Quarterlife Mocha Girl

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

That's Yo' Baby?

That's what I asked after a certain someone confirmed that the cooing sound I heard in the background of our phone conversation was indeed, a baby.

The response: "Yeah." (But not with conviction, might I add!)

Me: "Oh...okay...."

Me again: "Wait, like that's your baby? Like foreal foreal?"

Response: "Yeah."

Me to myself: "Som ma bitch!"

My alter ego to him: "Tell him I said what's up!"

Me to him: "Oh...okay....(BLANK)."

Yep, you heard it here first, folks... I went blank. Nothing came out of my mouth. I was speechless. But not in the Beyonce way (I wish!).

So we have babies, chil'ren, lads, chaps, whippersnappers, crumb snatchers these days? Unbeknownst to me? On the low? DL kids?

This is crazy ridiculous. It's not like the majority of people my age don't have children. It's cool. I'm not trippin. But you decided to delete this information from any conversation we've had since when and for how long?

I thought I was doing something good when I decided to call and make nice. Tell him that I wanted my friend back and we should forget the past. Start fresh again. Of course, Mr. Persistent wants to live in the past and make the past my present. Let's be and do, etc....Beat it. Not going down. I'd had suspicions that there was a child lurking (does that sound bad?). With a long-term on/off again ole lady, it was bound to happen. My intuition was right. Granted I had semi-proof--hearsay that was about 75% believable. But the "nice girl" in me didn't want to believe it. Now I have confirmation. Always follow your gut is what they say. So true, so true.

The secret is exposed and I'm sure it wasn't supposed to be. I haven't communicated with him since. That was two days ago. Feeling guilty, are we? I have questions. Plenty. But, at this point, it doesn't even matter.

My Neck, My Back....

My neck and my back!! That's how I felt for about three days after I completed the 5 mile walk for the March of Dimes. After hearing a student's personal speeches about her experience with the March of Dimes and her premature daughter, I decided to participate. This was also my first activity with DST Memphis Alumnae.

That was the walk from hell! Up and down the trail, around the biggest lake I've ever seen. Then these guys from FedEx were playing around so everytime they came around, Sorors wanted to pick up the pace (run) to get ahead of them. After about two times, I was like, "Damn that..I'm chillin'." I went at my personal pace. It still didn't stop my ankles, feet, legs, calves and butt from aching. I pulled things that have never been pulled before. I am truly out of shape.

Did I mention my car got stuck in a muddy ditch after the walk? Yeah. I sat in my car and cried for maybe 10 seconds. I was hot, wanted a bath and was late for my hair appointment. I was so stressed, I didn't even think about calling Roadside Service. Another lady had already tried and the tow truck couldn't fit, so that was out anyway. Thankfully, a guy came and pulled both of out. And he didn't ask for anything in return. Now that's favor.

(This is not my car, but you get the idea)

My car was COMPLETELY COVERED in mud. Everyone was stopping me to find out what happened. I droved on the expressway with all windows down, because I couldn't see. The boys at the carwash clowned me for a good 15 minutes before they told me they couldn't do anything with the car. I had to spray it down first. I went up the street to the DIY carwash and did it myself!

What a Saturday, right? I topped it off by going home, getting clean and relaxed and buying a few things during Tax-free Weekend. Then the new guy and I went out for sushi. Yummy! Still no sparks, by the way, but whatev.
All is well that ends well.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Let's Not Get Ghetto

Today, I'm doing real work, so of course, I'm messing off. I hate putting together presentations. I'd rather go off the cuff, but it is what it is. I'm thinking about a lot of stuff. Nothing too serious.

I don't really care for the new Usher "Love in the Club" remix with B and Weezy. I'm sure it will grow on me once they start to play it out. I'm hating that reality show about the aspiring female rappers. Must you all look so horrible and busted? Eww. I'm loving the Real World 20. Yeah, 20. Why do I remember the first one in 1992? And why, if that was 16 years ago, are they on the 20th season, instead of 16? But I digress. That Will is a hottie. I feel dirty. I'm old enough to be his aunt! lol

And that Kim is going to get her a$$ beat. "Let's not get ghetto, okay?" Oh, is THAT right? Ignorance is bliss, I guess. Greg can kick rocks and bite bricks, but he's coming around. Insecurity and fear masked by cockiness overkill at its best! Joey is NOT one to mess with. CLEARLY. He looks like he could beat the breaks off ya, ya heard me?! Sarah..beat it. So sweet, but so 21. Let it be. Brianna: I just don't think she's albino. I think she's just fair. Maybe I'm wrong. But for now, teach me how to work that pole, girl. It's the inner-stripper in me.

