Me, Myself and I

Hello My People!

Finally after my vacation is almost over, I'm at peace with myself. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, by the way. I have neglected this blog, but honestly, it's hard for me to write at home. Too many distractions. Anyway, I hope your holiday was blessed. Mine was.

Sooo, what have I been doing? Not a damn thing! I did buy myself a few things for Christmas, as well as some family members. I have some red jeans that I can't wait to rock. Um, other than that, I have not had anything to do. And no one to do it with. So, I've just been chilling, taking inventory of this year and setting goals for next year. At first, I was antsy and didn't know what to do with myself. I'm used to having something to do, whether it's working, writing, going places. None of that has taken place, but I actually enjoy this time to myself. It's exactly what I need. I'm about to start working on an essay for a magazine. Wish me well.

I've had some uncomfortable, surprising things happen regarding relationships (or pseudo-relationships). Because of that, even down to the very last days of the year, I'm learning more about myself and seeing the things that I need to change or that I need guidance in. One thing about me is I'm terrible in telling people how I feel. Either because I think it will hurt me or hurt someone else. Finally I see that it's better for everyone in the long-run. I promise that I will work on changing that in 2008. They say the truth shall set you free, right? We'll see.

What's my next step? Last year, I had a resignation letter burning a hole in my work bag, I was so ready to hit the job with. New things were on the horizon. New things that I could see. Now, a year later, I'm ready for a change again. But yet, I'm still blessed and I am content. I just need to make moves...um, whatever they may be.

Have a lovely New Year, people!

I Hope This Posts

So if you haven't noticed, my last entry is blank. I know I'm not crazy. I'd written a post and published it for sure. Don't remember what it was about, but I did. It's gone. Oh well.

Nothing much going on. Only one more day and I won't be back to work until after the New Year. What am I going to do with all that free time? I've been bored to tears the last couple of weeks. My mama told me I need to get a life because I was a littel too excited about watching The Beyonce Experience and Nip/Tuck. Whatever, dude. I was highly entertained by that ish.

I should have something to do for NYE. Hopefully. It's time to get back on my grind. I have been slacking in the "Making Dreams Come True" department for obvious reasons, but I'm beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Daddy is getting better slowly, but surely day by day. I already have a list of things that I need to do for the New Year like asap. Where is the passion I had for writing? It's still there, but I haven't done anything yet. No contacts, not a lot of writing recently. I'm trying to venture into life skills coaching. Something that I need my damn self! lol. I like this facilitating thing, especially with teens. Did I tell you I may be considered for a PR internship in the A? I applied just because and they contacted me. Will I take it? Who knows? I do know that a new job opportunity needs to surface next year. How many jobs have I applied to? None.

Again, I say, I'm slippin. No time for it in the '08. I'm just waiting for everybody to start shouting their corny mantras for the NY. "Straight in '08." "Don't Hate in '08." You get the idea.

What about love and relationships? What will I learn about myself? More importantly, how will I change things? I'm such a work-in-progress.

Okay, off to play Dirty Santa!

Friday Randomness

The Breakdown

I trust that you are enjoying Camp Lo, just as I am. This weekend was okay. Daddy came home Friday and he's improving everyday. He was so glad to be home. Walking into the living room at their house and seeing him and Mama sitting in their usual spots having (short) conversations really made smile.

Yep, I went to the PJ Morton show. I say his name only because Johnta Austin didn't show up. Most people came to see PJ anyway. He is awesome live! It's a shame that it was only a handful of people there, but those were true fans. If I were an artist I'd rather have genuine, act-a-fool-when-their-song-comes-on fans any day. He is a Fly Nerd, indeed. I met him and he autographed his CD, Emotions (get it!). No, I didn't interview him. Instead, I'll do a review of his performance.





If you missed the special on The Bible Experience, you really missed something. I'd seen two other docs on it, but this one is the best. I was blessed just by watching. Seeing people (stars or not) be consumed by the power of God is amazing. And ya'll know I'm sensitive. Check it out. I'm purchasing this for Christmas.



Pt. II
I haven't blogged about it, but He, That One, is back. Yes, I've been talking to him regularly and I still don't know what I hope will come of it. Probably nothing, but for now, I'm glad that I can talk to him without that tense feeling and thinking about whether or not this is the last time I'll talk to him. We're cool. I'm no longer wishing that we could be together some way, somehow. I'm good on the current state of the situation. It is what it is.

The scary thing is this: If I should one day (finally) say this ish for the birds FOREAL FOREAL. When I can't deal with him anymore or I lost that feeling I have for him--who is it that can top him? For the longest he's been "it" for me. EAnd he's not even what I would consider my "prototype." Everyone else has been so-so in comparison. I know that there is someone out there who will "float my boat" wayyy better than he. Make yourself seen, dude. Quick!

PT III

It's foggy like Gotham City here today and it's raining that misty rain. So I head on down to the subshop in my building. Before I went, I was thinking that I'm just in this funk about the way I look. Do you ever feel that way? Not my looks overall, but just today. My hair is done, but I don't like it. I liked it yesterday. I really just threw something on to wear. Nothing special. Today, I look like a Monday.

