Dear Mr. Irreplaceable

I don't mean no harm, but.........

I'm so damn tired of Beyonce's Irreplaceable!!! Yeah, yeah, I know almost every woman can relate and it's a real song.

But dude, can you Puh-LEEEEASE hurry up and get everything you own in the box to da left??? So this song can get to to da left, to da left and bring it down on the constant airplay!!

This song, just like you is irreplaceable.

Thanks,

Management

The Waiting Room

Tick tock goes the clock...

Since I last blogged a LOT has happened. What am I doing now? Of course, I'm sitting at this desk waiting for time to swiftly pass, instead of dragging along so slow and aimlessly like it is. It's Friday, the Friday before Christmas might I add and I just don't want to be here.

Tick tock goes the clock...

I'd tried to blog several times this week, but everytime, though my mind has been racing, nothing goes from my mind to my fingers to type. It's like that sometimes. And it sucks.

Update on the job thing. The interview went well. Last week she said she'd get back with me at the end of next week. Next week has become this week and last time I checked, Friday was the end of the work week. So I'm just waiting. Nothing else to do.

Tick tock goes the clock...

Ironically, a job that I was unofficially offered a few months ago was RE-offered to me. What am I going to do? That was dumb of me to ask because I already know what I'm going to do. But I would like to know what's going on with this current opportunity.

Tick tock goes the clock...

In addition to that, I'm interviewing to do more promotional work. The manager and I have been playing phone tag. Go figure.

Tick tock goes the clock...

To top that off, I'll be teaching an oral communications class at a local community college, something I've always wanted to do. Maybe I'll like it. Mama has always said that I'm a teacher at heart. Maybe not that so much as I don't mind running my mouth in front of people. I did substitute teach elementary students for a year in grad school. They were so sweet....but they were a FOOL, too! Who's raising these kids?

So the point is that I'm waiting. But either way, there is something new and fresh around the corner waiting for me. I'm grateful for all of these opportunities. I guess I'll just hang out and big chill in the waiting room until my name is called...

The Big Day (Not My Wedding Day)

Tomorrow is the big day. The Interview. I'm nervous as hell, I can't lie. I've gone over these "most common interview questions" over and over. Even answered them out loud. I guess I'm up and down. Ultimately (and like always), it's all in God's hands and what He wants for me when. I should be at peace with that. And I am, but I guess it's human nature, especially my nature to worry.

Over a year ago when I just knew I was ready to leave my job, I applied and interviewed for another similar to this opportunity. Once I got there, I realized that I didn't really want it. The trifling ass company, a Fortune 500 company might I add, waited like seven months to contact me and tell me they "went with another applicant." No shit, right? I know the chick who got it. I was fine and at peace with the decision months ago. There would have been no way I could do that job and finish my thesis. So beneath the surface of disappointment is always a blessing.

We'll see how this thing goes. I won't jump the gun, put the cart before the horse or count my eggs before they hatch. I get all these country cliches from my Mama, by the way. Don't be afraid to use them. Anyway, I'm doing what I do all while keeping things in perspective.

Let's see how it turns out.

I'm Not Eating..but I'm at Lunch

My lunch hour is from 12 p.m. to 1 p.m. I'm hella broke, so I brought leftover chicken tenders and fries to work to eat. It took me like 10 minutes to microwave and eat the entire thing. It was only 1 1/2 chicken tenders and yes, I did eat microwaved fries! They're not so bad when you're as hungry as I was. Anyway, I run back to my office with about 40 minutes to spare. My plan was to blog (obviously), do a little Myspacing and put the finish touches on a project I'd been doing.

I hear the pitter patter of feet coming down the hall. My supervisor's feet. He always walks like a wild man, like he's "stomping with the Big Dawgs." I swear he wears Gortex boots, foreal. As the boom, boom, boom gets closer, I pray a silent prayer to myself, one that is constant at my job.

"Please, Lord, don't let him come in here."

I guess my prayer must have been in snail mail, instead of email. In less than five seconds, I feel Mr. Gortex walk into my office and asks about 25 questions and even go further to discuss them.

The look on my face was undeniable and it said: "Why are you talking to me about work in the 12:00 hour?"

Point: I'm not eating, but I'm at lunch. Just because I'm sitting at my desk does not mean I intend on doing any kind of work, whatsoever. Can I relax in my office in peace for the remainder of the lunch hour?

It's only fair. It is in the Employee Handbook.

Give us us FREE!!!!

Wherever You Are/Silly of Me

Have you ever had a person that you just couldn't get to? Someone you really wanted to be with? Like ever? If so, it's so brief, so quick, so over so fast, you damn near don't have memories sufficient enough?

This is in reference to someone I'll call Runaway Love. I am officially missing Runaway Love. Very stupid of me, but I can't help it. He's here today, gone tomorrow. Story of his (and my)life. Over and over again.

