Tyrone Biggums Changed My Tire

Driving to work this morning, an 18-wheeler in front of me on the expresseway kicked up something that went under my car. Before I knew it, a woman in the left lane was motioning for me to look at my tire. I immediately got off at the next exit into the gas station. Because if it can happen, it will happen to me.

There is like six tears in my tire. The ish is almost on the rim. Thank God I made it to a safe place in time. While on the phone with my father, this guy comes up and asks do I need my tire changed. Of course, I say yes, becasue I'd still be there today if I had to wait on roadside service. Anyway, he begins changing the tire, but then I realize five minutes into it, this is a damn fool!

First he asked me to turn the radio on so he could "wake up and feel the beat." Okay, dude. Whatever it takes to get this tire on quick. He commences to pull out a 120 oz. can of generic beer and even reached in my car to turn the volume up. Don't play me, dude. All the while he is asking me all kinds of personal questions like I'm really going to tell him where I work (address included) and where I live. He's saying stuff like, "Yeah, mane, I'm trying get some work and you just showed up. See how stuff work out? I know you gon break me off some change or sumthin cuz I'm helping you out...you know what I'm sayin'???" What am I doing? Behind my shades looking like, shoot me. Tyrone Biggums is changing my tire!

Then he stops to chop it up with the Miller Light truck driver and his partner. Every three minutes he is stopping to ask questions and chit chat. Just put the damn tire on already!!! Then he asks me, "You must gon be late for work?" Ya don't damn say, huh? Finally after an eternity, he starts to put the car down. I take the keys out the ignition and he asks what happened to the music. I said, "You're finished. Why do you still need music?" He just stands there. I said, "Sir, I appreciate you, but can you put the jack in the trunk? I gotta go." He sees the $5 bill in my hand and tells the Miller Light guy he has to finish the job because he just knows I got more than $5.

What the hell? Did Tyrone just try to play me yet again when he now smells like the bottom of a trash can after only 15 minutes outside?
I say, "Sir, this is all I have. You can take it or not get anything. And why the hell are you drinking beer this early in the morning? (Wasn't my business but it was bothering me.)

He starts to laugh and I comtemplated cursing his a$$ out on the spot in front of the Miller Light man and the white dude in the Fred Sanford truck.

But I brought it down. It's Monday morning and worse things could have happened. The moral of the story is...Tyrone Biggums changed my tire. These are the kinds of things that happen to me and stranger things have happened. What a life.

Hello, I'm the Shiznit...Are You Really?

Sometimes people are put in your life for....nothing. Maybe not so much nothing as the very opposite of the purpose you intended it to be. Just from knowing a certain person, I have discovered that I despise an insecure man. Not the man who looks insecure, wallowing in self-pity about what he doesn't have or who he is not with, but the man who puts himself out there to be the sh*t. He boasts about his house, his car, his job, his this and that, knowing he has issues. Deep issues.

Guess what honey? We can see straight through that fa sad. It's so very disgusting to me when a man says he likes a woman who is not materialistic and just wants him for him. Yet, every conversation turns into what he has has and how he ranks in comparison to other men. That is the most aggravating thing in the world. It sends me through the roof and makes my nerves extremely bad.

There was a time when I asked myself if I was blocking a blessing God had for me because I had this mental block up about being with this person on any level other than "just cool." I based it on how he used to be in the past and how others viewed him. That was shallow and immature, I'll admit, but it was what it was. Just because you meet every requirement on the check-off list (own home or apt, decent job, no kids, car) doesn't mean you fit the bill. What kind of person are you on the inside? Everyone has insecurities, but blatant proof of that is just so unattractive.

He showed his a$$ this weekend for the final time. Now I don't feel bad about throwing the deuces to him. A close friend said if you are the sh*t, you don't have to tell me. I'll know it and feel it. I don't feel it. Never have.

I always say when you get a feeling, THAT feeling that says something just ain't right--like Beyonce says, LISTEN. Some call it woman's intuition, I call it God speaking. LISTEN. I'm so glad I did.

Guess Who's Bi-Zack

Hey kids. I'm back. Atlanta was nice. I saw old friends and made some new ones (Hey Dede!). And thank God there were some friends that I didn't see purposely. Sitting at conferences all day at a crowded table with people you don't know from Adam was much more tiring than I thought it would be. I didn't much of anything the first couple of days. I pretty much slept and caught up on The Hills and Bad Girls Club. It was all good too, since I was a temporary victim of PMS. (Maybe that was TMI!)I did go to the movies, out on the town and out to lunch, so that was hot.

Anyway, several things went on that I noticed while I was away:

I like being by myself. DUH!

Being out of town makes you come to terms with the reality that you don't have a man!! Sheesh, that's for the birds these days.

That really sounded desperate, but hey I told you I was a victim of PMS. I was an emotional creature. Gimme a break!

People are just rude for no damn reason! If the instructor is giving us important instructions for an assignment, why are you having a full blown conversation about the Peachtree Center Food Court next to me??? Shut the hell up!

