Quarterlife Mocha Girl

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Drop Your Thoughts in the Box

Hi-yah! Pretty full weekend. Friends, sushi, wine, birthday party and shopping (just for one dress). Can't complain about it at all. If I didn't say so before, the housewarming went well. I still have food left over. After a second gathering at the house, my fridge is still full. Moving right along.

Weekend lesson: Wine and salsa dancing do not mix well. Remember that.

Moving right along. I'm a social media junkie. Well, I won't go that far, but I'm into every major social media site. I haven't even deleted my Myspace page yet, even though I never check it. I still have pics up from 2007. Facebook has an application called the Honesty Box. You ask a question and your friends anonymously answer. The most information you receive is the gender of that friend.

I'd set one up over a year ago and recently check it last week. A total random move. I've never responded to anyone else's questions, so I guess I didn't expect them to respond to mine. I had responses though. Quite a few. Surprise surprise! The latest response asks me, "Do you want a jumpoff?"


Um. No.

I could go on about that, but the even bigger question to ask is this: Isn't it crazy that we have to have Internet applications to find out what people really think about us? Shouldn't there be an Honest Box for life? But it not be anonymous? Why do we have to fight so hard for the truth?

How ironic that I'm one of those people who has a hard time being honest with some folks. Honest as in "I don't think you're the one for me because I'm repulsed by you," not "I didn't go to bank, I stopped at the mall, instead" honest.

Either way, honesty is something that should be practiced more often than not. I'm looking at honesty like the Golden Rule. Do unto others, as you have them do unto you.
Nighty night.

Friday, September 25, 2009

You're Making It Too Easy

Last night I was supposed to be sprawled out on my couch getting some much needed rest, but I was taken over by the Idiot Box. Yes, it's true. I can't stop watching television. Every year, I ask myself what it is that I going (to try) to fast. I now have my answer: television.

After crying myself into a tizzy over George being dead on Grey's Anatomy for the full two hours, I watched RHOA. I'll spare you all the messy details and skip to something that caught my attention. Just as NeNe and Khandi were about to verbally attack each other, Khandi does the mature thing and walks away. NeNe (with her messy a$$) continues talking crazy, then some woman tells her, "NeNe, no, you're writing a book. You have a book coming out." You know, as if to say she's about to release a New York Times Bestseller that will take her to the stages of Oprah and Good Morning America, alike. GTHOH!

I've seen the book and besides publicity on the celebrity blogs, I've heard nothing about it. It's chilling on the side bookshelves at Wal-Mart. I just saw it the other day. It pains me to know that someone will make this the reading for their monthly book club.

That brings me to my point, finally. My homie, E. and I were talking last night and she mentioned that now you don't have to be a writer to become an "author." She's right. Look at Toya (Carter). She's coming out with a book. Celebs, left and right, are selling books, but they aren't writing them. They're simply telling their stories to someone else who writes and edits them.

Now, I'm all for telling your story, inspiring others and getting paid while doing so. As I'm writing this I'm thinking of the other side of the coin, too. Who am I or anyone else, to say that someone who has not had formal training or education can't put a powerful story out for others to read? If you can't do something well enough, get someone else to do it, right? For example: Aliyah S. King's (my mentor in my head when I act right) work on a memoir for Faith Evans. Maybe she didn't have the skill or nerve to write it herself, but her story is still a great one. So, there it is. A memoir written by a seasoned, published author is born.

However, the market is TOO flooded with everything. Everybody wants a book, clothing line, television show, music career. It ain't for everybody. For a chosen few, it's an art, a way of life, a career that provides shelter, clothing and food to eat. For everyone else, it's just a way to get paid and it's fleeting. I can only imagine how real authors who were trained and perfected their crafts and gifts feel. Kinda like a published journalist to a blogger (I'm working on it!), an award-winning singer to a Kim, an Oscar winner to a rapper (except Queen Latifah/Ice Cube).

It's just too damn easy. Look out for my new clothing line and book combo in Spring 2010. I might throw in a wig line, too, even though I don't wear one.

Thursday, September 24, 2009


"He smelled so good! You know, it's that kind of thing where when you hug a guy, the smell is buried in him."
-Oprah on Shawn Corey Carter


You know, lately, I've been on this kick about guys. I just read a wonderful post by a writer/blogger/friend in my head, Jozen about liking people, crushes and things of that nature. It's been so long since I've had a real crush. Hell, it's been so long since I've been around a guy that makes me go......siiiiigggghhhhh.

