of making the block around Love maybe four times, clowning party-goers and listening to the breakdown of what a "Bama" is.
2. Apparently, I am country. Or rather, I speak with a twang that EVERYONE notices. I argued with everyone who called me "country". Then I turned my "accent" into high-gear. They talked about it, but they loved it. Ask Officer Cosey!
3. Even during Inauguration, I refuse to pay $80 general admission to a club to see T.I. and Jeezy. I could see them for $40 with an opening act (even if is just Gucci Mane).
4. Taxicab drivers in the DMV do not know their way around. I should not have to give the driver directions when he has a GPS in the car.
5. Public transportation is that ish, but I think I would still need a car. I loved it in NYC, but not as much in DC. The stations were much bigger and CLEANER.
6. None of the escalators in the metro stations worked. Too many people, maybe? I walked up the longest escalator ever in DuPont Circle.
7. People in the DMV say "murried" for "married" and so on. But I'm the one who's country?
8. DC cold and Memphis cold are DIFFERENT. Period.
9. Obama is a REAL rockstar. And he's REALLY President. Have you seen that swag???
10. Howard University is beautiful, but it's still not Southern. I'm so biased. Maybe I should have gone in the day to appreciate its beauty and splendor.
11. The party we went to was nice. The DJ? So-so. I'm not sure if he was wack for GP or because we were "up North". Not sure, what I was looking for, but I definitely needed something recent. And Lil' Jon's "Bia Bia" wasn't getting it.
12. People will make a hustle out of anything, especially Obama. I have seen Obama hot sauce, headscarves, handwarmers and tennis shoes, all in the name of That Dude. Come on, people!

Two for Tuesdays (Again)

2009-01-15T09:08:00.000-08:00

I neglected to post on Founder's Day (of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc.--duh!), but simply put, I was too busy. So.....Ooooooooo-ooooooop!

Since I won't be here for the chapter's official celebration, I took it upon myself to celebrate with sorors unofficially by going out....on a Tuesday. Never again! I had a great time, but let me tell you, if you didn't know hood and country don't mix.

1. I saw several men and women who knew me but I: (a) Don't really think I knew them or (b) If I did, I couldn't remember from where and was too ashamed to ask. This one guy talked to me all night...no clue as to how I know him. Another guy who was BIG as hell (in stature) kept telling me he would buy me "whatever I like". Just name it. Ewww! And I hugged this chick like we shot marbles together in the third grade....Again, no clue.

2. The DJ kept saying that we were celebrating 26 years, instead of 96. I gave him a pass because I knew he didn't go to college. No offense.

3. I thought you couldn't smoke in clubs/bars anymore. Yet, when this guy came close to me, I knew he JUST put the blunt down two seconds before he saw me. Then as I was changing clothes at home, I got a whiff of my shirt. Straight Kools and Camels. Yuck!

4. I am not 21 or 24, for that matter, anymore! I have a two-hour max time limit in the club. How I ever was the first one there and the last one to close it out all those years is beyond me! I just don't have the stamina anymore. It has to be a bangin'-ass party!

5. If you have linesisters (or LBs), there's nothing like them. Tear.

6. The next morning at work, I wanted to pull my eyelashes out hair by hair. I was SO sleepy!

7. Finally, I know that God sees all. And just when you think you're getting over, He shows you. Like, saying, "Gotcha!!" from the heavens. There was a free time for the club before 8 p.m. After, cover is $10. I had my debit card ready to swipe when the guy tells me to pay at the bar because the debit machine was....you guessed it---broken. As soon I walked through the threshold, I clearly kept walking. How would he know whether or not I paid? It was packed. Ballin' on a budget. I continued to enjoy my evening of Willie Hutch, Womack & Womack and Jamie Foxx (it was Grown Folks night). Leaving out, I told my soror that the evening was worth it especially because it ended up being Free.99.

I walked to my car and noticed two fliers on my windshield. Go figure. Just as I was about to let them fly into the air, I noticed that one of them was not a flyer, but a TICKET for $20. I parked in a No Parking zone. Dammit! I couldn't even be mad though.

Cheaters never win.

Victoria's Secret Adds HBCUs to Pink Collegiate Line

2009-01-12T09:42:00.000-08:00

Alright, it's about time. This note is so not that serious, but it's something I've been thinking about. Ladies, we all love our Pink by VS, right? It's cute and comfortable and on sale, most of the time. I was estatic to find out that they were releasing a collegiate line for Pink. I found an article on Black Enterprise.com about the line and some controversy surrounding it. A student from Howard University, Amelia Reid, wrote in to VS because on HBCUs were included in the first round of schools represented in the apparel--only PWIs. Texas A&M, LSU, UT---all there. Where are the HBCUs?

http://www.blackenterprise.com/lifestyle/lifestyle-news/2008/07/24/victorias-secret-pink-adds-hbcu-flair/

Her inquiry and hard work paid off because now HBCUs are represented. Southern University is included in the first round of apparel (because we're the BEST!). There are three other HBCUs: FAMU, NCA&T and Howard. See here.

Here's the issue: Should I run out and buy up this stuff (it's really cute) because now VS decided (as an afterthought) to add my beloved SU OR should I patronize the CollegeCribs and Top Choices (is that still open?), which are Black-owned? Does it really matter? Am I being too sensitive? Will you buy (if your school becomes available)?

I think this was an EXCELLENT marketing/sales strategy, but poor public relations effort on VS's part. They saved themselves quickly. I do think, though, it will get tons of sales, due to accessibility and familiarity. Kudos to Ms. Reid for making things happen.

Resolutions and Goals

2009-01-08T09:16:00.001-08:00

Today, I am uninspired. I just can't get into this groove of work. I have been sleeping atleast six to seven hours a night, but in the morning I'm just done. I didn't get out of the bed until 7:15. Not good. I was so empowered to make some real changes as far as my 2009 goals go. I wrote them in my journal, along with a prayer to God before I left for Atlanta (since I would be out for NYE). I guess I could list them here for more affirmation:

Write more, but less. I mean take more challenging writing assignments. All of these small assignments (though I'm truly grateful for them) are draining my creativity, I think. Think: quality, not quantity.

Exercise. I'm so out of shape! For a slim girl, I need an inhaler after jogging five feet. This has to be a cause of my sapped energy. Now when am I going to find the time?

Become more active in church. One upon a time, anytime someone would call me, I would be at church doing something. My work schedule has caused me to fall back. I feel like I've the kids down a little. I wasn't consistent in my efforts. I'd like to restore that faith they had in me.

Get my morning regime in order. For forever, my morning routine has consisted of snoozing my alarm 3+ times, rolling out of bed (and maybe getting back in), rushing to find something to wear, cooking breakfast and running out of the door. I'm always atleast 15-20 minutes late for work unless I have a class. Why? Because I'm not a good preparer. I'd rather hop in the bed than prepare my lunch and lay out my clothes for the next day.

Find contentment. I know where my contentment is...in Jesus! Duh! But sometimes, I'm not content. It come from comparing myself to others, comparing myself to where I thought I would be, etc. It's just not healthy, especially when I know I'm blessed beyond measure. Even when I don't have the things I want, I'm still blessed. I asked God to help me be the person He wants me be. And more importantly, help me not to fight it if I think it's not what I want. What do I know anyway?

Socialize more. If you know me, you know I've been to my fair share of clubs, bars, etc. I'm sure my name is in the Clubbin' Hall of Fame in Baton Rouge. That's not what I mean. I mean doing other non-club things, networking and meeting NEW people. I'm active in my DST chapter, but I'm not as connected as I think I should be. I'm working on that.

Continue to be a good steward over my money, but save more. I think I've done a good job with the earnings I've been blessed with. I believe that's why I am blessed more. Of course, I'll continue to tithe everything I get, but I need to save a little more. I do a good job, but I blew a LOT of money in 2008. I might want to start saving up a for home down payment.

Try to attend Bible Study, atleast on a semi-regular basis. My work schedule always changes, so it's hard to stay consistent. Sometimes, Sunday morning just isn't enough.

I think that's it. There are a few others that I left off purposely. Wish me luck!

Happy New Year!

2009-01-06T11:27:00.000-08:00

Um, yeah, it's six days into the new year, but if I had a brand new car even a month, I'd probably still it was new, so there you go. Happy New Year!

I almost didn't post today, but something just led me to. First off, let me say that I officially am ready to get back into public relations/communications. It's not that I don't like my current job. I dreaded going to my first class today, but I had such a good time. However, this has been on my mind for a minute. I've been looking for communications jobs. Ironically, my new boss asked me to write a feature story on a program to submit to media outlets. She mentioned eventually phasing the communications duties out to me since that's my background area. If that happens within the year, that would be great. I need something on my resume that's current, not two years old.

What made the light bulb go was looking in the paper today at the ongoing special they have: Go To the Inauguration. There are daily profiles of individuals and families who are traveling to DC, how they're going, why, etc. The profile today was on a young communications specialist. Black, 26 and traveling with her college friends to DC. I thought, "Damn, that should have been me!" Not being in the paper (I was featured last week), but having the job as communications specialist. It just kinda struck me. When I think about how much work I did in my previous job, I know I can take on any position. So there.

