Quarterlife Mocha Girl

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Lights Off

After a brief conversation and reflection on my social life, I realized something. I cut people off. No, I cut men off. Like lights off, utilities out, cut off. Forever. Damn near permanently. Let's take inventory, shall we?
A certain guy I dated (if that's what you wanna call it) years ago was not on my page. We were on the same level in terms of education, career, etc., but in other areas, we were off. Way off. I considered him immature and he made me feel...not the best. So naturally, I kicked him to the curb pronto. That worked for me. Even now when I see him he is still asking what went wrong, why we aren't together, yada yada.
This is the deal. When I cut the lights off, I do it with no warning. I just drop off completely. Call me and get the cold shoulder real quick. Is it nice? Not really. Considerate? Not so much. Slightly immature? Yeah, sometimes. But we all know I have this problem with communication. Anyway, I have gotten a little better. That was years ago, as I said before.
Present Day. The young man. Um...I thought we were no longer "dating" since we hadn't seen each other in weeks, close to months. We rarely talk. I tripped at first because I thought he disappeared. Then after I thought about it...the fact that it was a straight fling for me, my delayed playtime, it wasn't based on genuine feelings and was probably some type of defense mechanism for another situation...I was so good with the way things turned out. He calls occasionally on basic chit chat stuff. Nothing too heavy. I felt comfortable talking to him whenever about nothing relating to us, dating, sex, etc. Just friends.
Now he is calling more frequently on some other ish. Like regular lovey-dovey talk, wanting to discuss family issues, during the day no less. I'm not comfortable with it at all. Honestly, it almost repulses me. Dude, we don't get down like that anymore. Damn, I feel bad about that. He obviously needs someone to talk to, but I didn't think it was me.
Anyway, I don't know how to get over this cycle of cutting people off and out of my life. There are others whom I didn't mention. Sometimes, it's good, but other times, it's not. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know I should talk to him. Because clearly, he didn't get the memo. I am most definitely. I'm making progress remember? Calling at work always throws me off.
Am I the only like this?
P.S. Thanks for the anniversary comments! Love ya!

8 Comments:

  • At November 7, 2007 at 10:37:00 AM PST, Anonymous *B* Fab said…

    you are not alone! I cut ppl off SO fast! They don't even realize they are cut off until they call and, my number no longer works, they can't contact me via email - they get blocked - or IM - yeah childish, but hey, by any means necessary, GET OUT OF MY LIFE!

    It may be a bit drastic, but that is how I deal with life; if you are no good - be it men or friends - peace, you're gone. If you call, nah, I won't answer and please, don't speak to me if you see me in public; clearly there is a reason I don't get back to you?

    Anyways, I said all that to let you know that is how I roll. It's worked out pretty well for me :-) Plus, sometimes you gotta take the trash out - makes your house funky!

     
  • At November 7, 2007 at 12:42:00 PM PST, Blogger KBoug said…

    hey there! I def don't think its far from a common tradition. Whether we do it subconsciously or purposefully..cutting people out..lets us get them out of the way and onto better things. I'm still not sure if its the best thing to do...but as long as you are okay with it..thats all that matters right now. For me, the question would be if these people are trying to get back in...what are they going to do to come CORRECT.
    MUCH LOV!

     
  • At November 7, 2007 at 6:43:00 PM PST, Anonymous Dante said…

    I get tired of people fast and I always thought it was just me that cut them off like that. Glad to know I am not alone!

     
  • At November 7, 2007 at 6:58:00 PM PST, Blogger everythingiseverything said…

    Hey, if they aint worth ya time they just aint! It might not be "nice" but nice is not a nice word and you have to put you first, sometimes.

     
  • At November 8, 2007 at 7:36:00 AM PST, Blogger Girl Pimping said…

    I totally believe in severing ties...sometimes it's necessary!!

     
  • At November 8, 2007 at 7:57:00 AM PST, Blogger Little Lady said…

    My first time stopping by but I am the complete opposite when it comes to guys especially. If I really like them I have a hard time cutting them off, maybe because I don't want to be seen as the bad person

     
  • At November 12, 2007 at 2:02:00 PM PST, Blogger S. Parks said…

    GIRL!!!
    I SO do this & don't mind doing it!
    Hate on ME H8Rs!

     
  • At November 13, 2007 at 1:01:00 PM PST, Blogger Skinny Black Chick said…

    I always keep scissors in my purse, because I'm quick to cut folks off. I don't think that there's anything wrong with that philosophy either. No use in hanging on to toxic people. Cut 'em off and keep it movin!

     

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