Quarterlife Mocha Girl

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Saturday Thoughts

It's Saturday afternoon. I usually don't blog on Saturdays. You know that, right? Well, since I'm under the dryer in the privacy of my own home, I might as well talk, um, type about some things. I skipped out on my standing appointment with LaTrisha, my beautician (did you catch the Dream reference??) to save some moolah. I'm listening to Miss Keri, Baby and watching Unfaithful on mute (I'm wasting energy, but I love that movie).

Topic of discussion: Candy Girls. I will be honest, if I could be in another profession for a day, my second choice to being a professional writer, of course, would be a video girl. I would love to see how "hard" it is to stand on a set in little to no clothing around other catty women and men who might possibly degrade me---then I would write about it and shop to a magazine. I can't hate the game or those who play it, but I'm wondering what will happen when the next stable of pretty, thick girls come around and they're knocked out of the game indefinitely---or forever. Ride the tide while it's high, I guess.

Just now I saw the episode about Brooke, the bombshell hustler of the vixen game, who was dumped by her unofficial/official boyfriend after she was seen out on a date with another guy. Some rapper/producer named Red Cafe'. Never heard of him. Anyway. It was so many things wrong with this scenario. (1) I'm sure the allure of the entertainment world is very exciting, but being that she's in that environment constantly, she was was a little excited to be going out with a "rap-per/pro-duc-er!" He sent flowers the day before or day of the date, which was very sweet. (2) He shows up for the date and she gets all prettied up and he has on a studded cap, a white tee and jeans sagging with his drawers showing. He stands up and says, "What's up? Let's do this." No hug, no walking around to greet her, no kiss on the cheek. Just "what's up??" like she was one of his boys. Ewww. Whatev....maybe it was just a turn off for me.

Terrika mentioned that at this age (not sure how old they are), you don't check the box that has yes or no for boyfriend/girlfriend status. You pretty much fall into a relationship if you begin to answer to someone and tell them your whereabouts. I can't argue with that one, but it's still dumb. That's how wires get crossed and people are hurt. I don't care what she or anyone else says, WE (women) need to know whether or not we're in a relationship.

Because of that very situation, Brooke goes out with Red Cafe ( I hate that name, by the way. It should be the name of the club, not a person)and her boyfriend/friend breaks up with her through a text after hearing about it from someone else. All of the beauty and hot body in the world doesn't make you exempt from getting the ax. Oh well, it happens. What's even crazier is Terrika comes in to console her and they keep going back and forth about "I mean, if I was his bitch and he was my man..." WHAT??? I know a woman in a relationship being called a bitch is old----Biggie rapped about it back in '94, but I will never, EVER refer to myself as anyone's BITCH. You're either a bitch or a woman. Pick one, but if that's what you relate to, then great.

Our women are going to hell in a handbasket.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Tough Love

Ladies, if you haven't seen the show, watch it. It airs on VH1 on Sunday 10/9 Eastern. The premise of the show: Several women are coached on finding true love by a professional matchmaker who is pretty much cutthroat. I need him in my life, but since I can't afford him, the show will suffice.

From watching only two weeks of the show, I realize that all of my relationships, real and fake, have been completely dysfunctional and some of that is my fault. I'm in a drought more than I like because...I don't know how to date. I think I established that years ago, but now I have something to base it on. Let me bring you up to speed on the tips from "Tough Love."

1. When looking to meet guys, or at any time, look pleasant. SMILE.
2. Don't discuss these five issues on a first date: past relationships, religion, politics, finances and negative stuff. Although I've done it, I agree. I give this advice to my students for presentations. Atleast, if you present those issues, do it with ease.
3. Don't talk about your profession so much.
4. Texting should only on an "as needed" basis, until you are completely close/intimate with that person. Amen!!
5. When wearing slutty clothing, you will be treated as such: a slut. Period.
6. Eye contact is a good thing.
7. Sometimes we will miss our true love because of the tight lid we have on our criteria for a man. Example: If a women is in her mid/late thirties, it might be impossible to find a man who has never been married or doesn't have children. Also, don't expect to find a younger man, as he probably wants a younger woman, also.
8. Try not to give TMI (Too Much Information). Who wants to know immediately anyway?
9. Learn how to take a compliment. Example: If a guy compliments your new haircut, don't say, "Really? I hate it." Just simply say, "Thank you."

