Woman Up

It's 10:34 p.m. on a Sunday night. I should be folding this huge pile of clothes on my bed so I can actually get in the bed...Instead, I'm sitting here, listening to Faith Evans' first album, Faith and typing this blog.

Yesterday, some things took place that have put things in perspective for me. You already know that I have an issue with telling people, mainly the opposite sex, my true feelings. For example, if I'm just not into him (anymore) or if I never was or if there is simply no potential for anything to be, I have a hard time expressing that. That's absolutely crazy because they probably don't care either way. I drop hints all day every day and where has it ever gotten me? Nowhere fast!

Case and point:

Scenario #1
A guy a met at a club turned out to have three children with a BM who he nearly married. The first conversation he asked me if I was sleeping with anyone because he wanted to know if I was "emotionally attached" to someone. Who says one has to do with the other all the time?? Anyway, sorry buddy, you're not my cup of tea! I ignored his relentless text messages and phone calls. Finally after a couple of weeks, communication on his part ceased. Mission accomplished!

I'll be damned if dude didn't call me yesterday--twice. I never saved his number, so I'd long forgotten about him. An unknown number came up on the phone, but it looked a tad familiar, so I called it back. Stupid! Dude, why are you still calling me? Why is my number even saved? He was on some, "You probably don't remember me because we didn't talk that much, but..."

After I realized who he was was, I put him on hold to catch another call. He sent me a message that said, "Did you forget about me or do I need to erase your number?"

I'll take the latter for $400, please!

Scenario #2
The youngin from the Summer '07 fling fizzled out for reasons that I know and some I don't. Bottom line is we were on two different levels in life. After he visited me earlier this year to reconcile, I froze up on telling him that I really wanted him to disappear into thin air on the spot (that's way harsh!). Good guy, but I think that's just the way I was feeling at the time. I lied and said everything was cool and while I didn't think we should see each other anymore, we could still be friends. I didn't really mean that, either.

He's still calling me to go "out to lunch" or to "come over" because we're still "friends" damn near a year later.

Scenario #3
A guy I've known for 10+ who has liked me since Heck was a pup will NOT give up on getting me. I play him to the left constantly and I've done some things that I wish I could reverse, so now it's time to have that talk with him about how it will never be. I even tried to justify "trying" to like him because he had a lot of things on the checklist ( no kids, homeowner, great job). It's so much more that needs to be considered though. He and I just will not work. I finally get it. Now it's time for him to get it, too.

I have to woman-up and just come out with it. I can't spare others feelings for my own anymore. No, I don't think these guys will fall apart because I'm so hot, etc. But I do know how people can be when they don't get what they want, but you know what? Tough titty! That's their issue, not mine. It'll keep me from dealing all this foolishness that could have been prevented on the front-end, if I would have spoken up.

Take that, take that!