Tyrone Biggums Changed My Tire
Driving to work this morning, an 18-wheeler in front of me on the expresseway kicked up something that went under my car. Before I knew it, a woman in the left lane was motioning for me to look at my tire. I immediately got off at the next exit into the gas station. Because if it can happen, it will happen to me.
There is like six tears in my tire. The ish is almost on the rim. Thank God I made it to a safe place in time. While on the phone with my father, this guy comes up and asks do I need my tire changed. Of course, I say yes, becasue I'd still be there today if I had to wait on roadside service. Anyway, he begins changing the tire, but then I realize five minutes into it, this is a damn fool!
First he asked me to turn the radio on so he could "wake up and feel the beat." Okay, dude. Whatever it takes to get this tire on quick. He commences to pull out a 120 oz. can of generic beer and even reached in my car to turn the volume up. Don't play me, dude. All the while he is asking me all kinds of personal questions like I'm really going to tell him where I work (address included) and where I live. He's saying stuff like, "Yeah, mane, I'm trying get some work and you just showed up. See how stuff work out? I know you gon break me off some change or sumthin cuz I'm helping you out...you know what I'm sayin'???" What am I doing? Behind my shades looking like, shoot me. Tyrone Biggums is changing my tire!
Then he stops to chop it up with the Miller Light truck driver and his partner. Every three minutes he is stopping to ask questions and chit chat. Just put the damn tire on already!!! Then he asks me, "You must gon be late for work?" Ya don't damn say, huh? Finally after an eternity, he starts to put the car down. I take the keys out the ignition and he asks what happened to the music. I said, "You're finished. Why do you still need music?" He just stands there. I said, "Sir, I appreciate you, but can you put the jack in the trunk? I gotta go." He sees the $5 bill in my hand and tells the Miller Light guy he has to finish the job because he just knows I got more than $5.
What the hell? Did Tyrone just try to play me yet again when he now smells like the bottom of a trash can after only 15 minutes outside?
I say, "Sir, this is all I have. You can take it or not get anything. And why the hell are you drinking beer this early in the morning? (Wasn't my business but it was bothering me.)
He starts to laugh and I comtemplated cursing his a$$ out on the spot in front of the Miller Light man and the white dude in the Fred Sanford truck.
But I brought it down. It's Monday morning and worse things could have happened. The moral of the story is...Tyrone Biggums changed my tire. These are the kinds of things that happen to me and stranger things have happened. What a life.