Here are a few things about men that make me go "sigh."

1. Cologne: Please, refer to previous quote. There is nothing like a man who smells good. Now, don't get me wrong, seems like just this weekend, I leaned in for a hug from a guy and almost passed out because his strong-ass cologne was invading my nostrils. The right smell and just the right amount is "sighable." Yes, I just made that up. Don't judge me!You just inhale, go to Heaven and never want to come back down.

2. Hugs: Who doesn't like a big, strong, lingering hug? If you don't, kill yo'self! It's so lovely! I've yet to decide if a slim guy or a big guy gives the best hugs. It doesn't matter as long as I am wrapped up and engulfed in it.

3. Fresh haircuts: Sorry, bald-headed dudes. This doesn't apply to you, unless your hair is growing back. A fresh haircut with the perfect line and fade-out/taper (whatever!) is awesome. I guess that's the way guys feel about our hair. I can't explain what it is about them. Maybe it's proof that you take care of yourself? Maintenance is what's up.

What else do you think is "sighable"? I could go on, but I didn't want to be so specific. Your turn.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

No Words=?**&?!

I've been thinking (as usual) how crazy it is for two people to have two totally different ways of thinking about a situation. Listening to a guy friend last week, he metioned a girl in a situation who is his "friend" and has been for almost 20 years, but she is "kinda in love" with him. Wow. I guess that situation is slightly different because he knows how she feels about him.

What about when the woman sees a guy as a friend only. Let's even say an associate. The guy thinks they have been in something synonymous to a relationship for some time. How does that happen? And while we're asking questions, what does "dealing with" mean? As in, "we've been dealing with each other for a minute." And takers?

Yeah, I don't know either, but it has prompted me to take a look at how I communicate and "deal" with other folks. It's obvious, more than ever before, that lack of communication only causes confusion. Why did it take so long for that to sink in.



Friday, September 18, 2009

Don't Be Tardy Fah Da Partay!

It's raining. Again. It's been raining since Sunday and will probably continue until later next week. I can't question God and His work. We must need all this rain. Sometimes it makes me feel good and sometimes it just depresses me. What's a day without a peak of sunshine?

Tomorrow's the housewarming. I don't know how I feel about it. I'm excited to see my friends and family. That's really what matters most, I guess. I'm wondering did I overdo it though. You know? Too much food? Not enough? Do I have enough space? Hell, will anyone come? Regardless, the important people will be there, so it's all good.

Let's take a step back and talk about how extra these Housewives are. Kim, you are certified crazy and even though Kandi flipped the hell out of "Don't Be Tardy For the Party," it's still wack! And I can't get that damn hook out of my head!! Someone please help me understand how you claim you want to be a singer, even go so far as to have a professional writer/producer work on your track and then you confess that you have a fear of singing. I mean, who does that???

Ugh. Just ugh.

Friday, September 11, 2009

What's Wrong With This Picture?

If you read blogs, you've probably seen this dude on the scene in Atlanta. Hair shows, fashion shows, album release parties, etc. It wasn't until I saw him last night on RHOA (you know what that is!) that I found out his name.

The one and only (thank heavens), Derek J.

Again, I ask you, what's wrong with this picture?

Could it be a grown-ass man in a kimono and mini-skirt? Or the fact that he squeezed his fat feet in some stilettos? Maybe it's the fact that he has a full-grown goatee and a choker on?

Take your pick!

I consider myself a liberal. Do you what you do because it's not taking money out of my pocket or whatever, but when I saw him show up to Kim's door with grey skinny jeans, studded stilettos and an off-the-shoulder shirt, chaneling the chick from Flashdance, I just couldn't take it anymore. This ish is out of control.

I have a close childhood friend who lives his life as a woman. It doesn't bother me. Hell, we even showed up in church with the same shoes on! Maybe it's because he doesn't don a beard and fade! I'm so confused.

I wonder what his mother thinks....sheesh!

Thursday, September 03, 2009

So Happy God Doesn't Think Like Us and Other Random Stuff

This may come as a complete shock, but I just comtemplated what I call "disconnect and reconnect." As of right, social media and the internet as a whole is WAYYYY too much for me. Case and point:

1. Chris Brown (and his bowtie): Thank heavens I missed C. Breezy's interview on Larry King Live. I didn't know it was coming on anyway because I felt like he deserved another chance. He's clearly a kid in a (almost) grown man's body. Why did I go to bed and wake up to Twitterland ripping this boy to shreds?