Why is it that I always end sitting next to the smarty-art person in class? That person who has a comment and feedback about EVERYTHING??? Why me? Some people have control issues and need to be STOPPED! If you know so much about financial planning, why are you the student, instead of the instructor? See previous comment for required instructions.

This guy who sat next me (mentioned above) was put on earth to aggravate me from February 19-21. Him gawking at me and trying to cheat on a quiz that was clearly a practice quiz sent me over the edge. And yes, I did ask him, "Do you have a problem???" And was dead serious!

Only in Atlanta can you get Chinese soul food! It was Mardi Gras time and since I went to school in Louisiana, I'm conditioned to want Cajun cuisine around this time. Ya know, crawfish, turkey necks, gumbo, etc. In the food court, I see a black guy sampling La. style spicy chicken. I'm thinking, "yummy!" I get close and see five Asians staring at me. They asked me if I wanted shrimp-fried rice with my Mardi Gras chicken. WTF??? Say it ain't so! They had eggrolls and jambalaya!!! I thought I was in the Twilight Zone, but I betcha I got that Mardi Gras chicken and fried rice! lol. Get it how you live.

My small-talk game is wiggedy wiggedy WACK. To me anyway. After I tell you my name, where I'm from and what I do, what else is there to say??? I think I'll buy Small Talk for Dummies or something.

We drove past a gay club downtown, Bulldogs, and I got teary-eyed. Damn all those fine black men---going to find each other! Humph!

Some people go too far with the fashion statements.strong>em> Stick with a theme already! You should not have on a Navy jacket with a short peach and green necktie, baggy jeans, New Balance and a scully. You look a hot mess. SIT DOWN!

Why did this lady in class straight CLOWN because the hotel staff threw away her danish while she was at lunch? She was from Atlanta, making the natives look bad. She was saying she was leaving class to go talk to the hotel management because it "didn't make no sense." I understand it's the principle and all, but a danish that you got out the vending machine???? When they throw your wallet out, then you act a fool. Good grief!

This has nothing to do with my trip, but still work-related. I finally figured it out, my co-worker looks like the big-headed psychologist on South Park. Everytime I see him, I want to say, "IT'S EASY, MMMKAAAYYYY!!"

Taking a Trip

Hey People! Unfortunately and fortunately I'll be in Atlanta on business for an entire week, so I won't have my significant other (my computer) with me, hence no blogging, no internet surfing---NOTHING. It should still be pretty fun though. And lonely. I'm the only one going from the office. But's it's cool. I'm an only child (halfway) so I'm the queen of solitude.

Hopefully, I can see some friends and do something similar to having a life while I'm there. I'm still going through my little phase, but I think I'll be out of it soon. See ya next week!

In the Words of Chris Rock, I'm a Smarty-Art ****

Good grief, that was a challenge!!!

The Randomness

It's been a minute. Not too much going on these days, so here goes a little of the things I've noticed...

Beyonce's performance at the Grammy's made me yawn.

Gnarls Barkley's performance was EXCELLENT!!! My favorite line of Crazy is:
Who do you think you are? Ha ha ha! Bless your soul. You think you're in control? Well, I think you're crazy!
Again, just how did this duo come to be again? I'm just sayin...

I saw a hint of hateration in T.I.'s eyes when Luda won for Best Rap Album. I was hatin', too!

Why must we get the church member who drags along AND sings off-key to do the morning hymn?? As if they're not slow enough already.

I love Tee Tee on The Game!!!

VH1 Soul is the best thing that ever could have happened to me. Last week I watched every single, solitary video by New Edition and all its members back to back. Damn, that Ronnie Devoe was hot to me!

Speaking of VH1 Soul, I really want to find out my ancestry like the commercial suggests, but I just can't come up off that $99. This is why Black pepople can't get ahead. I'll have to be at peace with the fact that I'm from somewhere in Africa.

Do we look forward to February because of Black History Month or Valentine's Day? Don't answer that...

Why does it not feel like Black History Month? All I have seen is beauceaup McDonald's commercials. Where is my Roots? Queen? Eyes on the Prize?

Why are the old women who mispronounce words the most always retired teachers?

For some odd reason, I'm really excited to do my taxes this year. And I DON'T EVEN CLAIM MY GRANDMOTHER OR NEICES AND NEPHEWS TO GET EXTRA MONEY.! LOL

New Hotness: Jazmine Sullivan

I found a new artist to add to my favorites and she doesn't even have an album out yet! Jazmine Sullivan, the writer behind Christina Milian's "Say I" and Beyonce's "Resentment," is the ish. Officially. Check her out at www.myspace.com/jazminesullivan.

Here's a clip from Youtube. Enjoy!

I WILL NOT LOSE!!!!!

Yep, he said it before. That damn Sean Carter is at it again. First the Jay-Z Blue, the Yukon and now Cherry Coke. You heard right. I don't drink it, never have liked it, but now I may give it a try. See what branding and hot endorsers can do for your product?

