Quarterlife Mocha Girl

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Reflections

Last night was a night of reflection for me. It'd been bothering me that I couldn't find anything to blog about that hasn't already been covered on the 13,988 blogs I ready daily. There are some things on my mind that of course, I care not to discuss here, but I do have an idea.

Since my quest to take a quick nap after work was banished by my need to watch Baldwin Hills (Damn you, Gerren. Damn you!) and True Life:I'm a Compulsive Shopper, I actually stayed up for awhile in a slump. I'm still on this thing about me finding out what I ultimately should be doing. Should I continue to apply for jobs out of state? Do I REALLY need to move away right now? Is my current job where I should be or is PR/journalism the way? No doubt, I'm confused as hell. I talked to God (as I do daily) and just asked him to show me something. And if he's showing me, open my eyes even wider where I can see. Please!

Not to mention, with all of my traveling and catching up with people, last night was the first time in about month that I was in solitude. I was actually lonely. Not alone and chillin like I usually am. I was lonely. It sucked terribly. So I asked God to take that feeling away, as well.

On a whim, I pulled out an old tattered black, spiral notebook, which was my "journal" back in 1998-99. I'd recently pulled all of my notebooks and journals from my old bedroom at home when my niece stayed a few nights. She is some kind of nosey! I had written about 55 poems in a section of the journal. I decided to read them and see what was on my mind at 17 years old.

Damn, they were really good! I can't imagine that I had some of those feelings to be so young. Some of the poems clearly didn't reflect my life, but just things that I thought were important. From a wake up call to Black men (still so relevant!) to young women having to sacrifice for their children, love and faith. It was all there. I was blown away. How I wish I had that drive and will to write like that now. I remember sitting in my room with no television or radio on and just writing. Good stuff.

I was inspired all over again. Maybe it won't be poems this time around (I think I'm too free-flowing for that), but it'll be something. With that being said, do you keep a journal? If so, how long have do so and how has it helped you?

5 Comments:

  • At August 1, 2008 at 7:01:00 AM PDT, Blogger NaturallyAlise said…

    I have kept a journal since about 14 years old (I am now 29), with a big gap of neglect through the college years because I was so busy doing con/de - structive things. It is a strange mix of a diary, poems, crude drawings of God knows what, and my favorite: words of the day (I try to learn a new word a day)..... I was a lonely only child and that was my escape. The funny thing is that as much as I have evolved as a person, those journals reveal emotionally I am very similar (in good and bad ways), and I still have things I need to work out...... sorry I let my thoughts get away from me and wrote you a book, lol

     
  • At August 2, 2008 at 10:32:00 AM PDT, Blogger B-More BAP said…

    Journaling - I'm so inconsistent, but my blogs are the most consistent pieces I write.

    Poetry - I write often, but haven't been inspired recently.

    It's good to hear that you found some inspiration in an unlikely place.

    Happy Weekend :-)

     
  • At August 3, 2008 at 12:23:00 PM PDT, Blogger A Go Bytch said…

    hey there....

    I use to keep a journal when I was in elementary school but after I found out my mom read it.. I haven't kept one ever since. I did start writing in those little calendars with the cool covers when was in high school carefully coding what I did with highlighters....LOL those were the days.

    I use my blog as a semi-journal but even then I have some things way too personal for the world wide web you know....

    have a good Sunday

    Go B.

     
  • At August 3, 2008 at 9:37:00 PM PDT, Blogger Eb the Celeb said…

    Ever since I started blogging it seems that I only write in my journal when something is really bothering me and too personal to put out there for the blog world... so since I basically put everything out there on my blog... I have only written in my journal like 3 times in the past year

     
  • At August 4, 2008 at 2:14:00 AM PDT, Blogger sugaHoney said…

    I havent written in a journal since high school, but I recently started a part time job at one of my most favorite places in the world, and we happen to get shipments of beautiful journals all of the time. I feel like buying 3 or 4, but I'm worried that I will neglect them.

    Too free flowing for poetry? Sounds like thats whats actually needed for you to get started. lol A friend of mine is getting married in 2 weeks and she insists that I perform a piece during her ceremony, but Ive been able to come up with nada...sigh

     

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