Apparently, he's not that articulate and his PR team needs to be fired asap. We already knew this. The interview on Larry King, of all places sent the issue, which was almost dead, to another level. No one was really caring. Too much Michael Jackson, Ted Kennedy and healthcare reform stuff going on.

Terrible, awful mistake to go hard on Rihanna. Even bigger mistake to kick up dust about it almost five months later. What I don't understand is how you have grown ass people nitpicking at this young man. Get over it. Yes, I saw the bowtie and I will say that if he was gonna rock it, powder blue should have never been a color option. But we always knew CB needed a stylist, right? So, as of right now, #ChrisBrownsbowtie is #2 trending topic on Twitter. I'm all for laughs, but I need not for 75 percent of the people on my list to have nonstop commentary about him and his faults.

I know what you're thinking: Well, damn, just don't get on the Internet. DUH! (Hence my idea to disconnect.) Also, this is not so much about CB as it is the lack of sensitivity towards people. Let the boy serve his time or hard labor, get extensive counseling and grow up. Hopefully, that will solve it.

2. Maia Campbell: I refuse to post the video because I know you have seen it by now. Evidently, she's bipolar and her deceased mother, BeBe Moore Campbell's last novel, 72 Hour Hold was based on her. She's been out there for a minute now, but this video shows us what's going on. She needs help badly. Where are her family members? Father? Aunts or cousins? After this was posted, Twitter, FB and the blogs blew up about it, some even calling her a "crack whore" and "slut." It's not funny. She needs immediate help, but all we--Black folk---know how to do is hate and kick people when they're down. I hope this video will do just as much good as bad. Hopefully, she can be found and given what she needs to go on.

3. Whitney Houston: Yes, I missed the performance and I simply didn't want to see the clips of it. She looks fabulous and I like her new single. The burning question from people who didn't see it was, "How did she sound?" I read mixed reviews, but more negative comments than anything. Supposedly, she sounded terrible and is not the "old Whitney." Guess what? You're right! I'm a firm believer that God can preserve his gifts, but after 10+ years of crack and whatever else, I doubt she's blowing like she was in '93. Give her a damn break! It took enough guts to come back in the first place. I say kudos to Whitney!

I'm starting to believe that hate makes the world go 'round, instead of love. Atleast, according to the Internet.

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Blah Moments

Right at this very moment, I could go to sleep. Why? Because I have a bad attitude. Why? Because I don't know. Someone said something to me that I'm sure was harmless and I've been pissed ever since. That was atleast two hours ago. That's okay with me though.

I don't want to do anything today and I have plenty to do. Again, I just want to go to sleep. I was reading a new blog and the blogger gave details about a wack first date she had. That reminded me of one of my dates. Maybe it wasn't a date, just an outing. You know there is a difference. However, he did pick me up and pay for dinner so I reckon it was a date. I really tried to like this dude. (Well, kinda). He was older, had himself together. A real job, home, no children, not in a relationship/married. You get it....Cool guy. We even talked for hours on the phone about regular stuff.

Actually this was our second "date" and I think by that time, I'd realized that the chemistry was not there. But he was cool and getting out is always good. I was trying to test myself to see if I didn't like him because I really didn't like him in that way or if I was being shallow.

First, he didn't come to the door. Okay, no problem. I think we went to the movies (can't remember the movie) and then to dinner. Conversation was regular. We didn't have shit to talk about on the way back, in the car surprisingly. It was that dead, uncomfortable silence. Ugh. So it was time for me to get out of the car. He asked for a hug before I left. Gave me this uncomfortable "car hug". Keep in mind the car was a coupe so it was hella hard trying to accomplish that. Looking back on it now, perhaps he was expecting me to ask him in? Nahhh.

I was in my apartment on the first floor at the time. It only took me 15 seconds to get to my door and unlock it. I'll be damned if before I could get the key in the lock, this dude burned out!! He didn't wait to see if I got in safely. THAT pissed me off. By the time I stepped on my Welcome Home doormat, I turned and saw his damn tail lights. WTF is that about?

I'm smart enough to know that either he was a complete idiot or he just wasn't feeling me. Either option is fine because I wasn't feeling him either. But then he sent a text to check on me for the night. Huh?

Yet another reason why there just wasn't any chemistry.