Have you ever smelled something like a scent or just the night air and it reminds you of a feeling you had when you were with that person? Happens to me all the damn time and it makes me sick.

I realized (again) that I have to, MUST say goodbye to Runaway Love. When (no ifs, because it's his job to appear when I'm over it)I see him again, I cannot revert my mind back to the past. I can't go forward living in the past.

So......

Goodbye Runaway Love, wherever you are....

You Think You Know, But You Have No Idea

Today was interesting to say the least. I got all ready for my day. You know today was Interview Day. The green light on the work phone flashed and I almost didn't check it. The HR lady tells me that they need to reschedule...to FRIDAY. She did make several attempts to contact me through email, work and home phone. Kudos. I smiled through the phone and said, "Oh, it's not a problem. Friday is great for me." Really, I was thinking, "Damn, damn, damn." Rescheduling is the STORY OF MY LIFE.

Impatience is the name of my game. Let's get the is over and done with it. Not a good way to be, but I'm workin on it. In the meantime, between time, I get the actual job description for the position and you know I don't remember applying so that was a plus. I realized that I needed to regroup to think about new answers to possible questions, etc, etc.

Then Mama calls and says she's taken Grandma to the hospital because she was weak. My nerves at this point are bad. Mama, being Mama, said, "Don't worry about Mama, she'll be fine. I'm just being cautious. You do what you gotta do for this job." (Sidebar: She wants the job more than me!)I tell her about the reschedule. Later she calls back and says they want to keep Grandma overnight because she has a small case of pneumonia. WHAT??

At that time it was 2 something. I was so glad that I didn't have that interview because there was no way I could've concentrated and done my best with all that going on.

All that to say, God knows what to do and He always has a plan. When you think things aren't going YOUR way, He shows you it was for the best.

Grandma is doing fine and I still have 4 extra days to prepare for this interview. I am staying prayerful and positive. What a day.

Random Thoughts

Why do you always want what you can't have? Could it because once you really got it, you'd realize you don't want it as much as you thought you did?

Somebody please tell me why I was listening to Cypress Hill's How I Could Just Kill a Man in Spanish. But the chorus was in English...HUH?

White shades really aren't cute. I don't care what Fabo, D4L and nem told ya.

A girl in the Backyard Burger line had a whisper that stank. Pass the popcorn! LMAO

If you got that joke, I like you.

Speaking of Fabo, I really, really like ONE CHANCE's song, Look at Her. I can't help but snap to it.

In fact, I'm listening to it right now!



Is "perifaruls" a word or peripherals?

Hate to admit it, but Mary J. was KILLING Song Cry live on Fade to Black...And I don't mean in a good way...

Everything happens for a reason.

I really need to clean out my closet. My real closet. It was a walk-in, now it's just a look-in. Tupac or Jimmy Hoffa are hiding in there under all them damn shoe boxes and belts.

How was Diddy ever convinced that he could rap??

Watching No Limit's Hot Boyz movie, I realized that Silk the Shocker had a weird hairline. No wonder he always wore caps.

One of my slideshows doesn't work on Myspace.

Why do birth control pills have to be taken at the same time everyday?

I should be reading over my powerpoint presentation instead of blogging. Where are my priorities?

Making Up for Lost Time

This is my last one for today. I neglected to say that I have a job interview with a great company tomorrow evening. It came as a surprise since I don't even remember applying for the job. And I applied recently. Finally, all my profile making and email sending is paying off. I have an inside track at the company, so maybe things will work out.

Things have been on the up and up. I really have a good feeling about this one. It just seems like I'm stuck at my current job. Nowhere to go, but out the door, ya know? In the meantime, I also have other gigs lined up if this doesn't work out. I'm still applying to jobs like crazy. I really hope I get that teaching job and I'm going to do promotional work again, hopefully.

Confession: I encouraged people, helpless addicts to smoke. I was....a KOOL Girl. Yep, put me in all black with five cases of cigarettes in a hole-in-the-wall and fiends were sure to come. I needed money and it was $17/hr. I was making more than I do my real job if it was a full-time deal. I thought, "what the hell?" Even though I DETEST smoking, I gave any and everyone two packs each just to fill my quota. It got to the point when it was just disgusting. They were going crazy over the squares, foreal. It also didn't help when my Daddy had a heart attack and the #2 cause of it was smoking. He probably came out the womb smoking a cig though, but it didn't make me feel good knowing I was marketing smoking. Aside from the health efffects, the smoke stinks hella bad.

Anywhoo, I don't plan on marketing squares again. Let's try make-up or deodorant. Something girly. Wish me luck on this interview. Better yet, send up some major prayers.

Ciao'

I Need Therapy...Like Foreal

What do you say when a close relative tells you you need to see a therapist because you find something wrong with most men you come in contact with??