Moving right along....

So far, I've been doing the little small things that I said I would do for the New Year. I spent New Year's Eve and Atlanta and had the best time. I won't bore you and tell you that I have the moving bug AGAIN. I know, I know, every time I visit another city, the bug bites me. Actually the last few times, I went to Atlanta, I thought it was overrated. Where I move to is not the point, so much as moving somewhere else, period. Get it? I just feel like I need to leave.

Is this city really done with or is it just me? Is it possible to move away and have the same empty feeling? Yes, it is, so I won't be hasty with the moving stuff. Rather, I'll ask God to guide me where I need to go and if it's still here, so be it. Whatever is keeping me from experiencing whatever I think I should, I ask Him to take it away.

Over the Christmas break, I passed up the chance to go to my high school class's Christmas party because I didn't have anyone to go with. On top of that, I felt sick. Even so, how crazy is that? I know damn near everybody. What was that fear about? Now I'm looking at pics on Facebook and I see the fun I missed out on.

It seems like everybody has their own thing. Their own significant others, friends, hobbies and I seemed to be lacking in some of those areas. I don't know. I guess I was just feeling a little indifferent.

Today, I feel rejuvenated and ready to get things done. I am inspired again. Take a look at Belle's latest post.

Be empowered!

Quote of the Day

2008-12-15T11:08:00.000-08:00

"If you have to read into anything a man does, you are making excuses. Men are simple. They only get complicated when they aren't into you" - Naila

-Taken from Teej's blog.

Rain

2008-12-09T08:31:00.000-08:00

It's raining outside. If you were here, you'd probably ask what the big deal was because it's been raining since 7 a.m. Only this time, the rain is pouring down. Like a white sheet of rain. I'm looking out of my window in my office and just thinking about stuff. How the rain can wash things away that you didn't want there. Or how, like the song says, if you go out in the rain, no one will see you cry. Or how the rain can make you feel nostalgic about things. It can make you sad or it can make you happy. Feel all fuzzy inside.

Hmmm. The rain is powerful.

Blah/OutKast Day

2008-12-04T08:16:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting at my desk listening to one of top five favorite OutKast songs: "Prototype". I still feel the way Andre feels in this song years later. Dammit!!!

Today I am aggravated by the Cycle of Life and bullshit going in my life, which I allowed to happen. Before I would have said that today is not a good day, but it is. The sun is shining bright outside my window. The leaves are still falling from the trees and from my view you can't tell it's 35 degrees outside. It looks like a sunny, hot, bright BEAUTIFUL day. Today is the day the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it.

So yeah, I just came back from helping my co-worker, who I would like to like, but something isn't quite right with her. Can a person really be that incompetent? Really? Do I really have to show you have to hook the computer and projector up? Re-save your work to your junk drive in Word 2003? Really? Or are you just playing me?

When they called me for my assistance I was pissed because, well, the C.O.L. is killing me, I'm extremely annoyed and I was having a GRAND time listening to "Slum Beautiful" during my self-proclaimed "OutKast Day" (Andre makes me happy!).

BUT I was also sick of mentally beating myself up over this horrible drama that I'm taking myself through, so I needed something else to do. So, there you have it. I put on my tech hat (which I don't do often).

So OutKast Day continues:

"I can't afford not to record."
"She so gotdamn sweet, sweet as she wanna be! Ooh, I just wanna lay in her hair!"
"Everybody need to quit actin hard and shit before you get yo ass whooped! (I'll slap the f*ck outcha"
"F' that Valentine's Day!"
"Can't worry bout what a nigga think. Now see, that's liberation, and baby I want it!"
"Climbing out this hole with a smile on my face. In the place to be and not to be at the same time."
"Baby, take off your cool. I wanna see you. I wanna see you."

What a Difference a Year Makes

2008-11-24T13:07:00.000-08:00

This time last year, I was probably pacing the floor of Baptist Memorial Hospital hoping my Daddy would be the same Daddy I knew before his stroke. God, it seems just like yesterday that our lives were turned upside down. Time does fly though.

Now, Daddy is okay. Doing just fine, physically though he still has some speaking issues due to the stroke. I can't complain at all. Thank God for that!

This time last year,

This time last year I was still dodging the youngin and about to be reunited (?) with That One again unexpectedly. Never varying from the script, he disappeared from my life some months later and now I'm shamefully still hoping to see him this weekend so I can get some some ish out. There's a song on I Am...Sasha Fierce called "Disappear" that sums it up completely!

I know I'm going on off a tangent, but....It's not fair. Just when I think it could be something with another guy who could possibly OVERshadow him, it flops. For several reasons, I guess, but it all comes down to it not being meant to be. Oh well.

This post has no direction whatsoever. Sorry! I'm actually trying to work and I didn't get much sleep last night!

Toodles!

Taking On Pain

2008-11-19T12:30:00.000-08:00

It's been a long time, right? I'm kinda sorta down from my Obama high, still working hard and sleeping less (ugh!). I guess it's time to post. Last weekend, my Mama finally came over my house just to visit and chill for the first time in a year and half. We watched The Secret Life of Bees (yes, the bootleg!). The sister, May, who felt everyone's pain and emotions, I found is somewhat similar to me.

Have you ever said you love someone, but didn't realize that you really meant it until something terrible happened? Case and point: One of my church members--my Sunday School teacher (when I would go), our youth advisor--- passed last week. She was only 40 years old. My church family is really a family. We have disagreements, but overall, we're fairly close. This woman was so many things to us, the young adults, and especially the kids. She was a confidant, a comedian, a Bible Study teacher, everything. Just a good, Christian woman. She had three children, all teenagers. The funeral was pretty sad, yet good (if you know what I mean).

When I saw her only daughter cry uncontrollably and almost fall to the ground, my heart broke in two. I felt her pain deep, deep inside. Almost as if it were me on that pew. All day and even before then, I prayed day and night for God to be the comfort that they need. I know He will be.

So, I guess that means I really love those kids and I loved their mother. When you love someone, you feel their pain and what they're going through. But another day has come and I have a reassuring feeling that God is going to make everything alright. I hope in due time, they get that feeling, too.

November 4, 2008: A Moment in History

2008-11-04T21:30:00.001-08:00

I'm sitting here, still in awe.

Senator Barack Obama is now President-Elect Obama. I have never cried so much (maybe once or twice), but NEVER over an election. He won fair and square. To look at him, a Black man, proud, strong, fearless and humble all at the same time...it's just indescribable.

For all of the men and women who fought and died to have equality, to vote, to even drink out of the same water fountain as others, today is their day. For everyone, young and old, babies and our children who are yet to come, today is their day, as well. History has been made and once that happens, it can't be taken back.

As much as I'd like to write something eloquent and tear-jerking, I can't. This time, not even my writing ability will allow me to share what I'm feeling right now.

But there's something to be said about God having His hand on you. No trickery, deceit or obstacles can hold you back from what He has destined for you. Earlier today, I was angry. About our history, why we had to be enslaved, treated as second-class citizens, why we have to, even today, prove ourselves twice as much as the next person. Why after 400+ years are still oppressed in some ways?

God gave me my answer tonight. Our time is not His time. When the elections were stolen in 2000 and 2004, when attacks were against us on every hand, God was using that to set up this victory that we have right now. He proves daily that everything that happens is a part of His divine will and perfect plan. I believe that.

So even though we have claimed this glorious moment in history, I (and hopefully, you too) will be patient for the CHANGE that is sure to come. I will keep my ancestors' sacrifices in mind when things get rough. I will remain a proud American and African American.

I will never forget God's promises to His people.

Bey Season

2008-10-29T13:19:00.000-07:00

Since it's only 3 p.m. and I have two hours to go with nothing to do, why not blog again? I usually don't do posts about specific people, especially celebrities. I'll leave that to YBF, but..... I was just looking at another blog and the writer posted Bey's "Single Ladies" video. I heard the song about three weeks ago for the first time. It was one of those 5:00 drive "exclusive premieres." I thought it was okay at first listen. My good friend, who is pretty much a Bey closet-Stan said she didn't care for it. I told her not to worry because she'd like it no matter what. In a just a couple of weeks, it will become the new club banger, the new "Get Me Bodied" (Lord knows, I skipped over it on the CD until the video came out), the new Woman's Declaration for everyone who got slighted by the one they thought would put the ring on it.

I must say, everything Bey touches turns to gold (eventually). I mean this chick is gyrating in a one-arm bodysuit and the entire country is trying to learn the dance moves and find a body somewhere that halfway looks as good as hers. So I'll try my best not become tired of Beyonce. I love her, really I do. I feel like it's about to be system overload, like when she re-released B-Day. I might not be able to take it.

But I'll still be the first one at Circuit City to cop the album and the first one to purchase my ticket for Essence Music Fest.

