Here We Go

It's been a lot going on. Really and truly. Well, maybe not so much, but still...you know what I'm saying. Right? This is what's been going on.

An article that I wrote for a local magazine was finally published after an infinity. I hope it doesn't take that long to get my check! They were mailed yesterday. Umm hmmmm....

Me and that youngin'.....I don't know what to say...stay tuned.

A friend and I were discussing that our PMS is never the same from month to month. Is that TMI? So what? Like it has a monthly theme. For example, one month, it's a crying fest, then I'm the exorcist reincarnated, this month, I was on the mushy/affectionate deal. Being a woman is hard work. I need to get paid for it.

No, I never said, but the "friend" popped up again. The one with the GF. Dammit. I'm so over that and so over him. And I'm so in Bible Study every Wednesday. God help me.

The security guard at the hotel parking lot across from job, aka the Parking Lot Pimp, tried to holler today. I tried to be nice. "Oh thanks for the compliment! Thanks, but I'll pass." Then he looks at me and asks, "So what, I'm not good enough for you???" Whaaaattt???? I just looked at him and kept it moving. I could have said, "No that's not it, sir. You're the PLP and old enough to be my mama's old school ex-BF and your hips are bigger than mine! Don't blame it on the cuffs and flashlight. I know man-hips when I see em. Now beat it!" But I didn't. Seee? Told you I'm nice!

I can now high-five Claire Huxtable because I know the power of a foot rub. Ummph. That may not sound like a lot to you, but I used to hate my feet. And they don't even look half bad. I never wanted to wear flip flops or show my feet, especially to a guy. But I did. Eventually, as I got older, I said, Freak that! These toes need to breath. Exhale.

This past weekend I attended a fashion show put on by a friend from high school. It was pretty darn good. Except the crowd was quite conservative, yet the show was hip hop/urban. The entertainment consisted of music by the following:

Hometown favorite Playa Fly who had to be put in a muzzle and straight jacket to give up the mic. The song is over, dude. No one cares that you "been gone fa so looonng. Now I'm back, back!"--even if you say it 100 times back to back.

The super-crazy Computer from Adventures in Hollyhood. Cowboy hat and all, he's is definitely a fool.

The Fat Mack, Eightball and some no-name dude. Ball, I really need you to not look like you threw on some clothes to drop off your Blockbuster DVD and pick up a six-pack of Budlight, then go do a performance. Put some damn decent clothes on. Sheesh!

And what happened? They got NO love from the audience. You could hear the leaves hit the concrete outside. Hilarious.

On another note, I saw my secret high school crush at the show. I'd seen him maybe once before since we graduated eight years ago. He came over and chopped it up with me. It was good to see him. He was with his GF. Cute. Maybe I'll put that on our reunion website. Like he didn't already know. Awww, memories...

I had a blast at a friend's spa party this weekend. Part of the old clique came back home and we kicked it at the house. Extremely relaxing. Wine, daiquiris and chocolate covered strawberries. Yummy.

I told my mother about all of my recent incidents with the opposite sex. Yeah, forgot to tell you. I don't discuss any of that with her. And I should. I'm getting better. When she asked me if I "gave the Friend some" I almost spit out my drink. That's mama for ya though.

My six year cousin became "urbanized" overnight. He taught me how to crank dat soldier boy, lean/rock with it and walk it out in less than three minutes. Then he asked me had I heard the Same Girl Rmx with T-Pain. Said it was tight. WTF?