Quarterlife Mocha Girl

Thursday, September 13, 2007

A Thin Line Between...

It's true that I don't like discussing too much of the love life (or the lack thereof) on this blog. Most times, it could make for an interesting post, but I'm always having conflicting thoughts about relationships. I don't want to sound like a ranting lunatic, so I just opt out.

After a recent conversation (just hung up) with The General (my mama, not my man), I am forced to think about some things. As if I didn't have these same thoughts just this weekend! Me and the youngin are still going. I wouldn't say strong, but we're going. Let me do a disclaimer by saying that I have and probably always will be a late bloomer. From everything boobs (still don't really have those, but they'll do) to sex to relationships, I was late. I'm not trippin either. Just the facts of my life.

At the ripe age of 26, I've tried to play Big Girl (a phase I should have gone through years ago) and say that I'm good where we are--doing what we do. It was even me who suggested it, making assumptions about how I thought he felt about being with me. We're on that fine line of togetherness and not-so. We hang out, we like each other, we talk everyday, etc. It was going well for about two weeks, but Big Girl, I am not. I am one big ball of emotion---a pansy, as my best male friend calls it. In a week or two I've gone from trying to have a "some strings attached" relationship, to outright wanting him to be my "boyfriend" to wanting to be done with it, PERIOD. Your boy has made it semi-clear that he's so content with our status (and why wouldn't he be?). That made me think: Hmmm, he has some years left in the game. I know what I was about at 23--FUN! Age 27 is around the corner and it's time for something serious. Atleast a little serious.

I'm thinking I could playing myself. I think it may be time to draw the line and just stop doing whatever I'm doing with him. No harm intended. Like Keysha said, that's just the way it is.

I discussed it with some friends and they said I could be jumping to conclusions or even sabotaging something pretty good. I don't even know.

Do I believe that just because 30 is closer than close that I should have a man to be complete? Absolutely not! But it would be nice. I'm patient and trusting in God to send me who He wants me to have. Perhaps this experience was simply to open my emotions up. Remember, I DO have the emotion of a rock, according to some people! I think I'm over that now. Sometimes it's not your emotions out of whack so much as it is the person you're dealing with.

So, it's time for that good chat. I'll let you know how it turns out.


  • At September 13, 2007 at 1:35:00 PM PDT, Blogger *B* Fab said…

    I hope it all goes well girlie! I have SO been through your emotions lol all in a matter of a few days LOL! it's so funny when you can sit back and look at it, truthfully. But what will be will be and if you all are having fun and haning out, maybe try not to Carrie Bradshaw it and push for an answer, just chill and have fun! And yeah 30 is knocking on all our doors, and NO we don't need a man, but damn if it wouldn't be nice ;-)

    Besos, *B*

  • At September 14, 2007 at 9:10:00 AM PDT, Blogger Robynone said…

    This is probably the hardest issue to handle. I've been in the exact situation, on and off for about three weeks now. Except the ages are reversed, my man is older than me. Knowingly, prayer changes things and talking with people who know you and will keep it real with help out a lot. In the end, I believe it's what you really want to do- letting that person go or sticking it out to see where the journey leads you (two).

  • At September 14, 2007 at 9:20:00 AM PDT, Blogger Southern_Lady said…

    Thanks for the comments, ladies! I'm good for now. I was on some emotional stuff yesterday. Eww!!! lol


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