I think she sprinkled some pixie dust on us. Damn you, Bey! Damn you!

I Guess I Should Post Something

2008-10-29T12:16:00.000-07:00

Seize the opportunity while you can, someone once told me. So here I am...finally blogging again. It's been crazy busy for me lately. One of my bestest friends from college/LS/roommate visited this weekend. We chilled basically. The highlights are as follows:

Attending Smokie Norful's (her pastor) live DVD recording. I hope I'm on camera. Then again, maybe not. He was excellent and my fave, Ty Tribbett was there bouncing off the walls as usual.

Attending a demo for Zumba and pole-dancing/strip aerobics. (Don't ask how go went from gospel concerts to stripper poles--it was all my idea!) Two things I learned from that: I'm out of shape!! Like foreal to be the lil slim something that I am. It's a shame really. And finally, strippers need to win awards (if they don't already). That ish takes some strong muscles and stamina. After TRYING to swing on the pole, I gotta respect where it's due. I wasn't that bad though. A month or so and I'll be decent. Our instructor is in the Air Force. No more than 5'2, 100 lbs maybe. Fly a plane and work the pole. That's a bad B! I'm hatin'! lol

Eating the BOMB sushi at this spot out east. FRIED sushi is the best, hands down!

In other news, our new Boss Lady is arriving next week, so my supervisor has strategically planned and made it possible for everyone on the old wing of the office to switch offices. I now have her old office. A smaller space (which keeps me from falling asleep somehow) and my very own door to open or close. I think I'll go with the latter of the two. It's a gift and a curse though. See, there's a door, but next to it a window. So everyone can see as they come into the suite. What does that mean? It means that I have to stay busy or atleast look I'm doing something constructive at all times. That's not difficult these days though. Random cell phone convos and extended calls on the office phone? Out of the question. Oh well, moving up costs.

This morning, I looked like shit. No other way to say it. To me, anyway. This thing called PMS is real, people. I looked and felt like crap. Once I got into the office, I turned Fred Hammond on on my mp3. I said prayer and just sat there. It worked. I FEEL much better. Looks is another story though.

Anyway, that's about all I feel like updating you on for now. Oh, thanks for your feedback on that story. It's written and submitted. Can't wait to show it to you.

Working on a Story: Need Your Help

2008-10-17T11:11:00.000-07:00

I know, I know..it's been a minute, right? Do me a favor...

Ladies, if you have ever been broken up with right before the holidays, email at lishasu888@yahoo.com as soon as possible and let me know how it happened, how you felt, etc. Men, if you have ever broken up with a girlfriend before the holidays, tell me why and how'd you do it? I am working on a story and need your input. If your story is selected for the peice, you will be given an alias or remain anonymous.

Help me out!!!

THANKS

Thoughts While Eating Cheesecake Bites

2008-10-04T20:24:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting up here...eating cheesecake bites, listening to these fools on Michael Baisden tell why they are not ready for a black president. Get the ___ outta here! Granted this is an old episode, there are still some people TODAY who will not vote in this historic election because they don't want to get summoned to jury duty. What the fuck is that about??? Atleast you get a day off work! Or they don't want Obama to get murdered. Pray for his safety and move on. The bottom line is what will be, will be.

I didn't even intend on writing about that, but...

So homecoming is coming up this weekend. I'm looking forward to it. It's my 5th year reunion in the Alpha Tau chapter of DST. Yay for Spring 2003! Anyway, the past two weekends I have chilled. Like foreal. I haven't done anything social for several reasons: I need to rest up because work is and will be kicking my ass until the end of the year. Also, there just isn't anything to do! Well, maybe it is. But still...

For like five minutes I thought how pathetic it was to not do shit every weekend, but then put all my excitement into one annual event where thousands of alumni will try to relive their 4-6 years of college in 2.5 days. That's what happens when you're an adult. What happened to making memories every day? Atleast every other weekend?

Anyway, maybe it's the period talking, which is why I'm STILL on these cheesecake bites.

Goodnight. Off to watch SNL slam the debates!

Planning Ahead

2008-09-30T07:19:00.000-07:00

It's kind of chilly today. I finally feel like there's actually going to be a fall season. I have my heated rug on with my shoes off and about to go get some coffee to warm up. It's cold.

All of the entries in the blog have been centered around my thoughts and such, but none of them recently have told you what's really going on with me. Don't get geeked because it's not much at all. But I've found that most times, the things that I'm feeling that really irk the ish out of me are left out of this blog. That's no fun!

So....we're getting a new boss lady in November. I heard some real shady stuff is going on, too. Whoever they decide on, get her in here so I can find her angle and work a raise for the next fiscal year. I need to get paid! Of course, I can tell that even though my program is booming (I'll be on the news tonight-ick!), my days are numbered. Just a feeling I have.

I went to the Social Security Administration website and they have increased the age of retirement to 67 if you are born in 1960-. Great! That means I have 40 more years to work. At this rate, I won't survive to cash out what little 401k funds I'll have. All this time to work..that's some bullshit! Forreal!

So that means, I need to start now, thinking about how I can do what I WANT to do. Because this ain't it. I love the job. I do it well enough. But people's money problems suck! What it does for me though that's great is make me so greatful to God that (atleast right now) I don't have to struggle and I can pay my bills and not stress. I'm blessed and I know that. God's got me either way.

It also makes me marvel at how people can get by on little or nothing. No one is exempt from some type of struggle, so listening to people's issues make me plan ahead. I know I wouldn't know what or how to feel until it happened to me. Often I think, what if I lost my job? How would I make it? This is not a pessimist way of thinking because I know God will provide. However, I do believe that He gives us common sense so when we have struggles, we can I have a plan to move forward. I have one loosely worked out in my head. Let's see if it makes sense...

Adjunct teach 2-3 classes for a semester (granted I'm able to contact them in time and assuming I didn't lose my job in the middle of the semester)
-$1,299 net/month

Work a part-time job in retail (again)
-$250/wk=$1,000/month

Continue freelance writing jobs (not consistent)
-$50-$200

-Apply to substitute teach in city or county school
2-3 times a week at $75/day=$800/month

Either move back home or cut all cable, extras, beauty shop appointments
-less $200-$250

Tap out my savings
-should cover about two months of basic expenses

Keep in mind that this is only a plan. As the saying goes, "Man plans, God laughs."

Dream Analysis

2008-09-29T13:19:00.000-07:00

It's a little after 3 p.m. and just 20 minutes ago I felt like my day was almost over. I was so wrong. I was hoping when I returned to my office that it would be atleast 3:45. No such luck. Suddenly I'm sleepy as hell and I think I know why.

Dreams.

I keep having the craziest dreams. For about two weeks now, every other, if not every night, my dreams are causing my sleep to be...not effective. Last night I dreamed that I went to a club, but it was really like a dormitory. The bad part was it was run by a slew of racist white people. They were luring blacks in and holding them hostage. Torturing them, etc. Oddly enough, the "warden" was the guy, Cartwright, from The Family That Preys (I thought he was pretty hot--not anymore). I'm sure he was in it because he played the leading Skinhead in Higher Learning (don't ask me how I remember that). Anyway, I was trying to escape out the window, cutting the screens out with a Swiss Army knife. When I jumped out of the window, I realized we were in a compound and couldn't get out. All around the outside perimeter were black men tied up and hanging.

It was THE worst dream ever. I woke up at 5:19 a.m. and walked around. Then I just laid there. I don't know why that dream was so alarming (besides the obvious). What did it mean?

I am tense all in the shoulders. I don't know what's going on, but sleep, which I could always count on to be pleasureable, isn't anymore.

Damn.

Don't Wear Obama Paraphanelia to the Polls! You will be turned around! (From the B Life)

2008-09-27T08:32:00.000-07:00

I know you love your "Barack the Vote" sweatshirt, but please DO NOT wear any sort of Obama 'nalia (t-shirt, pins, hats, etc. etc.) to the polls when voting on election day. It's news to me, but apparently anyone with this type of gear is considered to be campaigning, and therefore not allowed x-feet from the polls.
This year, with all the OBAMA excitement and hype, they're assuming that people are UNAWARE of this law and will send them home, with the hope that they won't make it back out to vote. "It's just one vote, right?" - WRONG. Don't be the one!

Follow the rules. Wear regular clothing! No signs or literature either!

I Find It Quite Funny

2008-09-25T12:17:00.000-07:00

It's funny how this entire bail-out/McCain/debate is panning out. What is McCain thinking, suspending his campaign to "save" the country in the bail-out?? You don't suspend a campaign 40 days before the election.

As Dave Letterman (who I don't watch often unless a worthy guest is on) said, bring in your second-string quarterback (that would be the Palin chick) and run the campaign. That would be the obvious thing to do, correct?

Not showing up for the debate will only make Obama shine like the star that he is. Of course, there will still be millions of people who will continue to applaud McCain for his commitment to his country! Bullshit. Straight up and down bullshit. What can he, a senator who has a piss-poor track record on some of the most votes ever, do to bring out country back to a sound economic status?