Exactly...... I guess I couldn't argue with that, but at the same time, am I THAT bad? Is it my fault that I attract the wrong men? Wait, don't answer that! Anyway, I've made a short list of things that I don't like in men. Some they can help, some they can't. Oh well, here goes. Let me know if I'm normal or if I need to go lay on the couch. This is in no particular order. These are what I call NO DEALS.

Insecurity. Sure everyone has them. I'm no execption. But let's not put them on blast to the world. Gets no pity from me.

Small hands. I'm 5'10, so that's a negative for me. I once dated a guy whose small hands snuck up me. Drinking from a "big glass" looked like a 3-year-old holding the statue of liberty.

Tapered-leg jeans. Dude, let them go. Stop suffocating them ankles, alright? It's not a good look, unless you're trying to get that Hee Haw thing going again.

Sagging pants. While we're on the attire. This is not the set of Menace II Society, you are not O'Dog and it's not the mid-90s, so why in the heezy are you sagging your pants? It wasn't hot then and it's not hot now. Please note that no one in their right mind wants to know what your underwear looks like. And what's the point of sagging them if you're pulling them up every three seconds? Just come outside with no pants on, it's just the same. Finally, if you're grown-ass man like you say, sagging should be considered...(in my French accent) how do you say??? UNCIVILIZED.

Dead teeth. What is a dead tooth, you ask? ROTTEN. Discolored. Lacking life or feeling. Again, this snuck up on me. Note to self (and you)Never give a guy your number in a poorly lit place. Only God knows what he and his teeth really look like!

Conceitedness. Ain't nothing wrong with have confidence. It's quite sexy. BUT, let's not take it to the extreme. Some chick(s) have imeegidly dropped the draws and blow you up with phone calls and texts, now you think you're big shit. Um, no. Not in my book.

Let me elaborate. The guy fits the bill, checks off all necessary requirements. Good job, educated, no kids (visible), own place, car, good looks. Yep they come a dime a dozen these days, but does that mean they have to act like they're a top commodity? So irritating. Then again, some people are just born conceited.

Rudeness (i.e. NO damn home-training) Do you not have any common respect? Do you not know what to do and when not to do it? I once had to straight go off on a guy because he was fooling with his new TRIO palm pilot thing the whole time we were having drinks. Who do I look like? Not sexy sir! I had to get this one out for my friends. If you see me out and you come to say hello, great. But acknowledge the people I'm with, instead acting as if they're invisible. Open yo damn mouth and speak. Again, common courtesy. Learn it and live it!

Whew! That took a lot out of me. Can you tell I was getting mad as I was writing? Damn, maybe I do need to see a shrink...

It's Been a While

I'm falling off already, damn. I've had a lot on my mind though. Everytime I sit down to type, I end up doing something else. Such as going straight to Myspace, Facebook, AOL, Yahoo and tada....other people's blogs. It's offical: I'm obsessed with other people's blogs. They are so funny and insightful and an inspiration to me, might I add. Just when you think no one else has crazy thoughts, habits or ideas like you, you read a blog. Ahhh, a sigh of relief!

For the past few days, I've been stuck in bed with an aggravating sinus infection. It's been like 30 degrees everyday. And I haven't been taking my vitamins. Yuck! I finally drug myself to the doctor after work on Friday. (Aren't you proud of me? I didn't call in sick.)I really didn't need to go because I already knew what was wrong with me. Just write the dang prescription already. To my surprise, the doctor saw me immediately. Before I could tell her what was wrong, she asked me 15 million questions. None of which applied to me. After three deep breaths and a blood pressure check, she was out the door. Came back with not one, not two, not three, but SIX prescriptions. What the hell?? In the words of Martin, "Woo woo woo woo!!!" First off, do they come in generics??? After my final analysis of mandatory monthly expenditures, I decided that my checking account was on life support. Ready for the plug to be pulled at any time...So, ain't gon be no buying six prescriptions. Period.

I took it upon myself to decide which two drugs I need the most. Just my luck they didn't come in generics and the cost was 100 muthaf&$king dollars!!!!! For a 10-day treatment. The cure to all the world's diseases better be in those damn bottles!!

But they do work. Obviously, since I'm typing away like this. I should be in the bed. LIKE NOW. For the past two days, my bed has been surrounded by tissue, Kleenex (there's a difference!) and the countless numbers of socks I've been pulling off in my sleep. So that's what I've been doing. Living the life, huh?

The Wendy's Greeter

Remember Steve Harvey's joke about the mentally-challenged Wal-Mart greeter? I had my second or third encounter with the Wendy's Greeter, by my job. Not the first time I saw him, but every time is just like the first time.

