Quarterlife Mocha Girl

Monday, February 26, 2007

Hello, I'm the Shiznit...Are You Really?

Sometimes people are put in your life for....nothing. Maybe not so much nothing as the very opposite of the purpose you intended it to be. Just from knowing a certain person, I have discovered that I despise an insecure man. Not the man who looks insecure, wallowing in self-pity about what he doesn't have or who he is not with, but the man who puts himself out there to be the sh*t. He boasts about his house, his car, his job, his this and that, knowing he has issues. Deep issues.

Guess what honey? We can see straight through that fa sad. It's so very disgusting to me when a man says he likes a woman who is not materialistic and just wants him for him. Yet, every conversation turns into what he has has and how he ranks in comparison to other men. That is the most aggravating thing in the world. It sends me through the roof and makes my nerves extremely bad.

There was a time when I asked myself if I was blocking a blessing God had for me because I had this mental block up about being with this person on any level other than "just cool." I based it on how he used to be in the past and how others viewed him. That was shallow and immature, I'll admit, but it was what it was. Just because you meet every requirement on the check-off list (own home or apt, decent job, no kids, car) doesn't mean you fit the bill. What kind of person are you on the inside? Everyone has insecurities, but blatant proof of that is just so unattractive.

He showed his a$$ this weekend for the final time. Now I don't feel bad about throwing the deuces to him. A close friend said if you are the sh*t, you don't have to tell me. I'll know it and feel it. I don't feel it. Never have.

I always say when you get a feeling, THAT feeling that says something just ain't right--like Beyonce says, LISTEN. Some call it woman's intuition, I call it God speaking. LISTEN. I'm so glad I did.


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