Jay-Z and RocaWear have redesigned Cherry Coke's bottling to give it a new "street" look. It needed some pizazz, I guess because Coke is running into some hard marketing times lately. It's pretty hot. Does this man ever stop? Accomplishment is so sexy, dontcha think?

New Yorkers Aren't That Bad After All

I just found this story on AOL.com. New Yorkers are really stepping up to the generosity and goodwill plate these days. I'm glad somebody is reporting feel-good stories.

Cabbie Returns Bag of Diamond Rings
AP News
NEW YORK (Feb. 7) -- Never mind diamonds -- a New York cabbie was a Texas girl's best friend. The driver returned 31 diamond rings he found in his cab after dropping off the passenger, who had left him with a 30-cent tip on a $10.70 fare.

"All my life, I tried to be honest," said Osman Chowdhury, a native of Bangladesh. "Today is no different." But the 41-year-old cabbie from Queens did have a message: "I'm proud of what I did so that people know New York taxi drivers are honest." What he did started on Monday evening, when he picked up the woman at a hotel in midtown Manhattan and drove her to an apartment building several blocks away. She gave him $20 to pay the fare and asked for $9 back.

The woman, who said she was a jeweler, got back the gems on Monday when she arrived at the alliance office around midnight -- incredulous at her luck. She offered Chowdhury a reward -- a check for $100.

"I cannot take a penny for being honest," he said, but he reluctantly accepted the money to cover the fares he lost while trying to track her down. He said it never occurred to him to keep the diamonds. "I'm not going to take someone else's money or property to make me rich. I don't want it that way," said the soft-spoken cabbie, who was a contractor in Bangladesh until he came to the United States 15 years ago.

He does not own a cab but rents one. "I enjoy my life. I'm satisfied," said Chowdhury, who is single. He didn't even mind the meager tip. "I think some people might be broke," he said. "Or they're distracted."

The woman from Dallas asked that her name not be made public.
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Morals of the story:

* Honesty is a GOOD thing and can even turn you into a hometown celebrity.
* Idiots get blessings everyday (speaking of the anonymous woman).
* Stop being so damn cheap!! Sheesh!

She had better keep her name anonymous....

Be Positive You're Negative

What's up world, or the two or three people who may read this regularly. lol. Whoever you are, this is a serious post this time. I'm a day late, but not a dollar short this time around. Yesterday, February 7, was National Black HIV/AIDS Day. For seven years, this day has been set aside to recognize the the toll HIV/AIDS has taken on the African American community.

National HIV/AIDS Day is December 1 of every year, but how unfortunate for us to have our own day. We are the demographic most affected by this deadly disease. Here is the purpose of the day, according the official website at www.blackaidsday.org:

The mission of National Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day (NBHAAD) is to build the capacity and increase awareness, participation and support for HIV prevention, care and treatment among African Americans. February 7, 2007 marks the seventh year of this annual event.

The primary goal of NBHAAD is to motivate African Americans to get tested and know their HIV status; get educated about the transmission modes of HIV/AIDS; get involved in their local community; and get treated if they are currently living with HIV or are newly diagnosed.

Sometimes it's easier said than done because it's still somewhat taboo, miseducation, but mostly because of FEAR, we need to get tested!! Believe me, waiting for that test result is not the most relaxing thing in the world, but it's worth the wait. Ignorance may be bliss, but ignorance is also deadly.

We as African Americans have to get it together. Our lives are at stake. We are dying left and right from heart attacks, hypertension, diabetes and now HIV/AIDS. You are responsible for your own life, so you must act take action to protect it. I'll spare you the long list of statistics because unfortunatley numbers don't speak reality into people's hearts and minds. It takes seeing someone deteriorate right before their eyes or attending a funeral of a friend to know that this is real and CAN happen to you and me. So what are you going to do about it?

www.blackaidsday.org

Ciao'

Something New

Ok, what the heezie is going on? I must be experiencing the things that this blog was named for. I'm in this stage where I don't feel like doing anything. Things of the social nature, that is. I used to be a social butterfly, now when the opportunity arrives to go out or do something, my reply is, "Nah, I'm straight." Maybe I'm tired from the two jobs. Hell, I'm always tired though.

This year has already been a wonderful and life-changing one and we're only 36 days into it. I'm blessed. We know this. However, there are some other changes that need to be made that will obviously take a long time to come to pass.

1. I need to get out of my comfort zone to experience new things and new people. I consider myself a pretty cultured chic, but fun does not always have to consist of "the club," even it is free. There's more to living the life than that stuff. I took inventory and a lot of men friends I've met, I've met them THERE. What do you call doing the same things repeatedly and expecting different things? INSANITY. That was way harsh, but it's true. In all life situations, there is an unspoken rule that we don't like to conform to. Try something different to get something different.

Actually, I was going to list some other things, but I think that about sums everything up for me. That wasn't as hard as I thought.