I'm convinced that he called ole' George up yesterday and asked him to reel Obama in since he wasn't trying to hear that debate delay mess. You should see the fanfare in Oxford! (It's only 45 minutes away, so we get and do all of the coverage in Memphis.) People have really pulled out all of the stops. Five million dollars invested in this debate, which Ole Miss (the host) has been planning for an entire year.

McCain...you're such a let-down. Not like I didn't already think that in the first place. But now, it's crystal clear.

This will most definitely be in the history books.

Ray Ray and 'Nem

2008-09-21T14:36:00.000-07:00

Today I'm sitting her on Imeem and Limewire (shhhh!!) trying to find Raphael Saadiq's Scream remix. You know, the one that was on one of my favorite movies, Motives. Hot!

It's a must that pick up Ray Ray's new CD. I finally caught his Soul Stage performance on VHI Soul and I'm in love. It all sounds like old Motown! Then when he went back and did a mix of Tony, Toni, Tone songs, it was a wrap for me. Dude is crazy talented. Not like I didn't already know that, but sometimes it takes a concert to bring the obvious to the forefront.

For example, in 2004, Usher was in concert with somebody else. I don't even know which of the two was the headliner, but I bought tickets anyway. I don't think I'd been mesmerized by Confessions yet, but I just knew that Usher would blow chunks. Clearly, I was up on my feet singing along and dancing. I was a certified fan and didn't even realize it.

So back to Raphael. Yeah, he's that ish! And on Tuesday, I'll get his new album and Jazmine Sullivan.

Give Me My Space

2008-09-20T19:39:00.000-07:00

Okay, so you know it's not often that I blog from home, so I must really be in a zone. You're right. Let me tell you what I have done today.

I woke up.
I cooked breakfast.
I cleaned the house.
Took a bath.
Went to my grandmother's house with my mother for about an hour.
Came back home and watched the Martin marathon.

That's it. And that's was so damn great to me.

My mama asked me was I depressed or was I "about to come on my period" or did I just not feel like being bothered.

I'll take your last option for $500, please!

The aggravation.

I think people, especially parents, think you are exempt from being tired or wanting to be alone. The last time I told somebody I enjoy being by myself, he turned straight Dr. Phil on me and thought I should try getting out and meeting more people. Believe me, I damn near know everybody and for most of my life, I have been the Everything Girl. I go to everything, do everything, try to bring everyone and everything together. It's time out for that for a minute.

Why does it have to be something wrong with me just because I want to sit in my house all day? I did my weekly duties: church, work, cleaning, paying bills, checking on my grandmother (church and Granny are things I actually want to do). I think I deserve a break, don't you? Every weekend for two months, I have been running. Granted, a lot of it was my own doing--strictly voluntary, but so what? This weekend I decided was MY weekend. Next week will be a BEAST for me, so I need to re-up.

And that's just what I'm gon' do. (Off to watch ANOTHER episode of Martin)

Getting Over the Racial Hump

2008-09-19T08:55:00.000-07:00

Let me tell you something.

All men are the same. Alllll men across racial and cultural lines. I don't mean the same in personality or action, but in these lame ass tactics of trying to holler or flirt.

The Indian, whom I will call Taj because I wouldn't want him referring to me as The Black Chick to his friends, is really trying to get it in before he leaves the city.

We'd been playing phone tag since we went out, so finally we caught up with each other. Saying in my Martin voice, "He's a willllddd boy!" He has very much shed his traditional Indian ways, as he loves to club and frequent strip clubs. Also, he's so not "long-term relationship material." Thanks for putting that out there, Buddy.

He wanted to "play a game" over the phone. My brain, of course, went straight to the gutter immediately. I was thinking, "Dude, I can't have phone sex with you! I don't even know you like that!" LOL

He wanted to play Questions. You know, the game where you ask questions back and forth, yada yada. Yeah, that one.

I HATE that game. Could it be because I hate answering questions? He wanted to ask 10 questions each, but I said hell to the naw. Let's drop it down to five.

His questions were as follows:

What's the wildest thing I've ever done?
What flips my switch? (I asked him to expound on that one.)
What turns me on?

Yeah. I shut that down quick. You need to know that information because what?

I can't lie. I'm already apprehensive about answering questions, especially when I barely know the person. The fact that he is not Black was bothering me. Don't ask me why. It's really stupid, but it's the way I feel. People are people and I know I just said that he is just like alot of men I've come across. He tried one of the oldest tricks in the book played by men to "get to know" a woman. He would like to hit and I can see right through him.

The fact still remains that he ain't Black. Would I feel the same if it were a white guy?

He wants to hang out this weekend. I don't know.

Nostalgia

2008-09-18T10:14:00.000-07:00

As the season is changing from summer to fall, there's a special feeling in the air. For me anyway. Have you ever gotten the exact same feeling you did years ago just from walking outside or seeing the sun shine bright, smelling the air or seeing the moon glow? As I was walking around the house today, I got that feeling. I'm not sure what it reminded me of though.

I'm thinking about five years ago, walking to class on LSU's campus (even though I didn't like it, I eventually got used to it). I remember thinking that the sky was so clear and after class I could do whatever I wanted to do. That's until I went to the Bullseye (Target) later that night. Back then I just knew that there had to be something better for me. Working two jobs (the second was voluntary), going to school full-time at a school I didn't even like was not what I thought I'd be doing. But it was a choice I made. That particular year was one of the best in my life. Contrarily, I felt trapped, but at that very moment, smelling that clean air and gazing at that blue sky, I felt free.

Today, like that day then, is a beautiful day.

Just Sitting Here

2008-09-16T12:15:00.000-07:00

What up?

I have class in about two hours and as usual, I couldn't be more tired. It's more of a sinus, I need some sleep kind of tired.

As of today, I no longer have an office roommate. It's just me, myself and I in here. It feels good. It also feels kind of weird. Oddly enough, I'd gotten used to her loud complaining, constant questions and extra loud personal conversations with her daughters and accountants. I learned to drown it out.

What is especially good is that no one is in here. Get it? I'm alone. I like it that way. I sound like a weirdo, but that's how I feel. I work at my own pace, and I do what I want to do. I had a long talk with my Mama and she suggested that I work for myself because I don't do well in a structured work setting. I do well. I just don't like it. And I don't know of many people who do.

I asked her did she think just because you're good at something, you should be passionate about it. Absolutely not was her answer. I agree. I really like my job. I'm pretty good at it. But all in all, I could care less. Let me rephrase that...it's just a job. I'm a realist/dreamer so I know that most people work to get a check. Period. But I think I need more. I should not get bored with jobs so quickly. I need passion. (In ALL areas of life, but that's another story for another time.)

In Tyler Perry's A Family That Preys, the character asked this:

Are you living or just existing?

Deep like the ocean, huh? I know.

I want to live.

I called some friends from college this weekend to check on them one of them told me, "You know what you want to do. Why don't you take a couple of weeks off and go to the place where you can make it happen?"

Tell me something I don't know.

Then he said, "You can't be scared."

Most definitely food for thought.

And that's why I was supposed to call them.

I Need An Upgrade

2008-09-12T07:47:00.000-07:00

The other day I was looking at some old pictures from my senior year of undergrad and first year of grad school. How is it possible that I kept myself up better then when I didn't have a "real" job than I do now with one? My hair was always done (I did it myself--weekly! Only God knows how I did that.) and I had bi-weekly manicure and pedicure appointments. Let's not forget going to the little Asian store to get my eyebrows waxed!

These days, I feel like I'm looking and feeling a mess. I've come to the conclusion that my bi-weekly hair appointments are not enough. This hair gets dirty and oily QUICK. Ick! Right now, it's in a ponytail and I don't do those that often. I don't even think I had a pedicure all summer. For shame! And I'm so damn tired these days, you could tote your luggage under my eyes, fasho.

So, I feel like treating myself. Where's my energy? I'm so lackluster these days. A close friend of mine says I'm not "me" or "Alisha" anymore. I disagree wholeheartedly, but there are a few things that could change. For example:

Exercise: Simply put, I don't. At all. I don't even know where the excercise room in my apartment complex is! I probably haven't worked out forreal since I had my membership to the French Rivera in 2004. Damn shame.

Eating Right (or atleast better): My meals that I prepare at home (when I do) consist of pasta. Something with noodles and a little meat and cheese and occaisionally, some spinach. That's about it. A pork chop here and there and even though I always buy veggies when I shop, rarely, do I cook them. THIS IS A MAJOR PROBLEM. But we already knew that. They say admitting is the first step to recovery.

Sleep: If you know me, you know that this one of my favorite past times, besides writing and watching Martin. It seems that when I sleep longer, I end up more tired the next day. I don't know how to stop that. Everyday I feel like somebody bitch-slapped me.

