This Might Be a Long One

What's up? It's been a minute, I guess. First, isn't she the cutest lil thing, even though she's upset? Anyway.

The saying goes, "Think, so you are" or something like that. Yesterday I learned the power of the mind is a fool. I had another money management class at company that we were contracting with. Over time, the classes have gotten better and better. Increased attendance, good feedback about the class (and yours truly), just good stuff. Due to some major company/media issues, the company backed out of the contract, making yesterday the last hurrah. There was talk of negotiating to keep the contract, provided that we show them the evaluation results---good results.

So there I went, being crazy as hell and putting extra pressure on myself to do extrememely well. As if I don't do that already. Normally about 30 people sign up. This time about 53 people signed up. I expected atleast half to show up and I was right.

All day before the class (6-9 p.m.), I was in a bad mood. Not wanting to do the class for fear that I would bomb. Is that crazy or what?? But that's me and I don't know how to not be that way. On the way to the site, I listened to my Tye Tribbett CD, let all bad feelings go and said a prayer.

The class, in my opinion, was not hot. At all. I was talking my life away and I lost myself. What the hell was I saying? Was it making sense? Have you ever went off on a tangent talking and at the end it's all a blur? You can't remember a thing you just said?

On top of that, there were some "bad apples" in the class who talked and laughed the whole time. If you don't want to be here, why not leave? I'm sure there are many other things you could be doing. Like playing in traffic.

Anyway, I went in with the wrong frame of mind and attitude and that's what happened. I'm sure it wasn't as bad as I think. The evaluations are halfway decent, actually. I've got to do better with this thinking. I'm usually a positive person. Is that what The Secret is about?

Here's my horoscope for today:

Aries (3/21-4/19)
Today, don't worry about having unrealistic expectations. Let yourself dream big!

Something good did come out of that class. A participant asked me would I consider doing a workshop for her church. Of course, I would! I've been thinking about starting my own business on the side doing either workshops or writing, or both. Maybe this is a start. We'll see.

This is where this whole Quarterlife Crisis thing comes in. Read Deeprootedconfusion's post here. I really needed it today.