I KNOW what you're thinking, "Wendy's doesn't have greeters. Do they???" The answer is hell no, but the one by my job created a special position for this dude. No sooner than you put your big toe over the threshold, he's in your face, "Hey, how you doin? You doin' alright??? Yesssss!"

Upon the first encounter, I don't care, mentally-challenged or not, you're thinking WTF?? Then you don't know how to act. Do you laugh, stay calm, ignore him or what? That is, after you've kindly said you're doing alright and don't need any straws right now. The line is always hella long at this Wendy's, even when it's not lunch hour, so one by one, people are coming in trying to hold in their laughter. Even the assistant manager at Office Max across the street, who has on a pocket protector everytime I see him! It's really sad.

After a while, it's not funny, but just plain aggravating. You can't even eat in peace. Leaving out he tells customers "The blood of Jesus on ya, brother (sister)." Wow. Nothing wrong with sharing affirmations of faith, but....I don't know, you just have to be there.

On the other hand, he's doing his job (to the tee, might I add) and I guess that's all that matters. I wonder am I being insensitive?

Speaking Of

This should really be entitled "Thinking Of" because that's what I did. A couple of months ago I decided to apply to be an adjunct professor at a local community college. After all, I did follow through with my Masters degree to dibble dabble in teaching. I've tried it before on two occaisions and I actually liked it.

I was just thinking last week and last night even about whether or not I'd hear from the school. They go by the "Don't call us, we'll call you" rule, so I couldn't push the issue. I thought maybe once Christmas breaks nears, I'll hear something. This is not a full-time position, only in the evenings. That way, I'll find out if I really want to pursue teaching full-time and get some more change jingling in my pockets. Believe me, I need it!

Instead of writing this, I should be calling the HR lady back to schedule an interview date. I'm kinda nervous, which is unlike me. I don't have a problem talking in front of people I don't know. THANK GOD for that! I also have to teach for 10 minutes on any topic of my choice. What do you think about this: "How to Waste Time on Myspace and Blogger?" Sounds good to me! I'll let you know how it turns out.

No More Niggas and Bitches

(Singing) To all my niggas and all my bitches, put your muthaf*ckin hands in the air!!

Remember that song from Snoop's Doggystyle album?? Sure you do. I know one person who won't be singing along to that tune. Paul Mooney. Yeah, you heard me. If you've been living under a rock for years or atleast never caught the Chappelle Show, Paul Mooney is Negrodaumus and also a comedian who is known in my book for "hating on white people." He doesn't really hate them but he's quick to point out the ills of society and attribute them to the good white folks. He has written for Richard Pryor, In Living Color and Chappelle, among others.

Mooney reported that he will no longer use the N-word. I'll say it for you--nigga. He will not use the word bitch in reference to women. Instead he'll use heifer. Whatever floats your boat, I guess. This sudden change of heart comes from Michael Richards fiasco. Mooney interviewed him and I was quite surprised that he didn't rip him to shreds. He ain't too easy on Caucasians. Instead, he took an introspective look at himself and society, how just the word "nigga" affects us all. Made some changes. Let me tell you, Mooney says nigga ALL the time. He may have to bite his tongue on this. I'll be watching. Should be interesting. I think we all should try it.

Untitled

Ha ha...made you think about that ole D'Angelo video huh? Too bad he's an overweight alcoholic who doesn't believe in designated drivers. But damn, he could sing!

I'm at work. About to be sunken into that hole of boredom, which may eventually lead to me watching my eyelids. It's Friday, it's cold as hell outside and my hair looks a shitty mess. All of this makes me want to jump in bed and hide, then SLEEP.

Don't get me wrong, it could have been worse. Today I stood outside in 29 degree weather for a special event for only 15 minutes, instead of 5 hours like I supposed to. Count your blessings, huh? While there I was severely aggravated by my fellow African Americans, my Black folks. We're at a check presentation by our NBA team for my company that included giving food boxes to needy people. An organizatin brought their clients out for the event.

While the lady, who was young and white, was making the presentation, the women on the front row were screaming out, hollering at the basketball players and causing a scene. Now before you think I'm being an Aunt Thomasina, listen. Yes, it was embarassing as hell. Yes, the good white folks were making faces. I don't give a damn about the white people, but I hate that sometimes we don't know any better or aren't taught any better and when we act an ass, in white people's minds (those who think this way)we're proving them right about whatever thoughts and misconceptions they have about us.

So not fair. So finally when the girl next to me finished dancing to her "I Know You See It" ringer and answered it loud and continued to hold that GOOD conversation ON BLAST, I couldn't take it anymore. Asking the players to take you home with them is out of order, out of control.
Even the players, who seemed to be assholes, with the exception of maybe two, talked on stage the entire time. Playing around, being pro athletes, I guess. In the end, it really wasn't even about race, it was about home training and manners. Does anybody have any these days?

Glad I got that off my chest.