Quarterlife Mocha Girl

Thursday, June 21, 2007


This is a note copied from a friend's blog. Even though I knew about this before, reading it now put a new spin on things for me.


Ok so I have been promiscuous in my life and now looking back I do not regret what I have done but I had to ask myself where has that gotten me besides instant gratification and lowered self-esteem? Now ya'll know the saying that once you give it up the man is not interested in you anymore and he will start to stray...well now I am a firm believer of that. Please know that everytime we lay down with a man we are bonding our souls with that person for life until we ask for God to release that bondage. This bonding that occurs after/during sex or during intimacy (kissing, touching, etc) is due to a chemical named Oxytocin. Oxytocin is released during orgasm in both sexes; in the brain, oxytocin is involved in social recognition and bonding, and also involved in the formation of trust between people (internet definition).

So how has this chemical affected our lives and our relationships?

Every time we lay with a man that chemical, Oxytocin, takes a mental picture of that situation. It will remember his cologne, it will remember his natural smell, it will remember how his touch heightened our senses, it will remember those songs that were playing in the background (so every time we driving in the car and that "In Between the Sheets" or "Honey Love" is playing we get flashbacks and we are tempted); also it will create a bond that you will share with him forever. Now I don’t know about everyone else but there has been a few guys that when I am around them I lose my mind and do stuff that I wouldn’t do. When I see that man again I go crazy and that chemical, Oxytocin, starts reigniting that flame / that bond that I had with him before so that when he talks to me or he brushes by me or I'm in the club and "Cross my Mind" is playing and he walks in the door, I start to reminisce on his scent, on his touch. And when that happens I lose to temptation and even though he was never a good person for me I still deal with him.

When I heard this broken down for me by Ty Adams I lost my mind. I was like that is why I did this and did that. God says that the tongue is an unruly fire and that when it is released you cannot control it. With that being said temptation is not only sex but also kissing and touching.

The crazy thing is that Oxytosin has several purposes: (a) in women it is released mainly after distension of the cervix and vagina during labor, and after stimulation of the nipples, facilitating birth and breastfeeding; meaning that its use is to create an everlasting bond with a Mother and her Child and (b) it is released between a wife and her husband to create an everlasting bond between them. God created this chemical for those reasons so why are we abusing this blessing and creating bonds with men who are not our husband nor our child?

I hope that everyone takes the time and really reads this because it answered a lot of questions in my life. Like for those relationships we have been in for years that we knew/know from the bottom of our hearts is love but it is not love; however, we forged a bond with him by releasing that chemical and we were blinded by sex and infatuation and we missed out on our blessings. And since we as women are emotional creatures we then take this chemical and mix it up with love; we then believe we are in love with someone and you can see all the signs that he is not the one but you still give him yourself all because of Oxytocin. That is why when you lay with man you feel a connection even though it may be a booty call or if its your boyfriend you feel a bond that calls you back for more even though it is not what you should be doing. But remember there is deliverance and that is in God.

Let me know what you think and give your comments. Ty Adams is on the internet http://www.tyadamsonline.com/

Let me know your thoughts. I could relate.


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