Sooooo....imagine how delighted (and shame) I was to see this guy who works in construction by my parking garage. Last week on the way home, I walked past him and even under thee cap, jacket/vest, I could see that he was pretty hot. So, this country girl spoke, of course. He did, too and turned around to watch me walk away. It was odd that I never see any cute construction guys around.

As I was paying for my food, he came around to the register. I sat at a booth to wait for my food and he walked up and asked could he and his coworker sit with me because there wasn't anywhere else to sit. He sat there and ate with me and we talked about whatever. He says, "All I want to do is sit down and eat my food with an attractive lady like yourself. May I?"

No, we didn't exchange numbers. I do know that he has degrees in English and Management and he's never had a job in his field. He likes what he does and he wants to write a book. I'll probably see him again, because the downtown area is a new contract. All of that said, he told me my name before I could get it out.

It's nice to get compliments and eat lunch with a handsome, WORKING man. Especially on day that you feel so sh*tty.

Happy Monday: Video Flashback

Good mornting!

I've only been at work less than an hour and have already engaged in unproductive behavior. Guess what I found on Youtube??
Oh and check out the hot guy from Digable Planets, minus the dreds. It's amazing what a good haircut will do!

TGIF: The Dreamer Version

What It Do? (I don't think I've actually typed that before-lol)

What's up? It's Friday and I couldn't be happier. For starters, I woke up this morning (Amen!), Daddy is coming home from rehab today and I actually have something to do this weekend.

I have two tickets to the Johnta Austin & PJ Morton show tomorrow and I'm too excited! I write for a new online magazine based here called Neosoulville. (Check out my feature on Algebra Blessett.), so supposedly, I'm interviewing PJ. I LOVE him! Maybe I'll get to take a few pics. You know I'll post them asap.

This is the kicker. I have two tickets, but no one (that I want) to take. Ain't that about nothing? All this week, while thanking God for his many, many blessings, I also thought about things that I'd like to do. I've been dreaming constantly.

I want to live life to the FULLEST! Fullest is not the same to everyone. Once upon a time, it would have been getting into the hottest, crunkest, most crowded club in VIP with apple martinis overflowing. I've grown up a bit. Now I want to travel, lay out on a beach or island, take a trip to be pampered in a spa with my closest friends, be able to jump up and do what I want to do whenever, be in love (real love), not have to work two and three jobs to live comfortably. Oh, and overflowing martinis is still part of the equation!

None of these things are impossible. They're all POSSIBLE and they will happen. I'm not making any resolutions or things that I wish would happen to and for me in 2008 because it's already done. I don't consider this a pity party for my dreams and goals because God has already proven himself time and time again, so as long as I do my part, He'll do His.

That's good to know.

I was going to post about the few things this week that got on my nerve, but it's over, so why dwell on it? I'm inspired by the people in my life who are moving on and going after their dreams, whether it be an advanced career, a career change or getting life back to what it used to be. Anyway, that's about it.

Happy Friday!

I Guess I Should Update You, Huh?

Hey Ya'll!

First, thanks for all of your prayers and kind words while my family was going through this ordeal. Long story short, my Dad had a small heart attack, followed by a bypass surgery, followed by a stroke that affected his speech and language part of the brain. It's called severed receptive and expressive aphasia. So that means, for awhile he was basically babbling. He could not understand us nor could we understand him. The neurologist said that he "could possibly improve" but he may be that way forever. What? My Daddy? No way!

As I watched my mother nearly give up before my eyes, I knew that we just had to continue to pray. It hurt me just as much to see her lose an ounce of hope because she's always the strong one to tell me it's okay when I start to spaz out. He was restrained because he wanted to get out of the bed and walk, but could not. It was surreal to me. Since then (two weeks ago), he has improved drastically. He can still read and write a little, still say some words clearly. He's in a rehab hospital receiving intensive speech therapy. He's back to being Daddy again. During this time, I learned a few things:

God is so good. Watching Daddy progress is watching God perform a miracle right before my eyes. I cannot say THANK YOU GOD enough.

Prayer really works. Try it.

I saw, not for the first time, but magnified, unconditional love between my Mama and Daddy. I can't say I see that all the time, but my mother NEVER left his side for a minute. She prayed over him day and night. I hope I will have a relationship like that some day.

Hard times do bring people closer. I think I'm closer to my sister than I was before.

Daddy is still funny, even when he's sick.

Sometimes you just need to be alone and other times you really need someone to talk to.

You have no control over what happens to you in this life. All you can do is trust in God for strength and endurance.

I got my sensitivity and that dang crying from my Daddy's side. lol

That's about it. It's still a long road to full recovery. In some aspects, it's like teaching a child to read. It takes time and we are prepared. It makes me smile to hear his voice. When he says, "What's up, Kiddo?" that makes all the times I wished he would zip it when I was going out late or asking for directions to a place fly out the window. I rather hear that all day than nothing at all.

So all it all, again thanks!