I finally bought my ticket to the ATL for a min-vacation or as my linesister says, "pre-summer fun." I feel so liberated. I finally get to go somewhere else. Keep in mind that it's just Atlanta and it's not until Memorial Day Weekend (I'm booked solid until then!), but it needs to be the release that I've been needing. The one I didn't get for my birthday. The one I've been trying to get since...last November?

It really bothers me that some men are just all talk. No action. Just talk. Get your minds out of the gutter! Not about sex, but everything else. Why must you run your mouth for GP (general purposes) when you clearly know you have no intention of backing your ish up??? Wait...I know the answer...it's because you're on that bullsh*t.

Yeah...that's it.

Anyway, I'm on my mp3 player, so I can drown out the roomie ranting about various ish not to her liking in the office. I don't know what to tell ya, homie. This Madonna song, "4 Minutes" is banging. I don't think I would have known about it if I didn't watch the Ellen show everyday. Then there's that Sunsilk commercial. I would love to hear the SU Jukebox play this!

I'm about to get back to the grind and this d@mn powerpoint, so until then...

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

The Recap

It's Hump Day. I am SO freaking sleepy!!! I had class at 7 a.m. this morning. Yeah. Had to be there, already set up and going...at 7 a.m. I normally don't get out of the bed until about...oh, I don't know....7:27 a.m. My alarm goes off at 6:45. So pitiful and lazy.

I haven't been sleeping that well lately. On top of that, I had dance practice at church yesterday and it damn near killed me. Let me tell you, Trinitee 5:7 has some looonng songs. My knees were aching. They still are! And genius didn't bring flats to work today. I have on stilettos. BRILLIANT!

So, my Granny had a stroke last Tuesday. The same exact thing as my Daddy had--receptive aphasia. I have NOT been doing well behind this, but I feel better today than I have. I know God will make a way, so I just ask that His will be done. It's crazy how when you love and care about someone so much, you take on their feelings, worries, issues, etc. I feel that way about my Mama. But everything's okay.

On a lighter note, why am I attracted to a-holes? I guess it's in my ancestry, like Jay says. Maybe I'm the a-hole? They say you attract yourself..hmmm, that's something to think about.
Speaking of attraction, I have a new friend and I mean just that. I don't think it will go further than that. Cool dude. I should for all purposes be on that. But I'm not. He isn't either, I don't think.

We went out a few times. It was cool. No sparks, like I like. BUT I need to learn to take things slowly and not expect to be knocked out of my socks. It doesn't happen often, but when it does, it's GREAT. But you see where's that's gotten me...nowhere fast.

So, I'm just chillin. Trying to just be. No expectations, no nothing. It's going pretty well.
School is over almost. The last (unofficial) day of class was Monday, so holla! I really, really enjoyed those students. So sweet! One of them even gave me an award for Teacher of the Year of their ceremonial speech. Tear! Maybe they were sucking up, but it worked!

I semi-befriended the adjunct next door. She seemed kinda spacey at first, but she's cool. Hell, the longer I talked to her, I think she thinks I'm the spacey one. I won't teach this summer because I need a break, but I'll be back in the Fall. Even though I got a fat raise and bonus (surprise!), I just like to teach.

Yet, I still know academia is not my thing. I like the practical part of teaching. The semi-friend adjunct and I were talking and comparing teaching styles. I got some great tips. She is a doctoral student, teaches three classes and a full load. Doing it! She showed me her final exam and I wanted to jump out of the window asap. Essay questions, sample outlines, commentary on MLK and Obama speeches. WTF? I'm so on that multiple choice, short-answer game! Too shame.....

She was just like, "Oh!.....Okay, I see!" In other words, "what the hell are you doing, lady? Get out of here with that elementary test!"

Or maybe that was my insecurity? After about 30 seconds, I got over it. I'm not in school for a Ph.D. (though I probably should be!). I only get paid $500 a month, so my tests work great! I don't have time to grade the papers I have, let alone a 5 page outline and essay. Get a life! But whatever works for you. She seems like the party-academic though. Send me an invite to the graduation!

I signed on to be a virtual account executive for a local PR firm. This couldn't have come at a more awkward time, as it's summer and I want to chill and my mind is on family. It came for a reason though. I still have that PR bug and the only way to see if I should still pursue it, is to do this. It's commission, so it's what I make of it. I really don't want to waste my time though. We'll see. I have a good feeling about it. I get to see the ins and outs of a real PR biz.