I can't remember anything else. These are just things I picked up on while watching. I haven't committed all of these dating crimes, but I most of them, I have. Shame. I was pretty aggravated about the fact that women have to jump through these hoops to "get a man." Didn't I just say that I was gonna stop reading and watching this stuff? We should be ourselves, right? Why follow all these rules. What happened to being real? Well, if being yourself doesn't get you anywhere...it's time for reinvention, I guess.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Thoughts For The Day

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. Proverbs 3:5-6 (NLT)

My mother once told me (recently) that I was "like a ship without a sail." I thought she was being melodramatic, which she is known to be often. I was offended. I thought, how am I lost? I have a steady job, I don't float from city to city. Whenever I'm at a particular place in my life, I stay put until it has run its course.

Once again, Mama may be right. I dont' know what it is, but lately, I have not been happy with myself. Everything has been getting to me, from men to coworkers to my own thoughts. I'm mad, angry and just aggravated. A couple of days of that behavior is normal, but damn near three weeks. I don't know if I'm coming or going. What will I do with my life? So many people are telling me what they think I should do, but I still don't know. At first I thought it was because I'll be 28 soon. Then something else came to mind.

For the longest I have been thinking about everything I want to do--from simple birthday stuff to vacations and real life career stuff, etc. It's always been about me, me, me. Often I don't stop to ask God what does He want for me? Could that be the problem? Though I am not fasting anything during Lent, I have really tried to take an introspective look at myself---the good and the bad. I think I've found the bad. So, I've been asking for clarity in my life in ALL areas and for a spirit of doing rather just thinking. I want to HAPPY and CONTENT. I want to love and not lockdown, and smile rather than all of this frowning I've been doing lately. It's not me.

Yesterday I asked that He make plain whatever it is that I am missing. So in the meantime, I'm just waiting. Whew, I feel better already.

Have a wonderful day.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

The Menstrual Meter

Today the Menstrual Meter is at a high rate. I'm irritable. Like totally. These days I feel like I'm looking for something to bitch about. That's not good and very out of character for me. Let's start with the workplace, shall we? Everything's going smoothly except some people always want to buck the system, you know? There's a certain way of doing things, so just do it that way. Moving on....

This weekend I was off the charts with the attitude. The cause of my frustration: PMS and men (see a pattern, here?). I called my guy BFF (that's so funny to me!) to vent and you know what he said? "You should go out." That probably made me even madder than what I was. Sometimes this advice can be useful, but I had already been out. On top of that the BFF gives me the same three pieces of advice: (1) You should wild out and get some action, (2) You gotta keep it playa, mane and (3) You gotta shake back--it'll be alright. I established on last night that 35 percent of the time, his advice is irrelevant to my situation and it sucks. He agrees, "True...I never said it would work, but it always works for me." Womp womp!

"You make bad choices in men. You don't know how to pick em."
-Poetic Justice

I'm still getting these cookie-cutter texts from Mr. DC. Why? Does that mean he really wants to talk to me or he really wants to text me? LMAO. I just knew after last week, I wouldn't hear (read)anything from him again. I was clearly wrong. You (as in the reader) know how I feel about text messaging. I thought about calling him and saying, "Hey, this is why I don't respond to you anymore. (Begin rant)." I could atleast do that because men aren't mind-readers, right? He doesn't know I don't do the TMs. I really did think about it and decided against it because even though he doesn't know how I feel about that, he could atleast pick up the phone to speak to me. Hell, we're over 1,000 miles away from each other, not in the same city.

Actually, it doesn't matter either way. I can't teach grown ass men what to do and what not to do. That's what you have your Mama for.

I got a text from Mr. Blue Collar (he actually has phone conversations, so it's a balance). He's very sweet, but I was once again igged by the fact that he's on this, "stop by and holler at you" thing. Not hot. Who am I, your next door neighbor? On two occasions I have mentioned meeting somewhere for drinks or something light. Something always comes up. Get the ___ out of here. I really don't want to find something to complain about, but this would be it. I have GOT to do better. This makes me want to go on hiatus and I was just on one. Hell, I'm always on a hiatus.

But then again, it could be the Menstrual Meter talking.