Thoughts For The Day
My mother once told me (recently) that I was "like a ship without a sail." I thought she was being melodramatic, which she is known to be often. I was offended. I thought, how am I lost? I have a steady job, I don't float from city to city. Whenever I'm at a particular place in my life, I stay put until it has run its course.
Once again, Mama may be right. I dont' know what it is, but lately, I have not been happy with myself. Everything has been getting to me, from men to coworkers to my own thoughts. I'm mad, angry and just aggravated. A couple of days of that behavior is normal, but damn near three weeks. I don't know if I'm coming or going. What will I do with my life? So many people are telling me what they think I should do, but I still don't know. At first I thought it was because I'll be 28 soon. Then something else came to mind.
For the longest I have been thinking about everything I want to do--from simple birthday stuff to vacations and real life career stuff, etc. It's always been about me, me, me. Often I don't stop to ask God what does He want for me? Could that be the problem? Though I am not fasting anything during Lent, I have really tried to take an introspective look at myself---the good and the bad. I think I've found the bad. So, I've been asking for clarity in my life in ALL areas and for a spirit of doing rather just thinking. I want to HAPPY and CONTENT. I want to love and not lockdown, and smile rather than all of this frowning I've been doing lately. It's not me.
Yesterday I asked that He make plain whatever it is that I am missing. So in the meantime, I'm just waiting. Whew, I feel better already.
Have a wonderful day.