Running Myself Ragged: This is what my life is made of. If you've noticed (probably not), this summer I have been on the go. Here and there and I rarely take the time I need to fully recover before I'm back to doing something else. Work is becoming more demanding and it requires a LOT of energy on my part. It sounds easy, but it's not at all. I am a firm believer in sitting on my ass for long periods of time to chill, but after awhile, I think I need to be up doing something. Then the cycle starts all over again.

So, as you can see, I have some work to do. I forgot to mention that I got my first full-body massage last weekend. (sigh) It was so relaxing. Clearly, an hour is not long enough. I need to figure out a way to include that in my budget.

Have a great weekend!

The Unknown

2008-09-08T09:00:00.000-07:00

Hey Kids!

Not too much going on here. I'm ready to go home already and I have a gang of things to do after work. I don't expect to get home before 7:30 or 8 p.m. Ugh! And I have to clean up. Gotta love being an adult!

I didn't tell you, but I ventured into The Unknown last week.

I went out on a date with someone outside of my race. I know, I know. That's sounds so backwoods, uncultured, whatever. I know that in more metropolitan cities (i.e., New York), interracial dating (or hanging out, in this case) is nothing. I have my own opinions about it. My take on it is "do whatcha do", but I don't think it's for me.

I've always dated Black men, though I thought a few white guys were hot. If my ex co-worker wasn't married with TWO kids, I'd date him in a minute (country, Arkansas-bred, dirt truck driving, white boy and all!) The hot factor does not discriminate, so neither should I, I guess. No, I am not one of these bitter Black women who has given up on my men. I just thought I'd try it out.

I met this guy on the plane to New York. He's Indian. As in, from India originally. (My male co-worker said, "Indians need some ass, too!) He seemed to be quite talkative. Normally, I want my plane neighbor to shut the hell up and let me either sleep or listen to my music. Surprisingly, he was pretty cool. Nice lil swagger (from what I could tell). He even let me watch Superbad with him until his computer died. The movie was hilarious, by the way. And I know I'm so late on that!

Turns out, he lives in the NY area, but is on contract, doing work for our cable company. He's been here for a few months. Just as we were about to part ways, he asked me for my number so we could hang out when he comes back from NJ. I thought it was okay to do that.

To my surprise when I returned home, he called me. We went to the movies the next day (before I left for Nashville). It was cool. A good movie. A cool guy. Chill.

It was odd for me a little and there was some hesitation on my part to go out. A young Black couple at the movie couldn't stop staring at us. Paranoia on my part? Hell no. This dude was downright staring us in the face with no shame. Even turned around and looked back at us as we were walking out of theater. So this is how it feels, I thought.

He's made it clear that he's interested in more than just hanging out. I've already received an invite to the house and cute little text messages while I was out of town. I don't think I'm ready for all that. As soon as I drove out of the theater parking lot (because you know I drove my own car), I thought, "Umph, ain't nothin' like a Black man."

Stay tuned.

Today is Friday

2008-09-05T09:53:00.000-07:00

Today I don't feel so good. This morning I get up and drive to work and I have a splitting headache. It's sinus, I know. Ugh. It's unseasonably cool outside even in September. I have a sneaky suspicison that SHE is on her way to visit me this month. My ex co-worker calls her period "Keisha the Bitch". I think that's hilarious. Maybe I"ll call mine "Bertha the Beast".

I have a half-day since I worked last night. I was really excited about it because it's only a few hours, but I be damned if it's not taking an eternity for 12:30 to come. I swear the clock on this computer has not changed since 30 minutes ago.

Anyway, I'm going to Nashville tonight for the John Merritt Classic. Tennessee State will play my beloved Southern University. It's going to be different since Gustav came through and shook Louisiana up. Half of Baton Rouge and the majority of New Orleans still don't have electricity. It's crazy. I don't expect a big turn-out, but those Jags like to travel regardless. Anyway, hopefully, I'll have a good time.

THEN, I will sit still for a minute. Until Homecoming the next month.

Have a great weekend!

The Big Apple

2008-09-04T08:35:00.000-07:00

Gina, Martin ain't thinkin' bout you. So I what I think you should do is pack your little Hefty bag and head off to the Big Apple, Big Apple!

-Sheneneh

I haven't posted in a while because I've been on vacation in New York City. Yep, it was my first time there, so that's one city checked off of the list of Places to Visit Before Age 30. (Why do I sound like life ends at 30? I hear it BEGINS!) Anyway, I was excited to see what the Big Apple had to offer. How did people really live? Were people from "up North" rude and nasty? Would I run into any celebrities? Where is the Time Warner Building???

Wellll, I arrived in the city at about 11 a.m. I put my bags down at the hotel (which was a GREAT spot that was NOT in Times Square, btw) and walked across Park Avenue to one of a million Starbuck's in NYC. Like an idiot, I forgot my notebook and I have not cultivated the patience to write long entries on my Blackberry yet, so I settled for the blank back side of printed boarding pass. Here's what I wrote:

8/28/08

12:28 p.m. (ET)

So, I'm in NYC. As I rode through Lincoln Tunnel, reading A Belle in Brooklyn on my Blackberry, I thought "so this is the Big City, huh?" The streets are cramped, the drivers are aggressive and building are tall. Taller than the ones in Memphis, for sure.

But things aren't that different (yet). There a Starbuck's right across the street from the hotel. It's packed with business-types, cool kids and students peering at their Mac laptop screens. The guy who just made my tall Caramel Frappacino (with extra caramel) is now at lunch. He is gathered at a table with his mom and little brother (I assume), eating a Popeye's chicken dinner.

Some things are universal, I see!

It's Day 1, hour 2 of my first visit to Gotham City. Let's see what else happens. I wonder where that Popeye's is though....

You Don't Say, Huh?

2008-08-27T13:35:00.000-07:00

So....I just came back from the beauty shop (on the clock!) for my wonderful NYC trip tomorrow. Thanks to that damn Gustav, who I hope does not hit anywhere in the US, it's supposed to be raining the entire weekend. Thanks for nothing! That really pisses me off, especially when the sun is shining BRIGHT and it's HOT as hell here. But it's God's work, so what can you do?

While I was under the dryer, I read a couple of magazines and as I was flipping through one of them, I saw a story or a briefing, rather, in a section of the mag that looked so familiar....

Welll, over the last few months, I have pitching magazine editors with different story ideas (with no particular topic in mind). Funny how a pitch I sent out in April has turned into a small story in one of the magazines.

Am I saying this magazine "stole" my idea? Not necessarily so. Maybe great minds think alike. Maybe someone beat me to the punch months ago before I ever pitched the idea. Who knows? Whatever the reason, it doesn't sit well me at all, but I have no control over it.

So I need to ask some real professionals, how do you keep your ideas from being used, instead of your writing services? Can you do anything at all? I never heard from that mag with a yea or nay on whether or not they liked my idea, so that's makes me a little irritated. I imagine that this happens a lot.

I've got to do my research.

Last Night

2008-08-26T13:14:00.000-07:00

This is one is gonna be a hard post. I've been out of the office all day, so I'm just now getting to the blogs and commentary on Michelle Obama's WONDERFUL speech at the DNC last night. I would be out of order as a blogger if I didn't dedicate a post to that historic moment. However, I can't find the words to say.

All I can say is the moment was REAL and not scripted or staged. It was so eloquent. And when she spoke, tears filled my eyes. That's the kind of emotion that came from my heart and manifested in tears running down my face. If you watched it, certainly you felt the same.

I guess that's all I can say. Oh, and Barack telling Michelle she "looked real cute." Gotta love it!

Oh, and who would have thought I'd get that excited over Ted Kennedy! He looked so good!

http://gallery1.demconvention.com/Default.html?Date=8/25/2008&TimeBlockID=2&ProgramID=-77

Woman Up

2008-08-24T20:24:00.000-07:00

It's 10:34 p.m. on a Sunday night. I should be folding this huge pile of clothes on my bed so I can actually get in the bed...Instead, I'm sitting here, listening to Faith Evans' first album, Faith and typing this blog.

Yesterday, some things took place that have put things in perspective for me. You already know that I have an issue with telling people, mainly the opposite sex, my true feelings. For example, if I'm just not into him (anymore) or if I never was or if there is simply no potential for anything to be, I have a hard time expressing that. That's absolutely crazy because they probably don't care either way. I drop hints all day every day and where has it ever gotten me? Nowhere fast!

Case and point:

Scenario #1
A guy a met at a club turned out to have three children with a BM who he nearly married. The first conversation he asked me if I was sleeping with anyone because he wanted to know if I was "emotionally attached" to someone. Who says one has to do with the other all the time?? Anyway, sorry buddy, you're not my cup of tea! I ignored his relentless text messages and phone calls. Finally after a couple of weeks, communication on his part ceased. Mission accomplished!

I'll be damned if dude didn't call me yesterday--twice. I never saved his number, so I'd long forgotten about him. An unknown number came up on the phone, but it looked a tad familiar, so I called it back. Stupid! Dude, why are you still calling me? Why is my number even saved? He was on some, "You probably don't remember me because we didn't talk that much, but..."