Everything happens for a reason.

Anywhoo, that's it, I think.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

What the Heezy??

I am into horoscopes and zodiac signs (I'm an Aries, by the way!). Not in the I don't believe in God/psycho/don't go to the grocery store tonight because my horoscope said so way. But I am into them. I think they all have some truth to them. The way we are and how we interact with others. I always read my Yahoo horoscope and move on about my day. Recently, a friend put me on MSN horoscopes, which I never read. Here's mine for today--the regular and the love horoscope:

Today you might just take a trip - perhaps a long distance vacation, dear Aries. This may have been planned in advance, but it could just as easily be one decided on the spur of the moment. You're in the position where you feel secure enough financially and established enough in your working life to cut yourself a little slack and make time for enjoyment. Do something new and different - even if others think you're crazy!

Umm, who has been looking in my planner. I had a trip to ATL this weekend on the books until the flights skyrocketed. For $500, I could go three times and back. So I've decided a mini-trip is coming up for me in May. No diggety. No doubt!

Your sense of humor comes to the fore, with today's position of the planets. Love is very much associated with whether you and another can laugh at the same things and appreciate the same kind of jokes. Although you tend to be very much aware of physical appeal, in this instance you may find that even though this particular person doesn't conform to your idea of good looks, they are beautiful within.

Clearly, I've been struggling with this exactly! Who knew? I'm shallow, but in the best way possible! I'm not perfect, so why should I expect others to be? And we all know how I feel about making me laugh. Bring the jokes on!

Oh yeah, my birthday is tomorrow!! Yay me!

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

I Love You, Memphis Tigers!

I'm not a sports buff, by far...I'm a girly girl. But I have to get this out...

The boys are coming home today...it's kind of sad, ya know? To say I am an employee of the University of Memphis, I didn't really get into basketball until they got to the Elite Eight. I really started paying attention. I had no choice, I guess. EVERYWHERE I turned there were interviews and stories about the players. I realized then that these are young Black men, babies really. Nineteen and 21 years old. They had a lot of pressure on them. But the most important thing was they were persevering and doing well....and they had MEMPHIS on their jerseys. These are our boys.

When I saw the "Prelude to a Championship" last night, I almost got a little teary-eyed. So many people doubted them, but look at how far they'd come. They didn't win (dammit!), but they're treasures to us here in this city.

Chris Douglas-Roberts (what ya'll know about those hyphenated last names?!-lol), Derrick Rose, Joey Dorsey, Anderson, Dozier (way to shoot those 3's) and Taggart....Welcome home! GO TIGERS!

We love you!

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Just Some Things to Think About

Why don't I have Danity Kane or Day 26's cds? I listen to them on Imeem all day though.

Why are interludes the best songs on the album?

Will I ever decide if I'm going to ATL for my birthday next week?

What am I going to do the actual day, A-Day, that is!?

Why must I live in the past?

Why didn't I go to the Jill Scott show last weekend? What the h-- was I thinking?

Will I get in to this Angela Davis symposium tonight?

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Two for Tuesdays


It's Tuesday, April 1. I don't really care if it's April Fool's Day, but I do care that it's the first day of my birthday month. Nine more days until A-Day! As usual, I have no idea what I'm going to do, but I'll think of something. Things are moving right along. This weekend because it's springtime, the girls tried to get it poppin' by going out to this new club. Keep in mind that I haven't been out since Jesus walked the Earth (Aug. 07). It was....different. Fun, but different.

We stayed in the Grown and Sexy room with the chill music for the longest. Later, we moved to the crunk room and I heard songs I'd never heard before. I had never seen so many chicks wearing leggings with short shirts or freaks of nature, as I call them. The fake-a$$ Buffie the Bodies and Melyssa Fords. Spare me, please...

By 1:30 a.m., I was ready to go home and go to sleep. I was thinking about what I was going to wear to church. Sad, huh? Though no one said it there, we all felt like we were the old women at the club. And we weren't...but still. Ya know? I'm so over walking around to be seen and to see who's there. I saw one guy who I pretty much already knew was going to be there. We clearly should have gone to the other party downtown. Much more mature... Moving on...

Don't forget to check out the anniversary issue of Clutch Magazine, featuring the beautiful Tasha Smith, Suze Orman and hot fashion, beauty and culture.

If you're wondering, the title of this blog has nothing to do with what I posted, obviously. Just a catch phrase...lol.