Quarterlife Mocha Girl

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Man Recipe

I've gone through my morning ritual of reading my blogs. Not one, not two, but three of regs had something to do with relationships. I'm so sick of this ish! If I read one more email, blog, book, article about how to get, keep, maintain, sex, marry a man, I'll scream!!! Yes, I do this to myself--immersing myself in the internet and media. There's always a story on what to do to please a man: cook, play hard to get, be forthcoming, but not too much, have sex with him if you want, but don't do it too soon. Yadda, yadda, yadda.

Geez, it's ridiculous! We've become afraid to be ourselves. We're so busy wondering if we're wifey material, the jump-off or the peice on the side. We haven't even taken the time to be ourselves. How do I know? Because I've done it. I am the QUEEN of playing hard to get, not calling, getting back at and "keeping it playa" (compliments of my Houstonian BFF). Where has it gotten me? Nowhere fast! While I'm seen as a mystery and guys do have this admiration for The Chase, the shit gets old. Hell, I'm tired of doing it.

Let's note that I'm not in (or anything related to) a relationship, so I'm on chill mode. But reflecting on past situations, I have played MAJOR games. How dumb. The most basic rules of men and women don't and probably won't ever change. I think I'm safe in saying that women even two decades ago were fairing a lot better than us now when there were less self help books and persons who profit off of our guilibility (is that a word?). I don't see literature for men on how to get a woman, etc. Go figure. Maybe it's true that it's a man's world (Damn you, James Brown, but rest in peace!).

The fact is that we will never think or act like men and vice versa. What we should do is use common sense. Unfortunately, it's hard to find when matters of the heart are concerned.


  • At February 25, 2009 at 10:10:00 AM PST, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    This is so crazy because I was thinking the samething as I read through all the blogs I read daily. Why is there so much pressure on women when it comes to relationships? and we fall for them. JUST BE YOUR DAMN SELF, IF HE DON'T LIKE YOU TELL HIM TO KICK ROCKS, because someone out there will fall in love with you and worship the ground you walk on.

  • At February 25, 2009 at 10:44:00 AM PST, Blogger Go B. said…

    ahhh. girl..who are you telling I've been single for what? Five years now. I couldn't imagine being single this long in my early twenties. But the pressure about getting a man is on "black women" have you noticed?

    Yeah it's easy to be yourself but the problem is they don't like "real"


  • At February 27, 2009 at 2:37:00 PM PST, Blogger kimkim said…

    Lol even for my own blog I said to myself that I need to take a step back from relationships. I'm tired of going through the BS with men but I'm SOOOO TIRED of talking about being tired of going through it, lol. ENOUGH! This last mishap was enough to last me for a while so I'm not dating AT ALL. I don't even really want to flirt. I've read enough books to reaffirm the things I ALREADY knew-be yourself, be honest about what you want up front and don't settle for less than you deserve. I already do all of this so, until a man comes across my way that's doing this as well, I'll pass....


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