Quarterlife Mocha Girl

Sunday, December 10, 2006

I Need Therapy...Like Foreal

What do you say when a close relative tells you you need to see a therapist because you find something wrong with most men you come in contact with??

Exactly...... I guess I couldn't argue with that, but at the same time, am I THAT bad? Is it my fault that I attract the wrong men? Wait, don't answer that! Anyway, I've made a short list of things that I don't like in men. Some they can help, some they can't. Oh well, here goes. Let me know if I'm normal or if I need to go lay on the couch. This is in no particular order. These are what I call NO DEALS.

Insecurity. Sure everyone has them. I'm no execption. But let's not put them on blast to the world. Gets no pity from me.

Small hands. I'm 5'10, so that's a negative for me. I once dated a guy whose small hands snuck up me. Drinking from a "big glass" looked like a 3-year-old holding the statue of liberty.

Tapered-leg jeans. Dude, let them go. Stop suffocating them ankles, alright? It's not a good look, unless you're trying to get that Hee Haw thing going again.

Sagging pants. While we're on the attire. This is not the set of Menace II Society, you are not O'Dog and it's not the mid-90s, so why in the heezy are you sagging your pants? It wasn't hot then and it's not hot now. Please note that no one in their right mind wants to know what your underwear looks like. And what's the point of sagging them if you're pulling them up every three seconds? Just come outside with no pants on, it's just the same. Finally, if you're grown-ass man like you say, sagging should be considered...(in my French accent) how do you say??? UNCIVILIZED.

Dead teeth. What is a dead tooth, you ask? ROTTEN. Discolored. Lacking life or feeling. Again, this snuck up on me. Note to self (and you)Never give a guy your number in a poorly lit place. Only God knows what he and his teeth really look like!

Conceitedness. Ain't nothing wrong with have confidence. It's quite sexy. BUT, let's not take it to the extreme. Some chick(s) have imeegidly dropped the draws and blow you up with phone calls and texts, now you think you're big shit. Um, no. Not in my book.

Let me elaborate. The guy fits the bill, checks off all necessary requirements. Good job, educated, no kids (visible), own place, car, good looks. Yep they come a dime a dozen these days, but does that mean they have to act like they're a top commodity? So irritating. Then again, some people are just born conceited.

Rudeness (i.e. NO damn home-training) Do you not have any common respect? Do you not know what to do and when not to do it? I once had to straight go off on a guy because he was fooling with his new TRIO palm pilot thing the whole time we were having drinks. Who do I look like? Not sexy sir! I had to get this one out for my friends. If you see me out and you come to say hello, great. But acknowledge the people I'm with, instead acting as if they're invisible. Open yo damn mouth and speak. Again, common courtesy. Learn it and live it!

Whew! That took a lot out of me. Can you tell I was getting mad as I was writing? Damn, maybe I do need to see a shrink...

1 Comments:

  • At January 11, 2007 at 9:11:00 AM PST, Blogger deeprootedconfusion said…

    I have a few things to add to that list. Wearing the same outfit two days in a row and most importantly a man who can't be found when the sun goes down. No!! Not because he has a dark complexion, but because you can't reach that nigga by phone, text message, e-mail, IM, home phone, personal messager, message in the bottle nothing.

     

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