After I realized who he was was, I put him on hold to catch another call. He sent me a message that said, "Did you forget about me or do I need to erase your number?"

I'll take the latter for $400, please!

Scenario #2
The youngin from the Summer '07 fling fizzled out for reasons that I know and some I don't. Bottom line is we were on two different levels in life. After he visited me earlier this year to reconcile, I froze up on telling him that I really wanted him to disappear into thin air on the spot (that's way harsh!). Good guy, but I think that's just the way I was feeling at the time. I lied and said everything was cool and while I didn't think we should see each other anymore, we could still be friends. I didn't really mean that, either.

He's still calling me to go "out to lunch" or to "come over" because we're still "friends" damn near a year later.

Scenario #3
A guy I've known for 10+ who has liked me since Heck was a pup will NOT give up on getting me. I play him to the left constantly and I've done some things that I wish I could reverse, so now it's time to have that talk with him about how it will never be. I even tried to justify "trying" to like him because he had a lot of things on the checklist ( no kids, homeowner, great job). It's so much more that needs to be considered though. He and I just will not work. I finally get it. Now it's time for him to get it, too.

I have to woman-up and just come out with it. I can't spare others feelings for my own anymore. No, I don't think these guys will fall apart because I'm so hot, etc. But I do know how people can be when they don't get what they want, but you know what? Tough titty! That's their issue, not mine. It'll keep me from dealing all this foolishness that could have been prevented on the front-end, if I would have spoken up.

Take that, take that!

Weekend Wrap-Up: I'm Me!

2008-08-18T07:24:00.000-07:00

It's been awhile...about a week since I last posted. This week, I have no long-term outlook, meaning for the first time in minute, I haven't analyzed everything I'll have to do at work, etc. for the week. I went to sleep last night and woke up and got dressed. That's it! But it just hit me that I have a story to write (PR stuff) and the deadline is.....TODAY! I hate it when contacts don't call me back.

In other news, this has been a pretty good weekend. One of my best friends from high school came home and we hung out at our girl's house. We ate sushi (the best I've had so far!), had drinks and watched....Love Jones. This will forever be a classic. Some classic lines from the movie:

Masterpiece of minimalism...

I steal, I don't get stole on!

Do it, girl! Do it!

It was like his d*ck...just talked to me....
What it say???
Ninaaaa...Ninaaa!

When that Love Jones come down....it be a muthafucka!

Let me break it down so it can forever and consistently be broke!

Don't make me break outtt..my Karate girl!

My grandmother's birthday was Saturday. She's 81 years old. Thank God for that! I visited with her and later went out with a friend downtown. She'd never been on Beale Street (wow!). It was a sight and experience for her, no doubt. The next day we had a party for Granny and brought her to my mama's house from the nursing home for the first time. She was GREAT! And she looked so cute. All of the family was over and my little cousins (7, 8 and 10) bumped Keri Hilson, Chris Brown and MILEY CYRUS on their mp3 players. Again, I say wow. How do they know about Keri Hilson???

Speaking of music, I just think Michael Phelps is hotness.

The fact that he listened to Weezy's "I'm Me" before he won his fifth (?) gold medal makes him even hotter.

I'm putting swimmers up there with baseball players for having the most banging bodies of athletes!

Usain Bolt, the fastest man in the world for Jamaica---Big ups!! I bet he lit one up some serious after his race. Yea mon!!

Saturday, as I was cleaning up my house, I turned the TV to VH1 Soul and Driven: Kanye West was on. I've seen it like five times, but I really paid attention this time around. It made pull out my College Dropout CD. Oh the memories! One of my favorite songs was "Spaceship." I would listen to it everyday on the way to my dead-in job (SuperTarget) while I was in grad school.

I've been working this graveshift and I ain't made shit
I wish I could buy me a spaceship and fly
Past the sky!

Oh, how I felt you, Kanye! Sometimes I still feel like that. I was still feeling inspired today, so I popped in Ye's "I'm Good" mixtape that I bought in 2004. Classic stuff. My fav is "Out the Game." Do it John Legend!

So, all in all, this weekend was great. I'm off to finish (um, start) my work!

Monday Morning Inspiration: And It Is So...

2008-08-11T08:17:00.000-07:00

Top of the morning to ya!

What's new in your world? Nothing that new in mine. I'm anxiously awaiting my trip to NYC. Trying to be ever so frugal until that time comes. Waiting on a few checks to come in so I can replenish my savings. Ummm, what else?

I need a plan. A plan to make some of these dreams of mine come true. God has opened so many doors for me regarding this writing thing in such short time. I'm learning to operate on the mantra "Just do it! What have I got to lose??" Yes, I am the queen of "what if" and "how will I know...?", but sometimes you just have to do it to get your dreams out. Whether it's taking a part-time job, providing a service for free, being persistent (email-stalking) and asking questions and asking for HELP, you've got to do it. Simple as that.

I've been thinking, it's about time I join the National Association of Black Journalists (NABJ) again. Duh, right? Even though I've made connections on my own, it helps to have an accredited association on the resume.

I need a mentor...hence my needed affiliation with NABJ. I need someone to guide me in the right direction in this thing. I've been doing things blindly. I don't have all (or even some of) the answers, clearly, or I would already be where I want to be.

Next question: Where do I want to be? Do I want to work full-time at a magazine or just freelance? But I do know that I have to start with freelancing to get my pinky toe in the door.

I need to take a writing class ASAP. This blog has helped me tremendously, I think, but even when I blog, I can be all over the place. That's fine because it's my blog and I can do whatever I wanna do. Take that, take that! Features or storytelling? I need pigeonhole my niche, per se...I believe in improvement.

I believe that if one believes, has faith and does the work that is required to move to another level in life (whatever it is), it will be. So I say:

I (and you) will see my name in the byline of a major print and online magazine.

I will write and publish entertaining and thought-provoking stories and articles for the world to read.

I will fulfill all of my dreams, goals and aspirations.

I will have the life that God has for me and only me.

-end

26 Texts and $9

2008-08-07T09:41:00.000-07:00

That's how much I have until the 15th of the month. That's NEXT THURSDAY. How in the hell did that happen?

Because I'd like to think I'm a responsible, law-abiding citizen and billpayer, I decided to pay not one, but two of my bills early. I'm such a Type A personality, right?

Shortly thereafter, I checked my account online and you could have knocked me over with a feather. That money is like Mike Epps...FUNNY!

If I was really as smart as I think I am, I would have checked my account FIRST. But noooo, I had to jump bad. Where did my money go?

Let's see, there was tax-free weekend, Starbucks, an unexpected expense for lunch...I could go on and on.

Dammit!

Now if I could get people to stop texting me about nothing, I could keep this phone bill at minimum. Don't ___ this up for me, people!

-End rant

Who's Up for a Little Texting?

2008-08-05T20:53:00.000-07:00

Hey Ya'll!

I've been hella busy working, so I haven't been blogging much (duh!). BUT...I did write one story and it's posted at Belle in Brooklyn. D., the wonderful writer who keeps us on our toes with her daily true life tales, was so gracious to post it earlier today. Feel free to comment there (or here--whatever your preference.) Don't forget to add her to your blogroll if you're not already a regular.

Good day!

http://abelleinbrooklyn.blogspot.com/2008/08/mr-non-telephone-man.html

Reflections

2008-07-31T08:40:00.000-07:00

Last night was a night of reflection for me. It'd been bothering me that I couldn't find anything to blog about that hasn't already been covered on the 13,988 blogs I ready daily. There are some things on my mind that of course, I care not to discuss here, but I do have an idea.

Since my quest to take a quick nap after work was banished by my need to watch Baldwin Hills (Damn you, Gerren. Damn you!) and True Life:I'm a Compulsive Shopper, I actually stayed up for awhile in a slump. I'm still on this thing about me finding out what I ultimately should be doing. Should I continue to apply for jobs out of state? Do I REALLY need to move away right now? Is my current job where I should be or is PR/journalism the way? No doubt, I'm confused as hell. I talked to God (as I do daily) and just asked him to show me something. And if he's showing me, open my eyes even wider where I can see. Please!

Not to mention, with all of my traveling and catching up with people, last night was the first time in about month that I was in solitude. I was actually lonely. Not alone and chillin like I usually am. I was lonely. It sucked terribly. So I asked God to take that feeling away, as well.

On a whim, I pulled out an old tattered black, spiral notebook, which was my "journal" back in 1998-99. I'd recently pulled all of my notebooks and journals from my old bedroom at home when my niece stayed a few nights. She is some kind of nosey! I had written about 55 poems in a section of the journal. I decided to read them and see what was on my mind at 17 years old.

Damn, they were really good! I can't imagine that I had some of those feelings to be so young. Some of the poems clearly didn't reflect my life, but just things that I thought were important. From a wake up call to Black men (still so relevant!) to young women having to sacrifice for their children, love and faith. It was all there. I was blown away. How I wish I had that drive and will to write like that now. I remember sitting in my room with no television or radio on and just writing. Good stuff.

