The Candy-Snatchers

Maybe...just maybe I'm PMSing, but I doubt. I felt the same way two weeks ago. Please, check the foolery...

My office is small. The facility, as well as the number of people on staff. I guess it's the age-old stereotype of a non-profit. If you don't have an office with an actual door, be prepared to have your business on Front Street. Phone calls, whether business or personal become common knowledge. That includes conversations about refraining from using birth control or hormone pills, fertility treatments or cocktail socials which turn into pissy-drunk socials with in-laws. All this from either my co-worker whom I share an office with (I call her my roommate) or the I Know Every-damm-thing chick across the hall. Sweet when she wants to be, but sometimes, I just.don't.get.her. I think it's meant to be.

Okay, that's the set-up.

Anyway, we have several "committee" meetings with board members, community leaders, etc. frequently around here. A couple of weeks ago, a meeting was held with a committee chair who happens to love chocolate candy, apparently. So Miss Know-it-all (who is the undercover president assistant) stocks up on all kinds of candy: Reese's, Mini-Snickers, Rolos (yeah, I said it), Twix, Hershey's Kisses, etc. Needless to say, after the meeting, there were bags and bags left, unopened.

Usually, they put the candy out in the conference because even though it's only eight people in here, tops, the candy is a goner. Waste not, want not, right?

My roommate asked MKIA where the candy was and she says, "Oh, it's in my drawer."

Huh? Why the hell is it your drawer? Do you plan to drown yourself in chocolate for the next millenium?

Before you think I'm being petty, check out her rationale. "Well, everytime we put out candy, it just disappers so fast. People just ravish it...Uughh! So I'm keeping it in my drawer."

WTF? Am I missing something here? So you just plan to let it "sit" there without dipping in? Gimme a break like Nell.

Who died and made you the Office Candy Lady? Maybe I'm trippin. And not because I want some of the candy. It's not like it's full-size candy. Beat it, chickadee!

So....

Weeks later after she told "a few" people about the stash, she comes in here to say, "Oh my God, can you believe it? Before I left last week, there was ENTIRE bag of Snickers and today, they're gone! This UN-believable! Why does this keep happening?"

A full-fledged bitch-fit...about....Snickers! Buy some more with the COMPANY (not personal) credit, along with a life!

I be damned if she think it was me (because it wasn't!). Like we're still slaves running to the bottom of the basement steps to swallow mini-Snickers whole. Beat it, lady!

Must be the invasion of the Candy Snatchers....