A Thin Line Between...
After a recent conversation (just hung up) with The General (my mama, not my man), I am forced to think about some things. As if I didn't have these same thoughts just this weekend! Me and the youngin are still going. I wouldn't say strong, but we're going. Let me do a disclaimer by saying that I have and probably always will be a late bloomer. From everything boobs (still don't really have those, but they'll do) to sex to relationships, I was late. I'm not trippin either. Just the facts of my life.
At the ripe age of 26, I've tried to play Big Girl (a phase I should have gone through years ago) and say that I'm good where we are--doing what we do. It was even me who suggested it, making assumptions about how I thought he felt about being with me. We're on that fine line of togetherness and not-so. We hang out, we like each other, we talk everyday, etc. It was going well for about two weeks, but Big Girl, I am not. I am one big ball of emotion---a pansy, as my best male friend calls it. In a week or two I've gone from trying to have a "some strings attached" relationship, to outright wanting him to be my "boyfriend" to wanting to be done with it, PERIOD. Your boy has made it semi-clear that he's so content with our status (and why wouldn't he be?). That made me think: Hmmm, he has some years left in the game. I know what I was about at 23--FUN! Age 27 is around the corner and it's time for something serious. Atleast a little serious.
I'm thinking I could playing myself. I think it may be time to draw the line and just stop doing whatever I'm doing with him. No harm intended. Like Keysha said, that's just the way it is.
I discussed it with some friends and they said I could be jumping to conclusions or even sabotaging something pretty good. I don't even know.
Do I believe that just because 30 is closer than close that I should have a man to be complete? Absolutely not! But it would be nice. I'm patient and trusting in God to send me who He wants me to have. Perhaps this experience was simply to open my emotions up. Remember, I DO have the emotion of a rock, according to some people! I think I'm over that now. Sometimes it's not your emotions out of whack so much as it is the person you're dealing with.
So, it's time for that good chat. I'll let you know how it turns out.