I was inspired all over again. Maybe it won't be poems this time around (I think I'm too free-flowing for that), but it'll be something. With that being said, do you keep a journal? If so, how long have do so and how has it helped you?

Back Again

2008-07-28T12:43:00.000-07:00

I'm back from Chicago. Had fun. But still tired. Still thinking about Gino's East pizza. MMMMMM.....I think I might have some shipped to my house in the next month or two. Just to treat myself.

I'm sure there are tons of newsworthy or thought-provoking topics I could be writing about, but my mind is preoccupied with stuff. I've been applying to jobs...everywhere. Now that I've gotten that down, I think some of these positions require a follow-up. Don't you think sometimes when you send resumes to those generic email addresses (hr@blah.com) that it falls into the endless Black Hole never to be recovered. Damn shame, but I know it's true. I may start sending my pic with my resume. Employee profiles have pics, so why shouldn't my resume and CV?

Anywho, it hit me last week that my NYC trip is at the end of August. Exactly a month from today. What do I pack, bring? So many questions, so little time. I have a very small budget for NYC purchases. I can't blow it. Did I mention that I left my camera at my LS reception in BR, so now that's yet another expense. I felt so weird going to Chicago without my camera. eWWWW!!

I would like to go out on a date. To see Dark Knight, specifically. And eat sushi. Maybe it will happen..maybe it won't. Let's see what happens.

I keep having these dreams about this guy, but I don't know who it is. There is this awesome feeling that I have when I with him, but of course...I can't see his face!!! DAMMIT! I feel like I know who it is....

My niece and nephew are visiting from Louisiana. As tired as I was when I got back from CHI, I still stayed with them and my two cousins and mama to watch Welcome Home, Roscoe Jenkins. Mike Epps is a FOOL! I love him still!

Oooh, and gas prices went down. By like 8 cents! Good stuff.

That should not make me THAT HAPPY!

He Gon Cry in the Car....

2008-07-24T12:06:00.000-07:00

Kudos to you if you know where that line came from. It gets me everytime! The answer is Friday...after Debo took Red's chain that his grandmama gave him.

This post really has nothing to do with nothing, but I'll continue. I receive press releases from BlackNews.com all day long and one of them that I received today was about a book titled, The Things Men Cry About. I clicked on it, thinking I could get some insight on that, maybe a list or something. I mean, the jury is still out on how I feel about men crying. I guess it depends on the circumstances and what they're crying for.

Then it hit me...my friend and I were talking about how pathetic whatshisface was on this season of The Real World. Will! That's it. If you've been watching you'll know that to get back in good graces with his GF, he goes to the bathroom and wells up these fake tears. Seriously, looking in the mirror, blinking like a crazy man to make himself "cry" because he needs her in his life.

And you know what? She fell for it!

What the hell??? How pathetic and sheisty can you be? It's enough that he made out with a cast member (who finally got a relaxer or a flat iron to that head. I'm all for natural, but it looked like a pile of shit on her head.). NOW, you're in the doghouse, so you decide to cry.

But there's a catch...the footage airs on national television dummy!

Some people just don't think about the longterm...

Venting Session

2008-07-22T12:10:00.000-07:00

Hello World!

I'm back from The Boot (AGAIN). I guess I can't stay away. I had many, many thoughts while I there for my family reunion and LS' wedding, but this has been on my mind for a minute.

Obviously, nothing came of Mr. Texter. I don't have time for people who cannot communicate properly, especially, when I'm really trying to work on my communication and open up. So regarding that: Moving on....nothing to see here, folks.

At first (because I'm psycho over this dating/love thing), I beat myself up over not giving him or many others a fair shot. However, I think there are things that should just be done in order to get to know someone and a relationship to flourish. Am I crazy? Also, it has been SO FREAKING LONG since I have actually ANTICIPATED my phone ringing or seeing a guy. It has been so long since I got that "giddy" feeling over a guy. Yes, sometimes it can hurt in the long run, but it feels so damn good.

I mean, it's really been a long time. So basically, what I'm saying is....

I want a Teenage Love Affair!!! This is so ironic because after I'd had this thought...months ago, here comes ole Alicia with this song and video. I thought it was so sweet. Since I missed out on a a TLA when I actually was a teenager, I think now's a good a time as any. Keeping with this same theme, I talked to a friend the other day who is loving the way things are going with her new friend, and I could hear her glowing through the phone. It's crazy! I remember having that feeling. It was like a breath of fresh air. Let me exhale for a second.

So anyway, I had to get that out. I saw an old crush/friend this weekend and I had those little feelings again. Ahhhh! (exhaling again).

Things are so much more fun. Patience is key though. In due time.

Alicia Keys - Teenage Love Affair
Uploaded by BlackAndree

Sidebar: I did have a semi-TLA as a teenager and we're still cool to this day. I just forgot about that one. Boy, did I like him!

Put Your Vision Up

2008-07-16T12:25:00.000-07:00

From My Skirt! Blog

A funny thing happened as I was watching Oprah on my day off last week. The funny thing is I was actually inspired. As much as I love the Media Queen, sometimes, her show topics go right over my head. Laying on the sofa, wrapped in my fleece throw, I decided to take the volume off of mute and see what was going on with Miss O.

The author of The Secret was on the panel with several other women, talking about positive thinking, giving more and getting more in return. Stuff I already knew, pretty much. It wasn’t until the last segment that I perked up. A life coach was encouraging everyone to create Vision Boards.

A vision board is a cutesy collage. All of the places, things, achievements, jobs, ideas you hope to have in the future go on that board. They interviewed several women who’d created these boards and eventually those things or ideas on the board came to fruition. They say seeing is believing though.

I immediately jumped on the vision board bandwagon, planning to visit Wal-Mart and pick up a foam board and glue and cut up old magazines. I was pumped because I believe in laws of attraction. More importantly, I believe that faith in God will take you as far as you can go. However, you need to actually do some things to reach your goal.

Shortly thereafter, I thought to myself, “You ought to be ashamed of yourself.” LOL. I teach money management classes to low-income residents and one of the FIRST assignments is make a collage of what they hope to achieve through our program. I’ve explained the assignment so many times, gave my schpill about how important it is to put things down on paper, I can’t tell you. Had I done a collage or vision board?

Nope.

It’s time to stop talking the talk and walk the walk. I'll let you know how it turns out.
(Off to Wal-Mart to buy my board..)

http://www2.oprah.com/spiritself/slide/20080627/slide_20080627_284_106.jhtml

On To Some Better Stuff

2008-07-14T13:00:00.000-07:00

I just read the last maybe five or six posts and all of them were on this negative vibe. You know, me complaining, "venting" about the ish that really irks me to no end. That's all well and good. I'd much rather get my frustrations out than keep them bottled up. That's never a good thing.

Ironically, this weekend my mom asked me was I "unhappy." I said no, but if I based that answer on my posts and how I've been feeling maybe 30% of time, that would be a bold-faced lie. All of this venting about the things I don't like and I want to change--and I've not written about all of the tings that are RIGHT and GOOD with my life.

I'll start with Essence and how this one weekend has encouraged me to get up, get out and do something...

For starters, New Orleans is like my 2nd/3rd home. Home is where the heart is, so I was already off to a good start. After the strongest margaritas I've ever had from Serrano's, my LS and I had to take a stroll through Tar-get to sober up. Fast forward to Friday night's concert--->>>>>>>>>>>

I'm no longer ashamed to say as a grown-a$$ woman, I was HIGHLY entertained by Chris Breezy! I jumped up and screamed so loud, I had to calm my own self down. Hey...don't judge me. You watch that youngin grind and wind to Mad Cobra's Flex and see if you don't forget he's only 18!

KANYE.CHANGED.MY.LIFE.

I'm a fan. I have the albums. I watch the performances. I have some mixtapes. None of them do justice to his live show. His energy. His charisma is so inspiring.

"You ever wonder if you'll find your dream?"

Word.

The flashing lights (no pun intended), his message and the crowd all worked together to push one theme into my brain.

DETERMINATION

Now you know Ye' is some other ish sometimes, but listening to him explained everything. You deserve the best that God has for you. You just have to believe and go out and get it. Operative words being "get it." Not wait for it, but get it.

Saturday and Sunday were awesome, as well. We did the Convention Center. I met the dude himself, Roland Martin. He remembered me from a NABJ conference back in 2002. Sunday's itinerary was wonderful. We got the word from Pastor D, Juanita Bynum and I finally saw my favorite gospel group, Tye Tribbett and GA. Check it out:

Do you see my future boss in the red? Angela Burt-Murray, Essence editor-in-chief (Claim it!)

To top that off, my old college roomie gave me a free ticket to Sunday's show to see Mary J. and Maze.

Mary....I heart you. She poured her heart and soul out onto the stage. She shed tears. She talked to us. All 20,000 of us! Words cannot express her performance. The entire week, I've been on Kanye and Mary. Good stuff.

Frankie Beverly and Maze: The REAL Headliners. They never disappoint. I was told I had wear all white to the show because Frankie Beverly wears all white. I guess my white graphic tee with metallic lettering worked.

Thanks, roomie! Love ya!

Happy Feelings, Golden Time of Day, We Are One, Before I Let Go

Ooh, Lawd, we were jamming. The Dome was packed with beautiful black people in white, doing the bus stop all over the place, dancing and singing to their folks.

I most definitely will be back next year!
So as you can see, life is still good. GREAT to be exact. It is what you make it. Next stop...the fam reunion in the BR.

Dontgetit

2008-07-14T11:54:00.000-07:00

I'm back from a week's worth of work and sleep. I know you want to see the Essence pics. However, I must move to more pressing issues at this time. Well, kids..I've to the realization for the 100th and final time that...

I just don't get it....

It could be myself and the way I feel, men or dating. Hell, let's just say "it" is all of the above.

This is what my issue has always been, apparently....according to other folks. I don't make myself avaialable or show enough interest. Hmm....before I totally disagreed. In my mind, if I held a conversation with you, went out with you, even answered the phone when a guy called or returned a phone call, that was showing interest. As I've gotten older, I realized that you can go out on dates with someone daily and still not feel any chemistry or assume there's interest there. Point taken.

So what is making yourself available, without being too available? Once I tell you what my day is like, but I'm free for the rest of the day, what else is there? I ask did you have anything in mind. You carry on with the conversation like whatever. So who's really unavailable?

This guy I'm "associating" with is about as weird as they come with this dating thing. And I'm not even sure I really like him. I don't have much to base it on, I guess. It seems to be more of a game than anything. I don't get it, nor do I have time for it. I need time to reflect on what's going on in my life. What am I thinking? What do I want? What am I afraid of? What am I ready for?

I can admit now that I was in a semi-major funk after leaving the Big Easy because I didn't see That One. Shame on me for feeling that way, but so what? I care about the boy. There, I said it. I was all looking forward to getting a lot of ish off my chest about us. Not to salvage some type of relationship, but to do it for me. For my own sake. Clear my conscience. Say everything I should've said, everything he ever wanted to hear since we met. I think I'd feel much better. Who cares how he feels about it? This was supposed to be about me!

So, of course, that didn't happen. After a complete week of catching up on sleep and wondering if I need to commit myself to a psychiatric ward (just kidding), I've getting over the idea of never seeing him again (again!). Whatever.

So that brings me back to my annoyance with the current dude and whoever decided to work my nerves this past week. I'm over this lil funk now, however. Time to move on to the next phase...figuring out what I want to do with my life because it has to get better. I'm most certainly blessed and thankful for everything God has done for me, but there's nowhere to go, but up now.

Time to get to work.

.....

2008-07-09T19:53:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I'm sitting here at my home desk when I need to be preparing for bed. It's only 10 p.m., by the way. Since I came back from New Orleans, all I want to do is sit in my room and look at the walls. Listen to my Tye Tribbett CD, think...think..think.

As proof that I have so much on my mind, I have even resorted to blogging at home. You know that I can't write in my room. Most blogging is done..you guessed it--on the JOB. I wish I could get out verbally how I'm feeling about this situation without feeling so terribly stupid or like my head is in the clouds. Maybe it is though.

I think that's all I'll write for right now though.

I have to put clothes in the dryer.

Good night...

Good Morning!

2008-07-08T11:21:00.000-07:00

Hey Kids!

I'm back from Essence and tired as ever! Never fear, I'll post random thoughts and a recap of the weekend with pics in few. For now, check out Jazmine Sullivan's first official video for "I Need You Bad." Later.

Feeling a Little Sleepy...

2008-07-03T12:49:00.000-07:00

I am just coming from a walk to Walgreens for some over the counter drugs. While in the elevator up to the penthouse, I thought of Xscape's "Feels So Good." THAT was my jam. Off the Hook is a classic. Even though I was in the eighth grade, you couldn't tell me I didn't know what she was talking about in "Who Can I Run To?" Ahh, the memories.

Dammit, the code to post is disabled on Youtube. Oh well...you remember the video, right?

This time tomorrow I will be in one of my favorite places--New Orleans---for Essensce Fest. I told my resident homie, this is my first time. Be gentle. Yes, I went to school and lived in Louisiana for five years, yet this is my FIRST time going to Essence.

???????

I know, right? We're going the first night with Ri Ri, Chris, J. Holiday and Kanye'. I'm so excited. Not too excited about that drive though. But it is what it is.

Drinks, some good food, good music and people. Can't beat that in my book.

In other non-Essence news, I hope to get freed of some things this weekend--speaking of Independence Day. Okay, I didn't speak of it yet, but everyone knows tomorrow is the 4th. We'll see how that goes. I'm taking notes on 3x5 index cards and carrying them with me all weekend. I have some ish to say!!

You think it's a game. But it's so.not.

Happy Independence Day! Have fun and be safe.

Intern With Clutch Magazine

2008-07-03T07:18:00.000-07:00

We are currently seeking detail-oriented, creative, and enthusiastic interns to join our team. Intern candidates should be well organized and self-motivated, with strong writing skills and a strong interest in digital media including a broad familiarity with media websites and blogs. If you are interested in becoming a part of Clutch, please send a resume, 2-3 writing samples, and a short cover letter to internships@clutchmagazine.com.

{*All internships are unpaid. College credit is available. Internships available in the following departments: fashion, beauty, lifestyle and pr/marketing.}

Through the Eyes of Someone Else

2008-07-01T11:55:00.000-07:00

It is apparent to me that we always see ourselves completely different from how others see us. Since Mr. Texter keeps in contact with me daily, trying to figure me out, he's gotten a very brief glimpse into the woman who is..me.

That doesn't say much, because I am complex. A complex simplicity, indeed.

Let's go back to this weekend. After getting delayed messages hours later, I missed out on his proposed quickie lunch date and met him at an outdoor mall near the restaurant, instead. Weird, right? Well, it was in the same complex as the restaurant, he'd already eaten and I needed to pick up some flip flops from Express. Walking around the store, I suggest he peruse through the graphic tees and he quickly gives me the no-sir. Not his style, he said. What-ever. He quietly takes a seat at the front of the store when he sees my eyes light up. Think: Take An Additonal 20% Off Redline Items. You get my drift, right?

I purchase only my flip flops (forgot my coupon!) and continue to saunter (as my mama says) around the mall. Light cotton wrap dress, flat gladiator sandals, bangle bracelet and oversized bag. Basically, just being me.

Yesterday, he tells me that I'm not what he pegged me to be. He says, "You're girly!"

Ladies and gentlemen, that is the understatement of the year. I mean, just last night, I started and ended WWIII trying to kill a fly with a shoe. I got his ass, too, btw! He likes the great outdoors. I do, too, if the temperature is just right, a beach is nearby and I can relax with a plate of delicious food and a drink. He likes golf. I do, too, if Putt-Putt counts. I am a GIRLY GIRL. So I ask him what did he think of me. He thought I had a "rougher edge." Umm, okay. Whatever you say, sir. How'd you come to that conclusion?

"Uhh, I don't know."

Exactly. And I don't either.

Today I am....

2008-07-01T09:11:00.000-07:00

aggravated. For reasons I care not to discuss. How about just for GP? Is there a such a thing as POST menstrual syndrome?

Off to WebMD....

It's Monday

2008-06-30T10:01:00.000-07:00

So, it's Monday and it's not going exactly how I hoped it would. This was going to be a day of revitalization in terms of writing and job applications, money matters, blah blah blah. For starters, my phone hasn't been connected to the Internet since yesterday. And I procrastinated, as usual on getting a flight to Chicago, so I spent half of my mornng on the phone with customer service folks. Ughh!

Next, I call my mom to holler at her and of course, more news on Granny. It's so very depressing. Not the news itself, but my mom's outlook on it. I was going to visit her today anyway. I'm hoping for the best.

I wrote my first blog for Skirt! Magazine. It's a neat magazine for women, so you should definitely check it out.

Yesterday, the parental unit and I watched "Cover," a suspense thriller about infidelity, etc. Somewhat similar to Motives, but that's number one in my book as far as straight-to-DVD movies go. Can't beat Shemar! It had a very cliche' plot, yet it was still packed with suspense. Well, more confusion than anything. After watching it, I almost wept because a lot of things in that movie were real. A reality I don't want to see, I guess.

There was a segment on 60 Minutes about DNA testing. You know, the story about how the black woman found out she was related to a white man in Utah somewhere. That one. The story was heart-warming, but in a 15 minute segment, the reporter (white) called us several different monikers: African American, Black Americans, American Blacks (wtf?), Black. Regardless of what you or we prefer to be called on the scale of politcal correctness, can we just be consistent for the sake of journalism? Any editor in his/her right mind would demand that the reporter or writer be consistent throughout the story.

That really bothered me, as you can see!

-Out for Lunch